Sink With Me Into the Abyss - The Godawfullest Movies from Bad to Worst
Ascending to the bottom, then...
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- DirectorDavid LynchStarsNaomi WattsLaura HarringJustin TherouxAfter a car wreck on Mulholland Drive renders a woman amnesiac, she and a Hollywood-hopeful search for clues and answers across Los Angeles in a twisting venture beyond dreams and reality.
- DirectorPeter JacksonStarsMartin FreemanIan McKellenRichard ArmitageA reluctant Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, sets out to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of dwarves to reclaim their mountain home and the gold within it from the dragon Smaug.
- DirectorPhilip KaufmanStarsSam ShepardScott GlennEd HarrisThe U.S. space program's development from the breaking of the sound barrier to selection of the Mercury 7 astronauts, from a group of test pilots with a more seat-of-the-pants approach than the program's more cautious engineers preferred.
- DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsTom HanksRobin WrightGary SiniseThe history of the United States from the 1950s to the '70s unfolds from the perspective of an Alabama man with an IQ of 75, who yearns to be reunited with his childhood sweetheart.
- DirectorStanley DonenGene KellyStarsGene KellyDonald O'ConnorDebbie ReynoldsA silent film star falls for a chorus girl just as he and his delusionally jealous screen partner are trying to make the difficult transition to talking pictures in 1920s Hollywood.
- DirectorKevin SmithStarsBen AffleckJoey Lauren AdamsEthan SupleeHolden and Banky are comic book artists. Everything's going good for them until they meet Alyssa, also a comic book artist. Holden falls for her, but his hopes are crushed when he finds out she's a lesbian.
- DirectorTom TykwerStarsBen WhishawDustin HoffmanAlan RickmanJean-Baptiste Grenouille, born with a superior olfactory sense, creates the world's finest perfume. His work, however, takes a dark turn as he searches for the ultimate scent.The book is a master-work. That the film's characters pronounce the 's' in 'Francois' is about all that needs to be said about its level of intelligence.
- DirectorSidney LumetStarsHenry FondaLee J. CobbMartin BalsamThe jury in a New York City murder trial is frustrated by a single member whose skeptical caution forces them to more carefully consider the evidence before jumping to a hasty verdict.The Utter Moron's Guide to Jury Duty
Oh look! The old man has just revealed he has 20/20 vision! How convenient! - DirectorMel BrooksStarsGene WilderMadeline KahnMarty FeldmanAn American grandson of the infamous scientist, struggling to prove that his grandfather was not as insane as people believe, is invited to Transylvania, where he discovers the process that reanimates a dead body.
- DirectorJoel CoenEthan CoenStarsNicolas CageHolly HunterTrey WilsonWhen a childless couple--an ex-con and an ex-cop--decide to help themselves to one of another family's quintuplets, their lives become more complicated than they anticipated.
- DirectorSergio LeoneStarsClint EastwoodGian Maria VolontèMarianne KochA wandering gunfighter plays two rival families against each other in a town torn apart by greed, pride, and revenge.
- DirectorSergio LeoneStarsClint EastwoodLee Van CleefGian Maria VolontèTwo bounty hunters with the same intentions team up to track down a gang of outlaws led by a psychotic Mexican bandit, who is plotting an audacious bank robbery.
- DirectorTommy Lee JonesStarsTommy Lee JonesBarry PepperDwight YoakamRanch foreman Pete Perkins looks to fulfill the promise to his recently deceased best friend by burying him in his hometown in Mexico.
- DirectorGareth EvansStarsIko UwaisAnanda GeorgeRay SahetapyA S.W.A.T. team becomes trapped in a tenement run by a ruthless mobster and his army of killers and thugs.
- DirectorMark RobsonStarsBarbara ParkinsPatty DukePaul BurkeFilm version of Jacqueline Susann's best-selling novel chronicling the rise and fall of three young women in show business.
- DirectorRob MarshallStarsJohnny DeppPenélope CruzIan McShaneJack Sparrow and Barbossa embark on a quest to find the elusive fountain of youth, only to discover that Blackbeard and his daughter are after it too.
- DirectorRobin HardyStarsEdward WoodwardChristopher LeeDiane CilentoA puritan police sergeant arrives in a Scottish island village in search of a missing girl, who the pagan locals claim never existed.
- DirectorBéla TarrStarsMiklós Székely B.Vali KerekesGyula PauerA lonely barfly falls in love with a married bar singer.
- DirectorDebra GranikStarsJennifer LawrenceJohn HawkesGarret DillahuntAn unflinching Ozark Mountain girl hacks through dangerous social terrain as she hunts down her drug-dealing father while trying to keep her family intact.
- DirectorValerie BreimanStarsAdam SandlerBilly Bob ThorntonBilly ZaneA struggling young comedian takes a menial job on a cruise ship hoping for his big chance to make it in the world of cruise-ship comedy.
- DirectorDavid FincherStarsBrad PittCate BlanchettTilda SwintonTells the story of Benjamin Button, a man who starts aging backwards with consequences.
- DirectorLarry CharlesStarsSacha Baron CohenAnna FarisJohn C. ReillyThe heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.
- DirectorJonathan LiebesmanStarsAaron EckhartMichelle RodriguezBridget MoynahanA squad of U.S. Marines becomes the last line of defense against a global invasion.
- DirectorYôjirô TakitaStarsMasahiro MotokiRyôko HirosueTsutomu YamazakiSoon after buying an expensive cello, Daigo learns that his orchestra is disbanding. He moves back to his hometown with his wife, where he answers an ad for what Daigo thinks is a travel agency but is, in actuality, a mortuary.
- DirectorBarry SonnenfeldStarsTommy Lee JonesWill SmithRip TornAgent J is sent to find Agent K and restore his memory after the re-appearance of a case from K's past.'Men in Black' with every last shred of its brains kicked out.
- DirectorAkira KurosawaStarsTakashi ShimuraNobuo KanekoShin'ichi HimoriA bureaucrat tries to find meaning in his life after he discovers he has terminal cancer.Wonderful premise, wretchingly juvenile execution.
- DirectorPark Chan-wookStarsSong Kang-hoShin Ha-kyunBae DoonaA recently laid off factory worker kidnaps his former boss' friend's daughter, hoping to use the ransom money to pay for his sister's kidney transplant.
- DirectorJames McTeigueStarsHugo WeavingNatalie PortmanRupert GravesIn a future British dystopian society, a shadowy freedom fighter, known only by the alias of "V", plots to overthrow the tyrannical government - with the help of a young woman.
- DirectorJeannot SzwarcStarsHelen SlaterFaye DunawayPeter O'TooleAfter losing a powerful orb, Kara Zor-El, Superman's cousin, comes to Earth to retrieve it and instead finds herself up against a wicked witch.Abysmal though the film itself may be, I do highly recommend the opening credits.
- DirectorDavid CronenbergStarsJames WoodsDebbie HarrySonja SmitsA programmer at a Toronto TV station that specializes in adult entertainment searches for the producers of a dangerous and bizarre broadcast.
- DirectorVincent WardStarsRobin WilliamsCuba Gooding Jr.Annabella SciorraChris Nielsen dies in an accident, and enters Heaven. But when he discovers that his beloved wife Annie has killed herself out of grief over the loss, he embarks on an afterlife adventure to reunite with her.Watch this movie, OR stare at Robin Williams photoshopped into the middle of a crater for an hour and fifty minutes. Either way.
- DirectorMichael BayStarsBruce WillisBilly Bob ThorntonBen AffleckAfter discovering that an asteroid the size of Texas will impact Earth in less than a month, NASA recruits a misfit team of deep-core drillers to save the planet.
- DirectorSam MendesStarsKevin SpaceyAnnette BeningThora BirchA sexually frustrated suburban father has a mid-life crisis after becoming infatuated with his daughter's best friend.
- DirectorF.W. MurnauStarsGeorge O'BrienJanet GaynorMargaret LivingstonA sophisticated city woman seduces a farmer and convinces him to murder his wife and join her in the city, but he ends up rekindling his romance with his wife when he changes his mind at the last moment.
- DirectorMartin ScorseseStarsWillem DafoeHarvey KeitelBarbara HersheyThe life of Jesus Christ, his journey through life as he faces the struggles all humans do, and his final temptation on the cross.
- DirectorTarsem SinghStarsHenry CavillMickey RourkeJohn HurtTheseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity.
- DirectorTony ScottStarsChristian SlaterPatricia ArquetteDennis HopperIn Detroit, a pop-culture nerd steals cocaine from his new wife's pimp and tries to sell it in Hollywood, prompting the mobsters who own the drugs to pursue the couple.
- DirectorJeff NicholsStarsMichael ShannonJessica ChastainShea WhighamPlagued by a series of apocalyptic visions, a young husband and father questions whether to shelter his family from a coming storm, or from himself.
- DirectorJoel CoenEthan CoenStarsTim RobbinsPaul NewmanJennifer Jason LeighA naive business graduate is installed as president of a manufacturing company as part of a stock scam.
- DirectorKasi LemmonsStarsSamuel L. JacksonJurnee SmollettMeagan GoodWhat did little Eve see--and how will it haunt her? Husband, father and womanizer Louis Batiste is the head of an affluent family, but it's the women who rule this gothic world of secrets, lies and mystic forces.
- DirectorPaul JohanssonStarsTaylor SchillingGrant BowlerMatthew MarsdenRailroad executive Dagny Taggart and steel mogul Henry Rearden form an alliance to fight the increasingly authoritarian government of the United States.
- DirectorJohn PutchStarsSamantha MathisJason BegheEsai MoralesRailroad owner Dagny Taggart and steel mogul Henry Rearden search desperately for the inventor of a revolutionary motor as the U.S. government continues to spread its control over the national economy.
- DirectorJohn HustonStarsHumphrey BogartWalter HustonTim HoltTwo down-on-their-luck Americans searching for work in 1920s Mexico convince an old prospector to help them mine for gold in the Sierra Madre Mountains.
- DirectorBrian W. CookStarsJohn MalkovichJim DavidsonRichard E. GrantThe true story of a man who posed as director Stanley Kubrick during the production of Kubrick's last film, Eyes Wide Shut (1999), despite knowing very little about his work and looking nothing like him.Infantile. Poor, poor Malkovitch. Best D.V.D. cover for a terrible movie ever.
- DirectorMarcus NispelStarsJessica BielJonathan TuckerAndrew BryniarskiAfter picking up a traumatized young hitchhiker, five friends find themselves stalked and hunted by a deformed chainsaw-wielding loon and his family of equally psychopathic killers.
- DirectorAlejandro JodorowskyStarsBrontis JodorowskyPamela FloresJeremias HerskovitsIn a little Chilean town, the son of an uprooted couple formed by a rigorous communist father and a loving but weak mother tries to pave his own path in a society that does not understand their Jewish-Ukrainian origins.
- DirectorPaul SchraderStarsJeff GoldblumWillem DafoeCristian MotiuIn the aftermath of World War II, a former circus entertainer who was spared from the gas chamber becomes the ringleader at an asylum for Holocaust survivors.
- DirectorTakeshi KitanoStarsDuncanTokie HidariAkiji KobayashiObsessed with the idea of owning his first car so he can have sex in it, a young man takes any job he can find and ends up in an escalating series of crazy situations.
- DirectorStephen ChowStarsStephen ChowWei ZhaoYat-Fei WongA young Shaolin follower reunites with his discouraged brothers to form a soccer team using their martial art skills to their advantage.
- DirectorMichael BayStarsShia LaBeoufMegan FoxJosh DuhamelAn ancient struggle between two Cybertronian races, the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons, comes to Earth, with a clue to the ultimate power held by a teenager.
- DirectorTobe HooperStarsDennis HopperCaroline WilliamsJim SiedowA radio host is victimized by the cannibal family as a former Texas marshal hunts them.I was conceived the year this movie came out, so my brain was considerably better developed than the ones that produced this.
- DirectorSteven BrillStarsAdam SandlerPatricia ArquetteHarvey KeitelAfter two of the devil's three sons escape Hell to wreak havoc on Earth, the devil must send his third son, the mild-mannered Nicky, to bring them back before it's too late.
- DirectorJean-Pierre JeunetStarsAudrey TautouMathieu KassovitzRufusDespite being caught in her imaginative world, Amelie, a young waitress, decides to help people find happiness. Her quest to spread joy leads her on a journey where she finds true love.My concise review:
http://www.amazon.com/review/R2FBFYNY2A0JHM/ref=cm_cr_pr_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B004SEUIXS&nodeID&tag&linkCode - DirectorGeorge MillerStarsTom HardyCharlize TheronNicholas HoultIn a post-apocalyptic wasteland, a woman rebels against a tyrannical ruler in search for her homeland with the aid of a group of female prisoners, a psychotic worshiper and a drifter named Max.