Average Films
A list of films I've given five or six stars. These aren't necessarily bad in any way, nor are they necessarily good. These either won't warrant much attention or I'd give a hesitant suggestion to the right viewer.
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- DirectorMichael CiminoStarsKris KristoffersonChristopher WalkenJohn HurtDuring the Johnson County War in 1890 Wyoming, a sheriff born into wealth does his best to protect immigrant farmers from rich cattle interests.The movie that sunk United Artists and pretty much ended the era of directors making whatever they want and studios giving them the money to do so. This was at the very end of that wonderful period of time when Scorsese, Coppola, Lucas, and Spielberg among others were changing cinema forever. These directors names brought in crowds, their vision was expansive, and studios were willing to go over budget and let the director have creative control. But then Heaven's Gate happened...a movie that went four times over budget, made no money at the box office, was critically panned, and is only remembered to this day as the movie that led to studios being in charge of everything.
I like Heaven's Gate to an extent. It's Michael Cimino, a good director with a lot of vision. The movie is extremely well-shot and uses the Wyoming scenery to its advantage. Here we have a rather simple tale of an Eastern Harvard grad who becomes a Marshall in Wyoming during the 1790s when land hungry folk are willing to kill foreigners in order to take their acreage. Thus does he protect the poor immigrants from the mean rich people.
It's a very simple story that is stretched so thin that I can understand where the complaints stem. There is so much in this film that could be cut. It's 216 minutes. The theater edit was 149. I can probably see that working out to a point. A lot of the dead air and overlong, pointless stuff does build the world and the characters, give us a point-counterpoint. But at the same time, those scenes are still too long.
It all builds to a finale that is pretty much what you'd expect. Two groups clash in a confusing mess of an action sequence. The payoff isn't all that satisfying for as much time as you've invested.
What that leaves is a movie with a lot of faults but a lot of wonderful ideas and a vision that could have been carried out more succinctly and entertainingly by a different director. Coppola released Apocalypse Now around this time and that movie was justified in its length. It had enough substance and even the more filler-y scenes were at least playing to that idea of going down the rabbit hole. Heaven's Gate is good, but it's not the kind of movie that needs as much time to simmer on the hotplate. The characters aren't three-dimensional enough and the story isn't deep enough to justify itself. - DirectorWoo-Ping YuenStarsWenzhuo ZhaoXun ZhouAndy OnChina, 1861: After rescuing the Qing prince from rebels, General Su retires to start a martial arts school. His foster brother betrays him and Su barely survives. Su has a new enemy to defeat.One of the hardest parts of being a fan of martial arts cinema is that reviews for Asian cinema are so hard to trust more so than with US releases. Some movies are darlings no matter who you are, but so many are given poor scores when I find them to be entertaining (Protector 2) or great scores when I think they're absolute trash (Flashpoint). This movie has pretty middling scores and I was shocked at first because I found True Legend to be totally entertaining. It's a generic revenge on my father's killer plot with comic book level silliness and some absolutely fantastic fight sequences (something I rarely say about the CG/wirework dependent stuff like this). I was totally into it and the final fight between the hero and villain was inventive and exciting as hell.
But then, because the movie is only eighty minutes by the end of that fight, they tack on a second act that makes no sense whatsoever and drags the movie down. We go from a Five Venoms style action movie to a Drunken Master style film. The transition is extremely awkward and nonsensical and the plot lines of the two acts barely connect enough to make sense as a fluent film. David Carradine shows up to throw baddies at our hero...that was cool. Otherwise the entire final act is pretty poorly executed aside from a bar fight. Like, I felt really bizarre because the fight between father killer and hero man was an amazing finish to a film but instead it's the halfway point and the actual final fight is like something from a completely different and much more unappetizing movie.
So I'm totally conflicted on this one. The first act is fantastic fun with schlocky terrible CG, a dumb storyline, but some great fight sequences. I guess if you shut it off as the second act begins, you have a quick and fun little movie well worth your time. - DirectorJean-François RichetStarsMel GibsonErin MoriartyDiego LunaAn ex-con reunites with his estranged wayward 17-year old daughter to protect her from drug dealers who are trying to kill her.Mel Gibson gives a killer performance in this cheap, short movie about a convict who protects his daughter from the cartel. It's one of those gritty brown movies like Hell or High Water and Sicario that are becoming the norm for crime films. I'm okay with it, I kind of like that we've graduated from slick and tasteful to down and dirty. While the movie itself is pretty basic and slumps in the middle, the handful of action sequences are extremely entertaining, peppered with wonderful humor from Gibson's character. If you're a fan of Gibson, you'll really enjoy this one. Otherwise, it's a pretty middling affair.
- DirectorJohn HughesStarsMolly RingwaldAnthony Michael HallJustin HenryA girl's "sweet" sixteenth birthday is anything but special: her family forgets about it, and she suffers from every embarrassment possible.Classic John Hughes teen comedy romance whatever. The comedy is really solid and I enjoyed the over-the-top depictions of certain high school archetypes. Nonetheless, the central romance is surprisingly shallow and the only really lasting impression the movie has on me is Long Duk Dong's few scenes being hilarious. Not at all a bad movie but I felt it was entirely unfocused and didn't have much emotional middle ground unlike the thousandfold better Breakfast Club.
- DirectorZoltan KordaStarsHumphrey BogartBruce BennettJ. Carrol NaishAfter the fall of Tobruk in 1942, during the Allied retreat in the Libyan desert, an American tank picks-up a motley group of survivors but they face advancing Germans and a lack of water.I don't know how I end up watching all these old movies. Guess I'm a secret grandpa. A solid World War 2 film about a tank crew trying to survive in the desert, taking a last stand against a hoard of thirsty Nazis. While I don't feel it's particularly memorable in any way, there have been much better war movies since, it's still a fun romp with likeable characters and some pretty exciting action sequences for a movie of its age. Bogart is wonderful as usual. Not my usual cup of tea but a good way to spend an hour and a half.
- DirectorJohn HustonStarsHumphrey BogartWalter HustonTim HoltTwo down-on-their-luck Americans searching for work in 1920s Mexico convince an old prospector to help them mine for gold in the Sierra Madre Mountains.Another great performance by Bogart in a movie I think is good but not nearly memorable enough for me to see it for the classic others do. The character arc of Bogart as a hobo turned gold digger who becomes corrupted by greed and has a pretty chilling scene later on that was fairly dark for a movie of the time, is wonderfully done. But the rest of the movie is pretty much what you'd expect of this sort of story. Get rich quick scheme, everything's hunky-dory, they get the gold, everyone starts to become a little wary of each other as greed sets in, things fall apart, no one walks away with anything. Well shot, well acted, and a fun diversion but not a particularly memorable movie otherwise.
- DirectorMartin ScorseseStarsRobert De NiroCathy MoriartyJoe PesciThe life of boxer Jake LaMotta, whose violence and temper that led him to the top in the ring destroyed his life outside of it.The anti-Rocky, a story about a boxer in the 1940's into the 50's who is pretty much the worst human being imaginable. He's quick to violence, foul-mouthed, a cheater, beats his wife. He's a good boxer but the movie focuses more so on his character outside the ring than inside, showing his family dynamic and this brutally dark and vicious world where he can do nothing right and is beating up on himself when he realizes what a fool he is. The choice to do the film in black and white is interesting and feels justified, it gives the movie an even more gritty, dirty, and dark feel than it would have had in color. I don't think it's Scorsese's best picture and I don't know that I loved it, but the performances were wonderful and I liked the tone. But as a complete movie I didn't think it was entirely compelling. Still good though.
- DirectorRichard W. HainesLloyd KaufmanStarsJanelle BradyGil BrentonRobert PrichardThe pupils at a high school next to a nuclear power plant start acting and looking strange after buying contaminated drugs from a plant worker.In the annals of Troma films there are good (Toxie 1, 4, Poultrygeist), there are bad (Sgt. Kabukiman), and there's the middle ground that is Class of Nuke 'Em High. What could have been rife with parody of the high school films of the eighties becomes a celebration of those tropes early on, focusing on the cartoony aspects while staying away from any sort of smart comedy (aside from a joke about going to a Fellini festival which was hilarious given how out of place a high brow reference like that is). As the film goes along it, thankfully, picks up speed and gives us some gratuitous gore and violence, culminating in a big nuclear monster showdown that's as low-budget and stupid as it is entertaining. I mean, you go to Troma movies for the schlock and this one provides quite a bit, though feels a little too boring and safe at times.
- DirectorEric LouzilStarsBrick BronskyLisa GayeLeesa RowlandWhen school reporter Roger Smith meets a beautiful subhumanoid named Victoria, they fall in love but becomes determined to save her and the new school from a giant mutant squirrel, Tromie.The first Class of Nuke 'Em High was pretty par for the course and average for a Troma movie. This is somewhat the same. Opening with a lot of promise and then fizzling out in the middle before giving us a weak cliffhanger ending, the movie is only propelled by an occasional good joke (and a lot of bad ones), a couple cheesy but hilarious effects, and the wonderfully corny performance of Brick Bronsky who is wonderful as the main lead. Otherwise, if you've seen Troma movies before you'll know what to expect and probably be kind of bored, if you haven't there are much better entries in the Tromaville library to shock and awe you.