2015-16 Don't Bother Dramas...
Movie or TV drama with either copy-cat premises, bad writing/directing/acting, mugging that's supposed to be comedy, or is just embarrassingly inane... all, in my, ahem, humble opinion, a criminal waste of time.
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- DirectorShane BlackStarsMax MartiniRyan KwantenYvonne StrahovskiA televised adaptation of the 'Edge' book series by George G. Gilman.The seriously talented cast could not overcome the seriously bad writing & directing...
- StarsWilmer CalderonErick ChavarriaAmaris DupreeThe leader of the Diaz cartel goes missing, his troubled son Jerry takes charge and as he changes the way his father did business a DEA agent works to bring down the cartel not knowing what he got himself into.It thinks it's funny.
- CreatorJohn FoxJohn RogersStarsPhilip WinchesterDamon GuptonWesley SnipesA former intelligence and FBI officer, who now works as a security expert in Las Vegas, is recruited by mysterious pit boss Mr. Johnson to, based on his tips, try to prevent crimes, while the rich place bets on his chances of success.I loved Philip Winchester in Strike Back but Wesley Snipes is such a cliché of himself that, at first, I actually thought it was a comedy...
- CreatorJoshua SafranStarsPriyanka Chopra JonasJake McLaughlinJohanna BraddyA look at the lives of young FBI recruits training at the Quantico base in Virginia when one of them is suspected of being a sleeper terrorist.Yet another network UNoriginal FBI show with gorgeous buff 20-somethings running around thinking they're doing something to save the world... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
- CreatorMartin GeroStarsSullivan StapletonJaimie AlexanderAudrey EsparzaJane Doe is found in Times Square with no memory and mysterious tattoos on her body.Another me-too replica premise but I'm a fan of Sullivan Stapleton from Strike Back and his appearances in some good Aussie dramas like Underbelly so no complaints there. If Jaimie Alexander finds a way to overcome typecasting because of her stunning beauty, she's actually a decent actress.
- CreatorTodd HarthanStarsMorris ChestnutJaina Lee OrtizGabrielle DennisMiami pathologist Dr. Beaumont Rosewood, Jr. finds secrets in people's bodies using his state-of-the-art laboratory equipment.CSI Miami only Horatio's a gorgeous black pathologist we're supposed to feel sorry for because, despite being a serious hunk, he's really dying...
- CreatorCraig SweenyStarsJake McDormanJennifer CarpenterHill HarperAn average 28-year-old man who gains the ability to use the full extent of his brain's capabilities is hired by the F.B.I. as a consultant.So limited....
- StarsChristina RicciClea DuVallCole HauserFictionalized account of actual events and people surrounding Lizzie Andrew Borden after her controversial acquittal of the double murder of her father and stepmother in 1892.You'd think by now, Christina Ricci would have found another character to play...
- StarsDamon RunyanIan MatthewsAri CohenA gritty fact based drama series that tells the astonishing story of a drug dealer who was arrested then given a desperate ultimatum: serve over 20 years in jail, or go undercover inside one of America's most notorious biker gangs. Charles Falco opted to go undercover and for the next three years he led a crazy and dangerous life infiltrating the Vagos motorcycle gang, collecting evidence while faced with the constant risk that he might be discovered and become one of the gang's victims. Each episode unfolds a different step in Falco's covert investigation into their illegal activities, while across the series, the drama builds as carefully constructed character arcs unfold bitter personal rivalries. These tensions finally erupt when the gang's Vice President is killed in a motorcycle accident, unleashing a chain of unforeseen consequences that ultimately tear the gang apart. With suspicions about Falco's true identity mounting, the operation threatens to unravel, leading to a tense and dramatic conclusion. Drawing on the wealth of material from Falco's time under cover, along with broader documented historical research of inter gang rivalry, this series dramatically captures the reality of outlaw biker counter culture: a world where freedom is equated with the right to carry guns and trade drugs with impunity, and respect can be earned through fear... following the conclusion of his undercover operation with the Vagos, the reformed Falco goes into witness protection... but hooked on the adrenaline rush of undercover work he volunteers to go undercover inside not just one, but two more biker gangs...I wanted to like this and it had potential, but serious bikers just laughed at it...
- CreatorGuillermo del ToroChuck HoganStarsCorey StollDavid BradleyKevin DurandA mysterious viral outbreak with hallmarks of an ancient and evil strain of vampirism ravages the city of New York.TWD meets Alien meets Falling Skies meets Lost meets...
- CreatorJosh AppelbaumAndré NemecJeff PinknerStarsJames WolkKristen ConnollyNonso AnozieA team comes together and searches to find out what's causing a rash of violent animal attacks.I actually wondered if they'd pull off this premise, but it continued to be so spectacularly ridiculous that I couldn't stop laughing where I wasn't supposed to. (However, it was worth it just to see Nonso Anozie...)
- CreatorRodes FishburneJosh PateStarsDon JohnsonChace CrawfordRebecca RittenhouseA young married couple of newcomers looks to cash in on the modern-day oil boom in North Dakota and becomes involved with sly local oil baron, Hap Briggs, and his troubled family.An old greedy bastard teaches young greedy bastards how to be greedy bastards while the women think they're in an episode of Dallas that's probably just shooting in North Dakota...
- CreatorSteven KaneHank SteinbergStarsEric DaneAdam BaldwinCharles ParnellThe crew of a naval destroyer is forced to confront the reality of a new existence when a pandemic kills off most of the earth's population.Soooo unremarkable... Last Resort it was not. But it tried...
- StarsEric DaneKathleen RobertsonAndrew AirlieAfter a devastating accident involving a freighter and an oil rig, NAIA Investigator Ellie Molaro is approached by an enigmatic man named Carter, who claims the event was planned, and part of a massive country wide conspiracy.Your run-of-the-mill investigation show, but watch it for Kathleen Robertson who has real talent and presence. She caught my attention in Boss and Murder in the First and if she finds the right vehicle, she'll be big.
- CreatorSoo HughStarsLily RabeBarry SloaneMilo VentimigliaAn unseen force is manipulating society's most innocent--our children--to act in favor of its cause. As the kids unwittingly help this unknown enemy, the clock counts down in this suspenseful race to save humanity.Pretty ridiculous premise that they don't pull off. The kids were good, though.
- CreatorChad HodgeStarsSiobhan Fallon HoganToby JonesShannyn SossamonA Secret Service agent goes to Wayward Pines, Idaho in search of two federal agents who have gone missing in the bucolic town. He soon learns that he might never get out of Wayward Pines alive.Yet another post-apocalyptic replica ... Matt Dillon must have wanted his own TV show like his other brat-pack contemporaries, (Kevin Bacon, Kiefer, Dennis Quaid, James Spader...)
- DirectorMark OsborneStarsJeff BridgesMackenzie FoyRachel McAdamsA little girl lives in a very grown-up world with her mother, who tries to prepare her for it. Her neighbor, the Aviator, introduces the girl to an extraordinary world where anything is possible, the world of the Little Prince.What hubris does it take to rewrite a perfect story? And miss the most important parts... If you're a fan of the book, spare yourself the reduction of 'spectacular' into 'mediocre'.
- StarsMike VogelOsy IkhileDaisy BettsAfter peaceful aliens invade Earth, humanity finds itself living in a utopia under the indirect rule of the aliens, but does this utopia come at a price?Symbolism that doesn't quite fit the premise. Seems like an idea that died by committee. By episode 3, it's barely got a pulse. Bears no resemblance to the book.
- CreatorChris HaddockStarsAndrew AirlieJuan RiedingerEugene LipinskiLies, corruption, murder - welcome to the world of The Romeo Section where spies are recruited to seduce for secrets.Stephanie Bennett's performance is so over-the-top and annoying that I could not get past it to take in the rest of the show.
- StarsAdeel AkhtarDanny AshokMona GoodwinWhen the residents of an affluent London street receive a strange note they dismiss it as a marketing campaign, until things begin to escalate.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
- DirectorAlejandro AmenábarStarsEthan HawkeDavid ThewlisEmma WatsonA detective and a psychoanalyst uncover evidence of a satanic cult while investigating a young woman's terrifying past.
- DirectorAngelina JolieStarsBrad PittAngelina JolieMélanie LaurentA couple tries to repair their marriage while staying at a hotel in France.Written, directed, starring Angelina Jolie and she lets Brad have a part too. Slow & spectacularly self-indulgent.
- DirectorYorgos LanthimosStarsColin FarrellRachel WeiszJessica BardenIn a dystopian near future, according to the laws of The City, single people are taken to The Hotel, where they are obliged to find a romantic partner in 45 days or they're transformed into beasts and sent off into The Woods.I realize that Yorgos Lanthimos is the current darling of film literati, but I found this film to be deeply cynical in its statement about human nature and self-conscious in its quest for stylistic 'originality'. Rachel Weisz & Colin Farrell were the only bright lights.
- DirectorSteven C. MillerStarsBruce WillisKellan LutzGina CaranoA former CIA operative is kidnapped by a group of terrorists. When his son learns there is no plan for his father to be saved, he launches his own rescue operation.Like a bad episode of The Unit.
- DirectorOlivier AssayasStarsJuliette BinocheKristen StewartChloë Grace MoretzA film star comes face-to-face with an uncomfortable reflection of herself while starring in a revival of the play that launched her career.Who cares?
- DirectorBrett HaleyStarsBlythe DannerMartin StarrSam ElliottA widow and former songstress discovers that life can begin anew at any age.Really misses the mark...
- CreatorScott AlexanderLarry KaraszewskiSarah BurgessStarsSarah PaulsonAnnaleigh AshfordSterling K. BrownAn anthology series centered around America's most notorious crimes and criminals.All the subtlety of a two-by-four. Horrible acting, writing, directing. Almost as disgusting and offensive as the original trial. Fodder for Kardashian-trailer trash.
- DirectorTerrence MalickStarsChristian BaleCate BlanchettNatalie PortmanA writer indulging in all that Los Angeles and Las Vegas have to offer, undertakes a search for love and self via a series of adventures with six different women.Stream of consciousness, I guess... Comes off as a self-indulgent work of narcissism. Not my cuppa.
- CreatorPeter MatteiStarsDavid MorseRyan HurstKyle GallnerA story of struggle for power set in the rugged and mysterious hills of Appalachia.So unrealistic on so many levels from the characterizations which are over-blown stereotypes to the ridiculous details to the tired plot lines... the acting is decent but it won't save this train wreck.
- DirectorRupert WyattStarsMark WahlbergJessica LangeJohn GoodmanLiterature professor and gambler Jim Bennett's debt causes him to borrow money from his mother and a loan shark. Further complicating his situation, is his relationship with one of his students. Will Bennett risk his life for a second chance?This was a tough one to put on this list because it was slick and well-acted and it kept my interest. BUT... it romanticized everything about addiction that, in reality, is lethal. And it never redeems itself. Rather, it was more of a demonstration of sheer ignorance. The original with James Caan was far more believable and powerful. I love you, Markie, but you blew an opportunity to make a great film. But, hey, it's not a total waste of time.
- DirectorJ.C. ChandorStarsOscar IsaacJessica ChastainDavid OyelowoIn New York City 1981, an ambitious immigrant fights to protect his business and family during the most dangerous year in the city's history.
- DirectorKim FarrantStarsNicole KidmanJoseph FiennesHugo WeavingA family's dull life in a rural outback town is rocked after their two teenage children disappear into the desert, sparking disturbing rumors of their past.What were Fiennes & Kidman thinking?!
- DirectorBilly RayStarsChiwetel EjioforNicole KidmanJulia RobertsA tight-knit team of rising investigators, along with their supervisor, is suddenly torn apart when they discover that one of their own teenage daughters has been brutally murdered.“ I don't understand why anyone would re-make a masterpiece. The original won an Oscar in 2010 for Best Foreign Language Film among its many awards. That said, even if you have NOT seen the original, this is a lower than average mystery. Do not let it steer you away from the original 2009 film, THE Secret in Their Eyes or El Secreto de sus Ojos.
- DirectorJason ZadaStarsNatalie DormerEoin MackenStephanie VogtA young woman's desperate search for her twin sister brings her to a ghost-filled stretch of wilderness known as the 'Suicide Forest.'
- CreatorRich CohenMick JaggerMartin ScorseseStarsBobby CannavalePaul Ben-VictorP.J. ByrneRichie Finestra, a shrewd record executive from New York, tries to promote American Century, his music label, amidst the changing music scene in the 1970s.Just because this was conceived by Mick Jagger and Martin Scorsese doesn't guarantee greatness. This is a dead dog. I wanted to love this series. Instead, I was more than disappointed, I was disgusted with how it relied on cheap clichés and stereotypes instead of real historic drama. The music as well is a huge disappointment unless you're fond of head-banger heavy metal, HARDLY representative of the original, brilliant music being produced during the early to mid 70's.
Sadly, Vinyl ends up being a self-indulgent in-joke by a few old farts who are now so removed from the public that they've squandered the instinct which once made them great. If you doubt me, just read the user reviews posted on its IMDb page. Too bad, it had such potential. - DirectorJohn HillcoatStarsCasey AffleckChiwetel EjioforAnthony MackieA gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan the murder of a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet across town.Some heavy hitter acting couldn't save this flick that seemed to have no point except to exploit violence. If you do see it, I bet you won't recognize Kate Winslet. She, Harrelson, Casey Affleck, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Aaron Paul all get A's for their performances.
- DirectorStephen HopkinsStarsStephan JamesJason SudeikisEli GoreeJesse Owens' quest to become the greatest track and field athlete in history thrusts him onto the world stage of the 1936 Olympics, where he faces off against Adolf Hitler's vision of Aryan supremacy.Unfortunately, this film gets put on this list for two reasons: firstly, it's historically inaccurate: Owens put up with much more racism from the US (most notably when FDR snubbed him after Berlin). Secondly, it throws away opportunities for the REAL drama, lazily reworking tired cliches. It's "Rah-rah USA! Ain't we great for letting a black man run..." In fact, the real story is deliciously dangerous and far more sensational.
- CreatorRyan GriffenJon BellJonathan GavinStarsHunter Page-LochardRob CollinsTasma WaltonIn the very near future, creatures from ancient mythology must live among humans and battle for survival in a world that wants to silence, exploit, and destroy them.