Movies I Saw on B-Movie TV
I saw all these on the Roku channel B-Movie TV.
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- DirectorLamberto BavaStarsUrbano BarberiniNatasha HoveyKarl ZinnyA group of random people are invited to a screening of a mysterious movie, only to find themselves trapped in the theater with ravenous demons.Pretty scary Italian demon-possession flick. Would've been scarier in the theater because it was so meta.
- DirectorH. Tjut DjalilStarsBarbara Anne ConstableChristopher J. HartClaudia Angelique RademakerThe spirit of an ancient evil queen possesses the body of a young anthropological student, who then goes on a murderous rampage.Freaking epic, man. Experience it, love it, live it.
- DirectorRené Cardona Jr.StarsAnjanette ComerHugo StiglitzZulma FaiadA wealthy playboy kidnaps and murders young women, feeding their corpses to his horde of felines.SO BORING. 1 star for the movie, and 1 star for Gorgo or whatever his name was. He had the best scene in the whole thing.
- DirectorNorman J. WarrenStarsJohn NolanCarolyn CourageJames AubreyThe descendants of a witch hunting family and their close friends are stalked and killed by a mysterious entity.I think this is the one where the British people are in the haunted house. Pretty cool.
- DirectorBruno MatteiClaudio FragassoStarsMargie NewtonFranco GarofaloSelan KarayAfter an experiment gone wrong, a virus that turns people into zombies spreads throughout New Guinea. A female reporter and her cameraman, and a team of four commandos sent to investigate try to survive the onslaught.Somewhat entertaining Italian zombie flick.
- DirectorS.F. BrownriggStarsBill McGheeJessie Lee FultonRobert DracupA young psychiatric nurse goes to work at a remote asylum following a murder. There, she experiences varying degrees of torment from the patients.Seen under the title "Don't Look in the Basement". I'd seen it before, and it pretty much rocked.
- DirectorMarc B. RayStarsFred HolbertLeigh MitchellRobert KnoxA deranged kid murders his father and has his arm crushed by the farm tractor. After being discharged from the mental hospital with an amputee, he discovers that his mother has remarried, prompting him to go on a homicidal rampage.Hook-handed borderline-retarded psycho kills a good number of people. I was only sorta paying attention.
- DirectorSergio MartinoStarsMichael SopkiwValentine MonnierGeorge EastmanAfter a nuclear war, society breaks down into two groups, the evil Euraks and the rebel Federation. A mercenary named Parsifal is hired by the Federation to infiltrate New York City, which is controlled by the Euraks, to rescue the only fertile woman left on Earth.Missed the first part, but I actually ended up enjoying this little "Escape from New York"-esque movie. Would watch again.
- DirectorSergio MartinoStarsUrsula AndressStacy KeachClaudio CassinelliA woman and her brother fly to New Guinea to look for a lost expedition, led by her husband, which has vanished in the jungle.I regret watching this. Most of it was scenes of animals eating each other, and it was really gross. Cannibals didn't come in until much later. Never again.
- DirectorDonald G. JacksonStarsSuzanne SolariJeff HutchinsonShaun MichelleIn a futuristic society, rebels fighting against a fascist state are aided by a group of roller-skating nuns called the Bod Sisters.Sat through the first hour or so twice. Entertaining in its own way; very cheap and very 80's. Long live the Cosmic Order of the Smiley Face, I mean Roller Blade. Woman in roller skates in a wheelchair = priceless. Dubbed from English into English. Major chase scenes all involve shopping cars rather than cars.
- DirectorAlbert PyunStarsKathy LongKris KristoffersonLance HenriksenIn the future, a kickboxer and a robot lead a revolution against ruling cyborgs.One of my favorite B-Movies on here. Vampire cyborgs and a female kickboxer who kicks stuff in the face for the last hour. I would have liked a sequel.
- DirectorRoy RosenbergStarsSusan LeeStella JoneLaura Sode-MattesonA group of women in a prison rise up and revolt against their savage jailers.Reform school flick with an Asian lady in blackface. Not something you see every day, that's for sure.
- DirectorKrishna ShahStarsE.J. CurseGeno AndrewsSam MannA freshly-out-of-the-grave band of Hard Rock Zombies is thirsting to take their sweet revenge, as they give the performance of a lifetime.No wurchin is safe from Zombie Hitler! Good soundtrack too.
- DirectorIshirô HondaStarsAkira KuboKumi MizunoHiroshi KoizumiShipwrecked survivors slowly transform into mushrooms.My cousin and I MST3Ked our way through this film. It was very slow, but creepy. And there was that hilarious dude who wore his sunglasses ALL the time.
- DirectorTom DeSimoneStarsLinda CarolWendy O. WilliamsPat AstA new group of girls arrives at Pridemore Juvenile Facility, where the brutal warden plays favoritism with a few, and treats the rest like animals. But one girl is not taking this horrible treatment lying down.TOTALLY kickin' soundtrack. I liked it.
- DirectorNoboru IguchiStarsMinase YashiroAsamiNobuhiro NishiharaMaimed while seeking revenge, a girl becomes stronger than ever.I'd seen this before, but never dubbed into English. That made it even funnier. Still great! DRILL BRA
- DirectorEnzo G. CastellariStarsGiancarlo PreteFred WilliamsonGeorge EastmanTwo mercenaries help wandering caravans fight off an evil and aimless band of white-clad bikers after the nuclear holocaust.Cool Road Warrior ripoff where a guy named Scorpion drives a car with a plexiglass dome on it, then teams up with a blaxploitation action hero who shoots exploding arrows and a child ace-mechanic. They all fight a bunch of evil queers who want to kill everyone on earth. Notably, it contains a gay rape scene.
- DirectorAmando de OssorioStarsTony KendallFernando SanchoEsperanza RoyIn this second startling film in the BLIND DEAD series, writer/director Amando de Ossorio returns to the horrific origin of the depraved Templar:This movie is a riot! I was laughing and yelling at the TV and acting it out for my family. Blind zombie knights versus stupid people.
- DirectorSiu-Tung ChingStarsAnyaMarit ThoresenMaggie QMadame M, kidnaps forty pre-teen girls to train them as the most deadly assassins. CIA operative follows the case for 6 years with no leads, but when a series of assassinations begin to occur, he suspects that Madame M is back in business.This movie kicked serious ass. A little La Femme Nikita vibe, a lot of martial arts, some wirework... I'd friggin' buy this one if I saw it at the store.
- DirectorWilliam FruetStarsKay HawtreyLesleh DonaldsonBarry MorseA young woman arrives at her grandmother's house, which used to be a funeral home, to help her turn the place into a bed-and-breakfast inn. After they open, however, guests begin disappearing or turning up dead.Sorta watched it. It was cool, and the surprise end was creepy.
- DirectorDavid WintersNeal SundstromStarsReb BrownJohn Phillip LawJames RyanA pilot is the only hope to stop the mutiny of a spacecraft by its security crew, who plot to sell the crew of the ship into slavery.Saw part of it on B-Movie TV, then watched the MST3K version. Only halfway paid attention.
- DirectorTheodore GershunyStarsPatrick O'NealJames PattersonMary WoronovA man inherits a mansion which once was a mental home. He visits the place and begins to investigate some crimes that happened in old times, scaring the people living in the region.What's Christmas without insanity, incest, and murder? The 70's were dark times.
- DirectorMatt CimberStarsLaurene LandonCihangir GaffariMaría CasalBorn in a tribe of fierce warrior women, the archer and sword fighter, Hundra, has been raised to despise the influence of men. Superior to any male, Hundra takes a vow of revenge until one day she finds love.Warrior Woman fights the PATRIARCHY but must reluctantly use them to have babies. Before all that, a midget on a miniature horse stabs her in the leg with a pitchfork.
- DirectorBitto AlbertiniLuigi CozziStarsSherry BuchananFausto Di BellaDon PowellThe crew of a space ship confronts an evil galactic ruler out to rule the universe.Space CHEESE where two "aliens" escape from Evil Overlord Tinselbeard and land in a futuristic hippie commune on earth. Once there, they learn what water and sex are. So much "Starcrash" footage that you'll think it's "Starcrash 2"... which incidentally is how they marketed it in Spain. It was pretty funny.
- CreatorKen IshikawaGô NagaiStarsAkira KamiyaKen'ichi OgataRihoko YoshidaSoon after the events of the first Getta Robo series, Earth finds itself under attack by the Hyakki (Pandemonium) Empire and its fleet of horned battle robots. In response to the threat, the Getta labs re-fit their chief weapon: three advanced jets, capable of merging into three distinct robots. These are Getta Dragun (Star Dragon) the most powerful and oft-used formation; Getta Rygar (Star Arrow) designed for speed and aerial combat; and Getta Poseidon (Star Poseidon) built for strength and aquatic battle.I believe I saw the first 5 episodes of this dubbed, stitched into a movie and released on video in the early 80's. A brainchild of Go Nagai, Cutey Honey's creator. I was bored, except for the parts with Lt. Fuhuer aka "Space Devil Hitler" in them.
- DirectorAmando de OssorioStarsJulián MateosMarián SalgadoFernando SanchoA young girl becomes possessed by a woman from a witches cult, who seeks vengeance, terror, and confusion around her family and the town folks.Seen under the title "Demon Witch Child". Contains a scene where a woman is not pleased by receiving a dick in a box.
- DirectorCorey YuenStarsKurt McKinneyJean-Claude Van DammeJ.W. FailsJason, a Bruce Lee fan, sees his karate instructor/dad beaten by martial art thugs. They move to Seattle where, after humiliations, he trains with Bruce Lee's ghost so he can defend himself and others against thugs.Usually I don't watch the martial arts films, but I saw this one and liked it. Kind of an 80's feel-good one, where the ghost of Bruce Lee trains a semi-loser to defeat his enemy Jean-Claude Van Damme. Fight choreography by Corey Yuen.
- DirectorDavid A. PriorStarsDavid CarradineRobert TessierAnna RapagnaIn the future, a cop protects a reporter from crooked, renegade cops who think she knows too much about them."Watched" while playing Pokemon Picross. David Carradine and his remote-controlled robot arm rescue a female reporter to an extremely 80's soundtrack. I liked the line "You have the right to die", which is good since he probably said it 6-7 times.
- DirectorSteven LisbergerStarsBob PeckMark HamillKitty AldridgeIn the near future, where Earth has been devastated by man's pollution and giant winds rule the planet, bounty hunter Matt kidnaps a murderer out of the hands of two police officers, planning to get the bounty himself.Another one I listened to while playing my Gameboy. Unlike most movies on here, it actually had production values. A really nice musical score, too. "Meh" for interest.
- DirectorWilliam SachsStarsStephen MachtAvery SchreiberJ.D. HintonIn the 31st century, sexy blonde android Galaxina helms the crew of a space cruiser on a mission to find the Blue Star, a mystical gem that holds unlimited power.Barely passable time-waster space spoof. It was funny in parts, and had some memorable lines, but sometimes I was teetering on the verge of boredom. Dorothy Stratten was a very pretty girl, and I was really sad when I heard what happened to her.
- DirectorCarlos AuredStarsPaul NaschyEmma CohenVíctor BarreraIn Medieval France a warlock is be-headed and his wife tortured and executed. Hundreds of years later an isolated group of people discover his head buried on their property. Soon it comes back to life, possessing people and using them to commit sacrifices and to search for the rest of his bodyFun Spanish/Italian gothic horror movie, where there are some sorcerers and witches that just won't stay dead. Gore, witches, scantily-clad women, a disembodied talking head, dubbing, and jump cuts used as special effects... this is why I watch this channel.
- DirectorRino Di SilvestroStarsAnnik BorelHoward RossDagmar LassanderA woman has dreams that she is a werewolf so she goes out and finds men. She proceeds to have sex with them and then rip their throats out with her teeth. She eventually falls in love but then she is raped and her lover is murdered so she goes out for revenge.BORING. Started out kind of cool, because there was a werewolf woman in the beginning, but it just turned into a bunch of sex scenes ending in grisly murders (many of them rape) where a crazy/possessed woman *thought* she was a werewolf. I wanted werewolves, not "I Spit On Your Grave", dammit.
- DirectorBrian Trenchard-SmithStarsNed ManningNatalie McCurryPeter WhitfordIn a dystopian future Australia, a health nut and his tag-along girlfriend become trapped in a drive-in cinema that has become a concentration camp for delinquent youths and immigrants.Good, albeit not as good as I was hoping.
- DirectorCirio H. SantiagoStarsSteve SandorAndria SavioWilliam OstranderThe world's water supply has dried up due to some sort of apocalypse. A beautiful woman holds the secret to where one of the last springs being guarded by a group of Amazons. A "Road Warrior" like crew captures her and tries to make her talk through brutal torture. The hero (Styrker) unites with some of the remaining "good guys" and the Amazons and frees the woman. They go on to a "Road Warrior" type of concluding battle with the bad guys.A poor man's poor man's Road Warrior ripoff. It was okay, given that I like this kind of stuff already and feel a compulsion to watch it no matter how awful. Some things didn't really make sense, and it wasn't terribly gripping. Heroic army of Jawas—I mean dwarves was amusing. Note: I believe I saw the 4-minute-shorter version that's been released in those DVD sets of crappy movies.
- DirectorLarry YustStarsOlive DunbarWilliam 'Billy' BenedictWilliam FawcettAn adaptation of Shirley Jackson's short story of the same name, "The Lottery" tells the story of a shocking annual tradition in a small village.Not bad at all. If I remember correctly, it's nearly exactly the same as the short story.
- DirectorAbel FerraraStarsAbel FerraraCarolyn MarzBaybi DayAn artist slowly goes insane while struggling to pay his bills, work on his paintings, and care for his two female roommates, which leads him taking to the streets of New York after dark and randomly killing derelicts with a power drill.
- DirectorLeón KlimovskyStarsPaul NaschyGaby FuchsBarbara CapellElvira and her friend Genevieve travel through the French countryside in search of the lost grave of a medieval vampire, Countess Wandesa.Ah, good ol' dubbed public domain movies. This was actually a little creepy, with the vampire women all shot in slow-mo. Of course, they had comically large fangs. And if you liked "Horror Rises from the Tomb" and "Return of the Evil Dead" and a bunch of the Italian / Spanish Barbara Steele movies, they use several off the same actresses.
- DirectorBert L. DraginStarsChuck ConnorsCharlie StrattonHarold PruettA group of campers revolt against their strict camp director and take over the camp for themselves.Eh, not that good. Not really a horror movie. A truly outrageous surprise: Samantha Newark, the voice of Jem, was in it! Her only real film role.
- DirectorDavid AcombaStarsScott GrimesJohn AstinCheryl PollakArchie is a "brain" at a small town high school who works part-time at his uncle's mortuary and is harassed by a few of the popular kids because of it. His harassers die in an automobile accident, and the bodies are taken to his uncle's mortuary. Archie is pulling a late night at the mortuary when he sees a storm brewing. Lighting strikes! They're alive! The preppie bullies continue to torment him - as zombies.If zombies have sex with each other, is it necrophilia? What about if a zombie solicits you? Anyway, I saw this in the middle of the friggin' night and couldn't finish it until the next day. It was pretty funny actually, especially the final scene.
- DirectorEddie NicartStarsWeng WengRomy DiazNina SaraWeng Weng is now working for the Manila branch of Interpol. The Chief sends him in the pursuit of Mr X, an arch villian with a white sock on his head, who is holding the Philippines to ransom. Two businessmen, Maolo and Simeon, pay the demands but Weng Weng suspects foul play and goes deep undercover to reveal the identity of Mr X.Midget James Bond! Friggin' hilarious.
- DirectorJag MundhraStarsJoseph BottomsAdrienne BarbeauRudy RamosSomeone is killing off nubile real estate agents. A psychologist doing a therapy talk show begins getting calls from the perpetrator, and cooperates with the police to try and stop him. Unfortunately, his lover is a real estate agent, and when it becomes clear that the madman is getting information for his kills from her discarded home listings, they both become endangered.Boring. Disgruntled homeless man kills people because he can't afford a house. Also, you see Adrienne Barbeau's tits.
- DirectorDonald G. JacksonStarsKathleen KinmontJohn DamonElizabeth KaitanIn the future, a warrior nun on roller skates must rescue a seer, who is to be sacrificed by a band of mutants.This is better than the first one... which is faint praise. Much funnier, and that stupid puppet isn't back.