Totally Rotten Musicals, Dude!
Which of these nightmarishly terrible musicals* brings you the most dread?
Let's commiserate in tone deaf terms how much these musicals make our collective ears bleed ... over here.
(*Musicals from 1970 to 1999 with IMDb average rating no higher than 5.9)
Let's commiserate in tone deaf terms how much these musicals make our collective ears bleed ... over here.
(*Musicals from 1970 to 1999 with IMDb average rating no higher than 5.9)
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- DirectorRod AmateauStarsAnthony NewleyMackenzie AstinPhil FondacaroDodger must confront the struggles of life as he is visited by the Garbage Pail Kids and intimidated by some older bullies.
- DirectorKen HughesStarsMae WestTimothy DaltonDom DeLuiseOn the day of her wedding to her sixth husband, a glamorous silver screen sex symbol is asked to intervene in a political dispute between nations, which leads to chaos.
- DirectorBruce KimmelStarsCindy WilliamsBruce KimmelLeslie NielsenWhen the spaceship Vertigo stops to explore a previously unknown planet, the crew finds an unrecognized dollop of protoplasm and takes it aboard ship to return it to earth for analysis. On board, lifeform expands into an oozing person-eating monster which communicates primarily by means of a Vegas lounge act. The crew is gobbled up one after another until the two surviving crewmembers come up with a plan.
- DirectorFranklin J. SchaffnerStarsLuciano PavarottiKathryn HarroldEddie AlbertFamous opera singer Giorgio Fini loses his voice during an American tour. He goes to female throat specialist Pamela Taylor and falls in love with her.So? Pavoratti has two Razzie nominations from being in this film?
- DirectorMichael SchultzStarsPeter FramptonBarry GibbRobin GibbA small-town band hits it big, but it must battle a nefarious plot in the music industry.
- DirectorMenahem GolanStarsCatherine Mary StewartGeorge GilmourGrace KennedyIn 1994, a young couple enters the world of the music industry, and subsequently the world of drugs.
- DirectorPatricia BirchStarsMichelle PfeifferMaxwell CaulfieldLorna LuftA British student at a 1960s American high school must prove himself to the leader of a girls' gang whose members can only date greasers.
- DirectorNancy WalkerStarsRay SimpsonDavid HodoFelipe RoseA pseudo autobiography of disco's The Village People.
- DirectorJohn De BelloStarsDavid MillerGeorge WilsonSharon TaylorA group of scientists band together to save the world from mutated killer tomatoes.
- DirectorSam FirstenbergStarsLucinda DickeyAdolfo QuinonesMichael ChambersA developer tries to bulldoze a community recreation center. The local breakdancers try to stop it.
- DirectorHarry HurwitzStarsDon SparksSy RichardsonIrwin CoreyOn his twenty-first birthday, the Prince goes on a quest that takes him across the land searching for the one woman that gets him sexually excited, Princess Sleeping Beauty.
- DirectorKen AnnakinRichard FranklinStarsKristy McNicholChristopher AtkinsTed HamiltonA 1980s take-off of The Pirates of Penzance which centers on a noble pirate who leaves his profession and falls in love with a fiery young maiden.
- DirectorRobert AltmanStarsRobin WilliamsShelley DuvallRay WalstonThe adventures of the famous sailor man and his friends in the seaside town of Sweethaven.
- DirectorRobert GreenwaldStarsOlivia Newton-JohnGene KellyMichael BeckA struggling artist living in Los Angeles meets a girl who may hold the key to his happiness.
- DirectorJon AcevskiStarsBen KingsleyJenny AgutterDavid AshtonA French prince who was turned into a frog becomes a secret agent and goes to England to stop an evil plot that begins when famous buildings there start disappearing.
- DirectorMark HaggardBruce KimmelStarsStephen NathanCindy WilliamsBruce KimmelThe son of famous studio owner is forced to make porno films to keep the bankrupt studio from being made into a shopping center. In an attempt to get back on the high ground he makes a nudie musical. He makes a bet with the debtors who wish to take ownership of the studio, that if they finance the musical and he can't complete it within two weeks, they can foreclose.
- DirectorJulien TempleStarsGeena DavisJeff GoldblumJim CarreyA Southern California girl befriends three furry aliens after their spaceship lands in her swimming pool.
- DirectorHarold PrinceStarsElizabeth TaylorDiana RiggLen CariouAn actress, her married ex-lover, her current lover's wife and other guests gather at a circa-1900 estate.
- DirectorSidney PoitierStarsJohn Scott CloughDon FranklinTamara MarkEight small-town teens travel to New York City for a one-in-a-million shot at stardom in a national dance competition.
- DirectorGeorge EnglundStarsJohn RubinsteinPatricia QuinnDon JohnsonTwo gunfighters separate and experience surreal visions on their journey through the west.
- DirectorJim SharmanStarsJessica HarperCliff De YoungRichard O'BrienJanet and Brad become contestants on a game show and wind up as captives.The unwanted bastard child of The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)?
- DirectorPhilippe MoraStarsAlan ArkinChristopher LeeKate FitzpatrickDuring WWII, Captain Invincible fought against Nazis using superpowers. Later falsely accused of communism, he retires in Australia. When a secret US weapon gets stolen, he's called back but struggles with alcoholism.
- DirectorLyndall HobbsStarsFrankie AvalonAnnette FunicelloLori LoughlinFrankie and Annette, having grown up and put aside their beach-partying lifestyle, visit their daughter in Southern California and discover there's still some wild times left in them.
- DirectorMichael WinnerStarsJeremy IronsAnthony HopkinsRichard BriersWidower Guy is transferred to an English coastal town, where he joins an amateur operatic society to "meet people" and "have fun".
- DirectorColin HigginsStarsBurt ReynoldsDolly PartonDom DeLuiseA town's Sheriff and regular patron of a historical whorehouse fights to keep it running when a television reporter targets it as the Devil's playhouse.
- DirectorSpike LeeStarsLaurence FishburneGiancarlo EspositoTisha CampbellA not so popular young man wants to pledge to a popular fraternity at his historically black college.
- DirectorSidney LumetStarsDiana RossMichael JacksonNipsey RussellAn adaptation of "The Wizard of Oz" that tries to capture the essence of the African-American experience.
- DirectorRichard WinerBarry MahonStarsJay RipleyShay GarnerPat MorrellWhen Santa's sleigh gets stuck in Florida, he tells a group of kids the story of Thumbelina.
- DirectorNic StanichStarsErin CurtisBen GreeneRobert StephensTwo friends decide to open a coffee shop.ALL OF THE ABOVE! All of the above movies fill me with dread!
- DirectorTerry JonesStarsJohn CleeseTerry GilliamEric IdleThe comedy team takes a look at life in all of its stages in their own uniquely silly way.To paraphrase two British philosophers: All musicals are sacred. None of these musicals are terrible. Each one is a wonderful work of lyrical art in its own fashion.