Movies I Hate
These are the movies I loathe. I've left off films that I merely "don't like" ('cause that would be a very, very long list) and left only those that get me worked up into a furor.
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- DirectorRichard KellyStarsDwayne JohnsonSarah Michelle GellarSeann William ScottDuring a three-day heat wave just before a huge 4th of July celebration, an action star stricken with amnesia meets up with a porn star who is developing her own reality TV project, and a policeman who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.There are many bad movies in the world, but Southland Tales takes it to a whole new level. Even if you read the prequel graphic novels (and I did), you will still have no idea what's going on. Right up until the cop-out ending.
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsEmily BrowningVanessa HudgensAbbie CornishA young girl institutionalized by her abusive stepfather retreats to an alternative reality as a coping strategy and envisions a plan to help her escape.Utter garbage from start to finish.
- DirectorGeorge LucasStarsHayden ChristensenNatalie PortmanEwan McGregorThree years into the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi pursues a new threat, while Anakin Skywalker is lured by Chancellor Palpatine into a sinister plot to rule the galaxy.Yeah, that whole Clone Wars thing? Not important. Just gonna skip it. Oh *beep* how was this trilogy supposed to end?
- DirectorMarcel SarmientoGadi HarelStarsShiloh FernandezNoah SeganCandice KingTwo high school boys discover an imprisoned woman in an abandoned mental asylum who cannot die.
- DirectorTakashi YamazakiStarsTakeshi KaneshiroAnne SuzukiGorô KishitaniA young woman from the future forces a local gunman to help her stop an impending alien invasion which will wipe out the human race.Liberally steals from several major Hollywood movies, and not even very well. Plot and design elements are taken wholesale from the likes of 'E.T.', 'Independence Day', and others. They even used music from Hollywood movies instead of having someone compose something original. It's like nobody even bothered to put in any creative effort.
- DirectorGeorge LucasStarsHayden ChristensenNatalie PortmanEwan McGregorTen years after initially meeting, Anakin Skywalker shares a forbidden romance with Padmé Amidala, while Obi-Wan Kenobi discovers a secret clone army crafted for the Jedi.Plays like bad fan-fiction written by an emo teen.
- DirectorMcGStarsDrew BarrymoreLucy LiuCameron DiazThe Angels investigate a series of murders which occur after the theft of a witness protection profile database.I have never seen three women try so hard, and yet fail so miserably, to be sexy.
- DirectorPete TravisStarsDennis QuaidForest WhitakerMatthew FoxThe attempted assassination of the American President is told and re-told from several different perspectives.
- DirectorWoody AllenStarsScarlett JohanssonHugh JackmanJim DunkAn American journalism student in London scoops a big story, and begins an affair with an aristocrat as the incident unfurls.I went for years making it a point to never stop watching a film once I'd started, no matter how bad it is. This was the film that changed all that.
- DirectorGeorge LucasStarsEwan McGregorLiam NeesonNatalie PortmanTwo Jedi escape a hostile blockade to find allies and come across a young boy who may bring balance to the Force, but the long dormant Sith resurface to claim their original glory.George Lucas brings us back to the magic of the Star Wars universe by making a film containing none of the magic of the Star Wars universe.
- DirectorStephen SommersStarsHugh JackmanKate BeckinsaleRichard RoxburghThe famed monster hunter is sent to Transylvania to stop Count Dracula, who is using Dr. Frankenstein's research and a werewolf for nefarious purposes.Was going for campy action fun, ended up just being ridiculous.
- DirectorTony ScottStarsDenzel WashingtonPaula PattonJim CaviezelAfter a ferry is bombed in New Orleans, an A.T.F. agent joins a unique investigation using experimental surveillance technology to find the bomber, but soon finds himself becoming obsessed with one of the victims.
- DirectorBrett RatnerStarsPatrick StewartHugh JackmanHalle BerryThe human government develops a cure for mutations, and Jean Grey becomes a darker uncontrollable persona called the Phoenix who allies with Magneto, causing escalation into an all-out battle for the X-Men.
- DirectorDavid KelloggStarsMatthew BroderickRupert EverettJoely FisherA security guard's dreams come true when he is selected to be transformed into a cybernetic police officer.
- DirectorRoman PolanskiStarsMia FarrowJohn CassavetesRuth GordonA young couple trying for a baby moves into an aging, ornate apartment building on Central Park West, where they find themselves surrounded by peculiar neighbors.
- DirectorVictor FlemingGeorge CukorSam WoodStarsClark GableVivien LeighThomas MitchellA sheltered and manipulative Southern belle and a roguish profiteer face off in a turbulent romance as the society around them crumbles with the end of slavery and is rebuilt during the Civil War and Reconstruction periods.
- DirectorSam RaimiStarsTobey MaguireKirsten DunstTopher GraceA strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge.
- DirectorMcGStarsChristian BaleSam WorthingtonAnton YelchinIn 2018, a mysterious new weapon in the war against the machines, half-human and half-machine, comes to John Connor on the eve of a resistance attack on Skynet. But whose side is he on, and can he be trusted?
- DirectorGore VerbinskiStarsJohnny DeppOrlando BloomKeira KnightleyCaptain Barbossa, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann must sail off the edge of the map, navigate treachery and betrayal, find Jack Sparrow, and make their final alliances for one last decisive battle.
- DirectorJ.J. AbramsStarsChris PineZachary QuintoZoe SaldanaAfter the crew of the Enterprise find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one-man weapon of mass destruction.
- DirectorGavin HoodStarsHugh JackmanLiev SchreiberRyan ReynoldsThe early years of James Logan, featuring his rivalry with his brother Victor Creed, his service in the special forces team Weapon X, and his experimentation into the metal-lined mutant Wolverine.
- DirectorMarc ForsterStarsDaniel CraigOlga KurylenkoMathieu AmalricJames Bond descends into mystery as he tries to stop an organisation from eliminating a country's most valuable resource.
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsJackie Earle HaleyPatrick WilsonCarla GuginoIn a version of 1985 where superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach on the trail of a conspiracy that will change the course of history.Parts of the movie had potential, but the whole was marred by some poor casting choices and bland direction.
- DirectorChristopher NolanStarsChristian BaleTom HardyAnne HathawayEight years after the Joker's reign of chaos, Batman is coerced out of exile with the assistance of the mysterious Selina Kyle in order to defend Gotham City from the vicious guerrilla terrorist Bane.The plot holes are so big, the story no longer makes sense.
- DirectorPitofStarsHalle BerrySharon StoneBenjamin BrattA shy woman, endowed with the speed, reflexes, and senses of a cat, walks a thin line between criminal and hero, even as a detective doggedly pursues her, fascinated by both of her personas.Not even Halle Berry (or her CGI doppelgänger) slinking around the screen can save this.