Camp Cheese
I'm mostly not into camp. Most low-budget sci-fi or horror films bore me, and I don't much enjoy watching painfully bad movies. But here are a few which manage to be sufficiently interesting while offering some amusingly bad moments to make a good night's entertainment.
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- DirectorD.W. GriffithStarsLillian GishDorothy GishJoseph SchildkrautTwo orphaned sisters are caught up in the turmoil of the French Revolution, encountering misery and love along the way.Don't get me wrong: I've always liked Orphans of the Storm, my favorite D.W. Griffith film. I also think the purple-prose intertitles are hilarious, Gish's overwrought acting amusing (but loveable nonetheless), and then there's that guy with the three-foot cleaver.
- DirectorAlan CroslandStarsAl JolsonMay McAvoyWarner OlandThe son of a Jewish Cantor must defy the traditions of his religious father in order to pursue his dream of becoming a jazz singer.Okay, this might be simply groaningly bad. But I am curious what it could have been that people saw in Al Jolson.
- DirectorJames WhaleStarsColin CliveMae ClarkeBoris KarloffDr Henry Frankenstein is obsessed with assembling a living being from parts of several exhumed corpses.While The Jazz Singer started the transition to sound, Frankenstein was towards the end of the transition. But there are still many silent elements - esp. the mute protagonist - that are campy by the standards of the new medium.
- DirectorFrank CapraStarsRonald ColmanJane WyattEdward Everett HortonWhen a revered diplomat's plane is diverted and crashes in the peaks of Tibet, he and the other survivors are guided to an isolated monastery at Shangri-La, where they wrestle with the invitation to stay.Parts are so bad they might actually be good (not just so-bad-they're-good) because of how bizarre they are.
- DirectorVictor FlemingGeorge CukorSam WoodStarsClark GableVivien LeighThomas MitchellA sheltered and manipulative Southern belle and a roguish profiteer face off in a turbulent romance as the society around them crumbles with the end of slavery and is rebuilt during the Civil War and Reconstruction periods.I straight up enjoy this movie - always have. Doesn't mean there isn't plenty of camp in it - heck, pretty much every one of its famous lines has entered camp territory for me.
- DirectorPaul WendkosStarsSandra DeeJames DarrenCliff RobertsonA young girl discovers surfing and love (in that order) during one transitive summer.Did anyone ever really talk like that?
- DirectorIshirô HondaStarsAkira TakaradaYuriko HoshiHiroshi KoizumiMothra's egg washes ashore and is claimed by greedy entrepreneurs who refuse to return it to her fairies. As Godzilla arises near Nagoya, the people of Infant Island must decide if they are willing to answer Japan's own pleas for help.Two words: tiny twins.
- DirectorFranklin J. SchaffnerStarsCharlton HestonRoddy McDowallKim HunterAn astronaut crew crash-lands on a planet where highly intelligent non-human ape species are dominant and humans are enslaved.I'm beginning to think anything with Charlton Heston in it is good for a snicker or two.
- DirectorRoger VadimStarsJane FondaJohn Phillip LawAnita PallenbergIn the 41st century, an astronaut partakes in sexy misadventures while seeking to stop an evil scientist who threatens to bring evil back into the galaxy.What was Jane Fonda thinking?
- DirectorMichael AndersonStarsMichael YorkJenny AgutterRichard JordanA police officer in the future uncovers the deadly secret behind a society that worships youth.I genuinely liked this as a kid. Can't remember why.
- DirectorRobert GreenwaldStarsOlivia Newton-JohnGene KellyMichael BeckA struggling artist living in Los Angeles meets a girl who may hold the key to his happiness.Again, I really liked this in the theater. I guess the movie makes perfect sense if you're five, living in L.A., and spend a lot of time at the rollerskating rink.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsKurt RussellLee Van CleefErnest BorgnineIn 1997, when the U.S. president crashes into Manhattan, now a giant maximum security prison, a convicted bank robber is sent in to rescue him.Possibly not as campy as Escape from Los Angeles, but for me camp doesn't work if it's obviously intentional - and Escape from L.A. is far more obvious than Escape from NY.
- DirectorThom EberhardtStarsCatherine Mary StewartKelli MaroneyRobert BeltranA comet wipes out most of life on Earth, leaving two Valley Girls fighting against cannibal zombies and a sinister group of scientists.I used to shop in that department store.
- DirectorJohn WooStarsChow Yun-FatTony Leung Chiu-waiTeresa MoA tough-as-nails cop teams up with an undercover agent to shut down a sinister mobster and his crew.One time I tried to tally the body count in this movie, but lost count when the baby sprung a leak.
- DirectorRaymond LeeSiu-Tung ChingHark TsuiStarsTony Ka Fai LeungBrigitte LinMaggie CheungDuring the Ming Dynasty, Tsao Siu-yan, a power-crazed eunuch who rules his desert region of China as if he were the Emperor, ruthlessly thwarts plots against him and sets a trap for one of this enemies at the Dragon Gate Inn.If you're going to go over the top, it's best to pull out all the stops. All classic Hong Kong films are cheesy, usually painfully so, but in this one somehow it all works.
- DirectorSteven E. de SouzaStarsJean-Claude Van DammeRaul JuliaMing-Na WenIn the midst of a civil war in South East Asia, a general intensifies the climate of violence by kidnapping 63 UN delegates. To free the hostages, a colonel leads a group of fighters, who will have to use all their skills to be successful.If it was just JCVD v. Raul Julia this would only rate an eight or nine on the Camp Scale, but Kylie Minogue takes this to eleven.
- DirectorW.D. RichterStarsPeter WellerJohn LithgowEllen BarkinAdventurer, brain surgeon, rock musician Buckaroo Banzai and his crime-fighting team, the Hong Kong Cavaliers, must stop evil alien invaders from the eighth dimension who are planning to conquer Earth.This one is definitely trying to be weird, yet it still mostly works, through the help of a supremely goofy script.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsCasper Van DienDenise RichardsDina MeyerHumans, in a fascist militaristic future, wage war with giant alien bugs.Everything bad about this movie is obviously intentional - I am amazed how many people miss the irony - and yet it all just works for me.