The worst films of 2012
The truly forgettable films of 2012.
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- DirectorBrian RobbinsStarsEddie MurphyCliff CurtisKerry WashingtonAfter stretching the truth on a deal with a spiritual guru, literary agent Jack McCall finds a Bodhi tree on his property. Its appearance holds a valuable lesson on the consequences of every word he speaks.Dated jokes (A Thousand Words was shot in 2008) and removing Eddie Murphy's voice -- his greatest comedic asset -- dooms this painful mess from the start.
- DirectorGabriele MuccinoStarsGerard ButlerJessica BielDennis QuaidA former sports star who's fallen on hard times starts coaching his son's football team as a way to get his life together. His attempts to become an adult are met with challenges from the attractive football moms who pursue him at every turn.Smarmy. Dopey. Sloppy. Lazy. Creepy. Tone-deaf. Predictable. Embarrassing. Lousy.
- DirectorAkiva SchafferStarsBen StillerVince VaughnJonah HillFour men who form a neighborhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion."The Watch" uneasily mixes sci-fi elements with gross-out gags and strands its talented cast with a script that favors vulgarity over wit at nearly every turn.
- DirectorMcGStarsReese WitherspoonChris PineTom HardyC.I.A. operatives wage an epic battle on each other when they discover they are dating the same woman.Sorry Chris Pine! Here he's one of the two CIA agents -- the other a miscast and palpably uncomfortable Tom Hardy -- romancing the double-timing Reese Witherspoon in a mercenary anti-romantic action-comedy directed with maximum energy and zero feeling by McG.
- DirectorWilliam Brent BellStarsFernanda AndradeSimon QuartermanEvan HelmuthIn Italy, a woman becomes involved in a series of unauthorized exorcisms during her mission to discover what happened to her mother, who allegedly murdered three people during her own exorcism.The Devil Inside is a cheap, choppy unscary mess, featuring one of the worst endings in recent memory.
- DirectorTyler PerryStarsTyler PerryEugene LevyDenise RichardsA Wall Street investment banker who has been set up as the linchpin of his company's mob-backed Ponzi scheme is relocated with his family to Aunt Madea's southern home.George's son asks for Wi-Fi, and Madea says, ''Sure, I can make you a waffle.'' That's one of the good jokes.
- DirectorSean AndersStarsAdam SandlerAndy SambergLeighton MeesterWhile in his teens, Donny fathered a son, Todd, and raised him as a single parent until Todd's 18th birthday. Now Donny resurfaces just before Todd's wedding after years apart, sending the groom-to-be's world crashing down.While it does represent a new foray into raunch for the normally PG-13 Sandler, "That's My Boy" finds him repeating himself to diminishing effect - and dragging Andy Samberg down with him.
- DirectorScott HicksStarsZac EfronTaylor SchillingBlythe DannerA Marine travels to Louisiana after serving three tours in Iraq and searches for the unknown woman he believes was his good luck charm during the war."The Paperboy" is an atrocious movie -- in part because 24-year-old Zac Efron is too old to play a virgin teen. But Efron is even less convincing as a Marine just back from three tours of Iraq in this sappy, soft-in-the-head Nicholas Sparks romance, a non-story that shies away from any potential excitement.
- DirectorLen WisemanStarsColin FarrellBokeem WoodbineBryan CranstonA factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run.Paul Verhoeven and Arnold Schwarzenegger already did this movie right -- so it's especially aggravating to see how Len Wiseman has taken a smart post-modern sci-fi thriller and turned into an inane and muddle-headed action flick. Rubbing salt in the wound, the movie blatantly rips off the design elements of sister-Philip K. Dick movies "Blade Runner" and "Minority Report."
- DirectorPeter BergStarsAlexander SkarsgårdBrooklyn DeckerLiam NeesonA fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.It may offer energetic escapism for less demanding filmgoers, but "Battleship" is too loud, poorly written, and formulaic to justify its expense -- and a lot less fun than its source material.
- DirectorMåns MårlindBjörn SteinStarsKate BeckinsaleMichael EalyIndia EisleyWhen human forces discover the existence of the Vampire and Lycan clans, a war to eradicate both species commences. The vampire warrior Selene leads the battle against humankind.When human forces discover the existence of the Vampire and Lycan clans, a war to eradicate both species commences. The vampire warrioress Selene leads the battle against humankind.
- DirectorRob CohenStarsTyler PerryMatthew FoxRachel NicholsA homicide detective is pushed to the brink of his moral and physical limits as he tangles with a ferociously skilled hired killer who specializes in torture and pain.Alex Cross is clumsily directed, poorly acted, and shoddily scripted to the point that with the right crowd you may find yourself laughing at the all the things wrong with it.
- DirectorMike McCoyScott WaughStarsAlex VeadovRoselyn SanchezNestor SerranoAn elite team of Navy SEALs embark on a covert mission to recover a kidnapped CIA agent.A laughable and reactionary military recruitment commercial posing as an authentic slice-of-life, so real the filmmakers cast bone fide Navy SEALS to perform scenes no actor could duplicate.
- DirectorTodd LincolnStarsAshley GreeneSebastian StanTom FeltonA couple is haunted by a supernatural presence that is unleashed during a college experiment.A couple is haunted by a supernatural presence that is unleashed during a college experiment.
- DirectorOlivier MegatonStarsLiam NeesonFamke JanssenMaggie GraceIn Istanbul, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills and his wife are taken hostage by the father of a kidnapper Mills killed while rescuing his daughter.So lazily put together that it relies on flashbacks from its predecessor for the majority of its character development. Unfortunately -- and somewhat embarrassingly for the human race -- there appears to be a sizable market for movies as blitheringly idiotic as this.
- DirectorM.J. BassettStarsAdelaide ClemensKit HaringtonSean BeanWhen her adoptive father disappears, Sharon Da Silva is drawn into a strange and terrifying alternate reality that holds answers to the horrific nightmares that have plagued her since childhood.There has to be someone out there who can make a successful video-game adaptation because faith is being lost year after year and Silent Hill: Revelation does nothing for the many unwavering believers.
- DirectorBrian KlugmanLee SternthalStarsBradley CooperDennis QuaidOlivia WildeA writer at the peak of his literary success discovers the steep price he must pay for stealing another man's work.It's been a good year for Bradley Cooper but he'll want to forget this pretentious and fatally hackneyed stab at a literary tearjerker -- a convoluted but predictable yarn involving three novelists, a lost manuscript and Jeremy Irons pruning his petunias.
- DirectorJason WinerStarsRussell BrandHelen MirrenJennifer GarnerA drunken playboy stands to lose a wealthy inheritance when he falls for a woman his family doesn't like.Slapstick dramedy fans will likely get some laughs out of the Arthur remake, but the film is stuck in the same naïve adolescence as its titular character. Russell Brand's a funny guy. But he has real trouble when he tries to spread his dramatic wings into any moment that doesn't land on a punch line.