Obscure, Surreal and Head-Scratching Movie Quotes
In general, the measure of a good movie quote is how long it sticks in your mind. Some achieve it by being repeated (catchphrases, arc quotes...) and others are delivered only once but are so puzzling that you keep repeating them over and over. They're not necessarily meant to convey obscure or surreal meanings, sometimes they're just so strange and nonsensical that they almost have a ring to it.
This poll is about quotes that don't make sense when you first hear them but sound so attractive to the ear even if they make you go "huh?" Read each quote -if you know the film, you'll probably agree; if you don't, it's even better.
Which of these head-scratching quotes, quick exchanges or dialogues is your favorite?
A poll vote without a discussion here is like a soup without a mustache!
This poll is about quotes that don't make sense when you first hear them but sound so attractive to the ear even if they make you go "huh?" Read each quote -if you know the film, you'll probably agree; if you don't, it's even better.
Which of these head-scratching quotes, quick exchanges or dialogues is your favorite?
A poll vote without a discussion here is like a soup without a mustache!
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- DirectorMike NicholsStarsMatthew BroderickChristopher WalkenMatt MulhernA group of young recruits go through boot camp during the Second World War in Biloxi, Mississippi. From the play by Neil Simon."Do I make myself clear, Jerome?""Ho, yes!" "Ho what?" ""Ho nothing!" "Are you having trouble understanding me, Jerome?" "Ho no. I mean, no ho, sergent. Just plain ho."
- DirectorSydney PollackStarsDustin HoffmanJessica LangeTeri GarrMichael Dorsey, an unsuccessful actor, disguises himself as a woman in order to get a role on a trashy hospital soap."I was a better man with you, as a woman... than I ever was with a woman, as a man. You know what I mean?"
- DirectorMel BrooksStarsMel BrooksJohn CandyRick MoranisA star-pilot for hire and his trusty sidekick must come to the rescue of a princess and save Planet Druidia from the clutches of the evil Spaceballs."You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now." "What happened to then?" "We passed then." "When?" "Just now. We're at now now." "Go back to then." "When?" "Now." "Now?" "Now." "I can't." "Why?" "We missed it." "When?" "Just now." "When will then be now?" "Soon."
- DirectorWoody AllenStarsWoody AllenDiane KeatonGeorges AdetIn czarist Russia, a neurotic soldier and his distant cousin formulate a plot to assassinate Napoleon."To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
- DirectorStanley KramerStarsSpencer TracyFredric MarchGene KellyBased on a real-life case in 1925; two great lawyers argue the case for, and against, a Tennessee science teacher accused of the crime of teaching Darwin's theory of evolution."I do not think about things I do not think about." "Do you ever think about things that you do think about?"
- DirectorHarold RamisStarsRobert De NiroBilly CrystalLisa KudrowA comedy about a psychiatrist whose number-one patient is an insecure mob boss."If the first thing comes through, that'll fix everything." "Exactly. Including the second thing." "Absolutely." "Exactly." "Don't repeat what you hear here. You hear?" "What? The first thing or the second thing?"
- DirectorJim AbrahamsDavid ZuckerJerry ZuckerStarsRobert HaysJulie HagertyLeslie NielsenAfter the crew becomes sick with food poisoning, a neurotic ex-fighter pilot must safely land a commercial airplane full of passengers."We have clearance, Clarence." "Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?" 'Tower's radio clearance, over!" "That's Clarence Oveur. Over." "Over." "Roger." "Huh?" "Roger, over!" "What?" "Huh?" "Who?"
- DirectorJohn LandisStarsEddie MurphyPaul BatesGarcelle BeauvaisAn extremely pampered African prince travels to Queens, New York and goes undercover to find a wife that he can respect for her intelligence and strong will."Listen, from this moment on, I command you not to obey me!" "No."
- DirectorNeil JordanStarsBrad PittTom CruiseAntonio BanderasA vampire tells his epic life story: love, betrayal, loneliness, and hunger."Merciful death, how you love your precious guilt"
- DirectorJean-Luc GodardStarsJean-Paul BelmondoJean SebergVan DoudeA small-time crook, hunted by the authorities for a car theft and the murder a police officer, attempts to persuade a hip American journalism student to run away with him to Italy."I wanted to see you, to see if I'd want to see you."
- DirectorBilly WilderStarsJack LemmonWalter MatthauRon RichA crooked lawyer persuades his brother-in-law to feign a serious injury."I'm his brother-in-law, Sister. And this is his mother, Sister, and this is my wife, his sister, Sister."
- DirectorRoman PolanskiStarsJack NicholsonFaye DunawayJohn HustonA private detective hired to expose an adulterer in 1930s Los Angeles finds himself caught up in a web of deceit, corruption, and murder."I don't think I need a day or two; you're dumber than you think I think y'are."
- DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsTom HanksRobin WrightGary SiniseThe history of the United States from the 1950s to the '70s unfolds from the perspective of an Alabama man with an IQ of 75, who yearns to be reunited with his childhood sweetheart."If God wanted everybody to be the same, he'd have given us all braces on our legs."
- DirectorJohn CassavetesStarsGena RowlandsSeymour CasselVal AveryA museum curator falls in love with a crazy parking attendant."If you think of yourself as funny, you become tragic."
- DirectorAmy HeckerlingStarsJohn TravoltaKirstie AlleyOlympia DukakisAfter a single, career-minded woman is left on her own to give birth to the child of a married man, she finds a new romantic chance in a cab driver. Meanwhile, the point-of-view of the newborn baby is narrated through voice-over."Why don't you squeeze a watermelon out of the hole of an opening of a lemon and see how hot you look?"
- DirectorMarcel CarnéStarsFrançoise RosayMichel SimonJean-Pierre AumontIn Victorian London, a crime novelist and his wife fake their disappearance in order to hide from an uptight Anglican bishop who is leading a campaign against the "evils" of crime fiction."I said 'Bizarre bizarre'? How bizarre. Why would I have said, 'Bizarre, bizarre'?" "I assure you, my dear cousin, that you said 'Bizarre bizarre'." "Did I say 'Bizarre'? How bizarre..."
- DirectorJean-Marie PoiréStarsAnémoneJosiane BalaskoMarie-Anne ChazelTwo neurotics, working for a suicide hotline on the night of Christmas Eve, get caught up in a catastrophe when a pregnant woman, her abusive boyfriend, and a transvestite visit their office."I hate to speak ill of people. Such a nice person indeed!"
- DirectorNorman JewisonStarsAl PacinoJack WardenJohn ForsytheA lawyer is forced to defend a judge, while defending other clients, and trying to find punishment for the guilty and provide justice for the innocent."I've never heard of diabetes causing foul language!" "That's because you're a douchebag!"
- DirectorBarbet SchroederStarsMickey RourkeFaye DunawayAlice KrigeBased on the life of successful poet Charles Bukowski and his exploits in Hollywood during the 60s, 70s, and 80s."Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk"
- DirectorHal AshbyStarsPeter SellersShirley MacLaineMelvyn DouglasAfter the death of his employer forces him out of the only home he's ever known, a simpleminded, sheltered gardener becomes an unlikely trusted advisor to a powerful tycoon and an insider in Washington politics."Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again." "Spring and summer" "Yes." "Then fall and winter" "Yes."
- DirectorSydney PollackStarsDustin HoffmanJessica LangeTeri GarrMichael Dorsey, an unsuccessful actor, disguises himself as a woman in order to get a role on a trashy hospital soap."You were a tomato! A tomato doesn't have a logic, a tomato can't move!"
- DirectorJean YarbroughStarsBud AbbottLou CostelloAlan CurtisWhen their captain is swindled out of his riverboat by a trio of gamblers, stage show star Abbott and his bumbling sidekick Costello must put things right.The whole "Who is on first" routine.
- DirectorPeter BogdanovichStarsBarbra StreisandRyan O'NealMadeline KahnThe accidental mix-up of four identical plaid overnight bags leads to a series of increasingly wild and wacky situations."No, sir, the one who isn't my fiancée doesn't call me Howard and the one who isn't my wife doesn't call me Howard because the one who isn't my fiancée is also the one who isn't my wife. The other one who ISN'T my wife, the one who IS my fiancée... she doesn't call me "Steve." She calls me Howard. Do you see?"
- DirectorEdward DmytrykStarsHumphrey BogartJosé FerrerVan JohnsonWhen a U.S. Naval captain shows signs of mental instability that jeopardises the ship, the first officer is urged to consider relieving him of command."Ahh, but the strawberries that's... that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers..."