Scriptwriting so brilliant it can make your brain hurt
This is an experimental work-in-progress. I have been a TV/film addict for longer than I can remember. I was given a choice of a 12-step program, or community service (writing for IMDb). Obviously I chose the latter. With thousands of films and TV episodes stuck in my head - REMEMBER, IT IS A MEDICAL FACT THAT UNDER HYPNOSIS A BRICKLAYER CAN RECALL THE TEXTURE OF THE FIRST BRICK HE EVER LAID -- I wanted to acknowledge writing so extraordinary, it is really above and beyond the call of duty. Oddly, most of the entries below come from the TV universe -- this could be because movies have larger budgets for SFX whereas TV writers, with fewer resources, need to go for the brass ring each and every time.
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- DirectorJames BurrowsStarsTed DansonKirstie AlleyRhea PerlmanSam is in the middle of picking up an attractive woman named Suzanne in the bar, when he's telephoned by another former lover named Denise who wants to see him as soon as possible. So many women, so little time. He chooses to see Denise, while he puts current prey, Suzanne, on hold. However, Denise doesn't quite want a liaison: she tells Sam that he is one of two possible men who fathered her newborn child. Sam is shaken at the news, and swears to God that he will forgo sex forever if the child isn't his. He decides to change that to three months, which is like a lifetime for Sam. He quickly finds out that he is not the father, and is relieved. He is just about ready to head off for an evening of debauchery with Suzanne when Carla reminds him of his vow to God. Because of Carla's strong Catholic background, she convinces Sam, with a little unwitting help from Woody, that a vow to God is something one should not take lightly. Sam asks for advice from Father Barry and Frasier, the former who won't let Sam off the hook, and the latter who suggests he funnel his sexual energies into other endeavors. It doesn't help that another old flame, Rachel Patterson, comes by the bar on a short layover she has in Boston. Sam isn't sure he can make it through the evening with Rachel let alone the three months. A hotel room accessory may make him come to a conclusion about his vow.Turned out I was not the only one who heard the brilliant line "What color is the sky in your world?" and could not forget it.
- DirectorJeremy WebbStarsMatt SmithKaren GillanArthur DarvillApril 22nd, 2011; 5:02pm. Having finally accepted his fate the Doctor travels to Lake Silencio for his final day. But one woman refuses to let time take its course.We all know Steven Moffat is a "national treasure" (like Judy Dench) and expect greatness as a matter of course. But in this episode Karen Gillan's character (in an alternate dimension where she is sort of a she-god) is being pursued by the alt version of the young man who, in our reality, she is already married to. In the alt-world, she was ignoring him completely until the good Doctor Who pointed out the young man's romantic intentions. So she starts to pay attention. And gets the message. As the boy continues his puppydog attempts to woo her, she takes the initiative with the grandest REVERSE-PROPOSAL in the history of the written word ... an unforgettable line of dialog delivered with her back to the young man as she strides down a hallway with him following .... "We should GET A COFFEE some time ... and MARRIED."
- DirectorJames BurrowsStarsTim DalySteven WeberCrystal BernardEstranged brothers reunite at a small airport to try to find their recently deceased father's hidden fortune.In the opener, Steven Weber's politically incorrect character sees a gorgeous girl walking across their "mini-me" airport and mumbles "Major Hooters." The young lady takes offense so, without missing a beat, he extends his hand as an introduction, "Major Bob Hooters, nice to meet you."
- DirectorCraig ZobelStarsRicky WhittleEmily BrowningCrispin GloverThe story of Laura's life and death is explored, including her first encounter with Shadow and how exactly she came to be sitting on the edge of his motel room bed.American Gods is such an extraordinary evolution in the history of scriptwriting that, frankly, I am still trying to digest it. This episode is a bizarre piece of backstory in an amazing series which is itself so bizarre that even the frontstory barely makes sense. Except to those of us already heavily medicated. In the scene in which Emily Browning's character, recently revived from the dead, for reasons not entirely clear, is chatting with a facsimile of Annubis, the God of Death (whom she had cheated by being magically revived), Annubis tries to probe her complicated relationship with her husband, a relationship that appears to have changed, as it were, "post-mortem." The dialog goes:
Anubis: Was it love?
Laura: It wasn't. But I suppose it is now.
Anubis: That is unfortunate. Love will always have you at a disadvantage.
Laura: I think being dead has me at a disadvantage. - DirectorHoward DeutchStarsPatrick FugitPhilip GlenisterWrenn SchmidtMegan must face the consequences of her actions. While a dissappearance in Rome leads Kyle to a dangerous consequence of the possessions.In this uber-creepy series, which is also addictive, Philip Glenister's loopy preacher is a joy to watch. So much frailty behind such a tough exterior. There is a particularly memorable scene where, for no obvious reason, Wrenn Schmidt's character tries to commit suicide and Glenister's character rescues her. As Schmidt recovers, she seems to expect a lecture from the good Rev? Instead, she gets one of the greatest non-sequitors in the history of TV, a line of gibberish that rhymes -- "Not my job to judge. Like the Good Book says, there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind." Schmidt considers this and then squeaks, "That's not the Bible! That's Doctor Seuss!" Without skipping a beat, Glenister replies, "STILL A GREAT BOOK!"
- DirectorRichard L. BareStarsLloyd BochnerSusan CummingsRichard KielAn alien race comes to Earth, promising peace and sharing technology. A linguist and his team set out to translate the aliens' language, using a book whose title they deduce is "To Serve Man."Episode 89 of this series is still an object of awe and wonder even today. The "dual meaning" of the book title (stolen from the ETs and translated secretly) has a message just as relevant today as then. OMG, it's a cookbook!
- DirectorWes CravenKenneth GilbertStarsKristoffer TaboriAnne TwomeyGary ColeIn "Her Pilgrim Soul," two scientists must discover why the spirit of a woman is reliving a previous life within their holographic computer. "I of Newton" showcases a mathematician in a battle of wits with the Devil for his soul.In the 1985 reboot, a mathematician has a battle of wits with the Devil. The Devil explains that he is all-powerful, and a Master of Time and Space. However, he offers the mathematician one last chance to win his soul back. All the mortal has to do is present the Devil with a task he cannot perform. The mathematician considers this and replies, "OK, Get Lost."
- DirectorJoss WhedonStarsSarah Michelle GellarNicholas BrendonAlyson HanniganBuffy and her friends battle the Judge and face unexpected danger from Angel, who has lost his soul after experiencing a moment of true happiness.The episode that changed the face of network TV. I think it is still being taught in film classes. Buffy and Angel (the bad vampire who was cursed to get his soul back, making him a "good' vampire forever carrying the memories of the evil he had done, and suffering eternally for that) decide to "get busy" (Whedon would later explain how much debate the production team had about that) and the one single, resulting, moment of joy (according to the terms of the original curse) transforms Angel back into into his old soul-less self. He then sets about destroying everything and everyone Buffy loves. This reverse take on the vampire myth was not only original and unique but on an unconscious level it brought to the fore the age-old notion that love and hate are themselves only a razor's edge apart. Whedon deserved the praise for this one. This outrageous arc bored into the collective consciousness so quickly that, later in the series, the writers were comfortable writing dialog where Boreanaz himself would pretend to get offended if another character thought he had temporarily "turned evil." And the audience lapped this up. TV history was being made.
- CreatorDavid SchicklerJonathan TropperStarsAntony StarrIvana MilicevicUlrich ThomsenAn ex-con assumes the identity of a murdered sheriff in the small town of Banshee, Pennsylvania, where he has some unfinished business.The one of a kind spin that Whedon brought to Buffy was imitated in this "modern western" where the anti-hero assumes the identity of a dead lawman and uses the badge to sort out his personal problems. The core premise was not 100% unique - this twist had been used here and there -- but was never used as the base for an entire series and frankly had never been used so well. One of the greatest iterations of TV 3.0.
- DirectorJoss WhedonStarsDavid BoreanazCharisma CarpenterAlexis DenisofAngel attempts to help a girl with telekinetic powers before she falls into the hands of Wolfram and Hart.I am on record predicting that "early Whedon" will be remembered by purists as being better than late Whedon, when the suits and the accountants got to him. Buried in this episode is one of the best 7-word throwaway lines in the history of TV. Whedon, not yet aware that one day his name will be synonymous with the Marvel library, riffs off the infamous Bruce Banner line "You wouldn't like me when I am angry" in this otherwise forgettable episode about a girl named Bettany whom Angel needs to rescue before Wolfram and Hart can get her. She stays at Angel's HQ (the old hotel) and in the middle of the night shows up in Angel's room, looking for action, but still awkward. "I can make you happy," she stammers. Without a blink Angel replies deadpan, "You wouldn't like me when I am happy." One short sentence that simultaneously riffs off BOTH the Hulk legend and the Buffy legend at the same time! Wow.
- StarsMegumi ToyoguchiDaisuke NamikawaBrad SwaileA Japanese businessman, captured by modern-day pirates, is written off and left for dead by his company. Tired of the corporate life, he opts to stick with the mercenaries that kidnapped him, becoming part of their gang.Among hard-core anime fans, this unique and (so far) one of a kind series may not be considered perhaps the best-ever, but it rates darn close in terms of animation, story and brutal dialog. In episode 22, the "hero" (a former Japanese salary-man who unintentionally got involved with the underworld) goes out of his way to rescue a young female student who was kidnapped by a local gang. After a brilliant rescue, the "damsel in distress" reveals herself to be the head of a rival gang and tears a strip off the hero in one of the memorable dissertations on the nature of Good and Evil I have ever heard, effectively turning all notions of "hero" and "victim" completely unside down. The series is known far and wide as an action series but this episode in particular comes across almost as a morality play and it is both provocative and brilliantly penned.
- DirectorGiancarlo VolpeStarsZach Tyler EisenMae WhitmanJack De SenaAang hears a swamp calling to him. In the swamp, Aang and the gang find out that this is not any natural swamp.Let's start with a confession. Although I have seen some extraordinary moments of creativity on TV over the years, the series that inspired me to create this list was AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER. Not the film version - ugh! -- and definitely not Korra. The original. I have seen it twice through (so far). The second time I took detailed notes. Aside from the sharpness of the writing and the deft wit, there are layers upon layers here I have never encountered before. Avatar TLA is in my view the most sophisticated writing project in the history of TV. This episode for example "seems" to be simply about the gang getting lost on a hostile island. But if you re-watch and pay attention to what is actually being said, you will find, buried deep in this ANIMATED CHILDREN'S SHOW (!?!) a summary of what many scholars believe to be the oldest religious doctrine on our planet, one that goes back tens of thousands of years into prehistory, and one which simply says that everything is "connected" to everything else. Just like our best Quantum Physics theorists.
- DirectorDennie GordonStarsDan StevensRachel KellerAubrey PlazaDavid tries to find a way out of his predicament.Let's, for now, not go into the superb IRONY that this Marvel TV show, a wonderful iteration of what I like to call TV 3.0, packs more metaphysical fun into a single episode than the entire Marvel Dr. Strange movie (released a few months earlier) which cost a zillion times more. Because this is not an "irony" list and therefore that factoid is beyond the purview of this commentary. Instead, let's look at the cleverness in the way the hero David (played by Dan Stevens) uses his "power" to construct a representation of his "rational self" in time of need. There is a marvellous and unforgettable script conceit in the way David notices that this new construct of himself, sent to rescue him, speaks with a perfect British accent. When he questions the other version of himself as to ... why the accent? ... the other version simply underscores that this is his "rational" counterpart. The implication? If each of us could fabricate a construct of our rational side, how could it NOT speak with a Brit accent??? That alone should have you on the floor laughing. About 2 minutes later, "David Prime" becomes a willing participant in this "inner dialog" and is merrily explaining to his new construct (the one with the accent) how he got into the mess, and how he might get out. As his enthusiasm grows, he (David Prime) suddenly adopts a British accent of his own, as if to bond with his own alt-version. And -- remember that Dan Stevens is playing both roles simultaneously!! -- the construct, who boasts a perfect British accent, immediately mocks the sloppy British accent that David Prime tried to put on. This humor is fast, quick, brutal --- and if you blink YOU MIGHT MISS IT. Which qualifes it for this list. And, even more fun, it harks back to a long-overlooked scene in HOUSE (also so quick you could have missed it) where Hugh Laurie, as British as an English Pub, playing an American doctor with a perfect American accent, tries to phone a colleague in London and, for about 10 seconds, tries to put on a "terrible British accent" just to make that colleague feel more comfortable. Same gag, just as fast, just as funny.
- DirectorJed WhedonStarsClark GreggMing-Na WenChloe BennetAs Radcliffe and Aida's plan goes into action, Fitz and Simmons are trapped in the Playground unsure of which of their friends are real and which ones have been replaced by LMDs.A decade or so ago it was much easier to find "pure" Joss Whedon, that is, material both written and directed by Joss. Today Joss is protected by many layers of corporatism and getting to the good stuff is harder. This episode was written by Whedon. Regardless of what you might think of the "long arc" in the series (which has become a bit dark for my taste) in this episode John Hannah's character gives a brilliant dissertation on the nature of reality (all the more appropriate given recent scientific views that reality itself may be a simulation) only to find that his "creation," the anatomically perfect AIDA, has found a paradox in her own programming. Initially he pooh-poohs her concerns ... but by the time he realizes she is dead-serious, it is too late. And the very words "dead serious" take on new meaning. This short arc is brilliant and list-worthy. It is as good as any similar arc from any episode of Star Trek ever filmed ... and probably better.
- DirectorAnthony HemingwayStarsBilly Bob ThorntonWilliam HurtMaria BelloAs both sides begin their depositions, more secrets start to come to the surface, threatening to destroy everyone involved."SORRY DOESN'T FEED THE CAT!" (Hey, don't make that face. You know you are going to try to use it in a coversation.)
- 1972–19751hTV-PG7.9 (1.2K)TV EpisodeDirectorJerry ThorpeStarsDavid CarradineBarry SullivanAlbert SalmiAfter avenging the death of his teacher, a Shaolin monk flees China to the American West and helps people while being pursued by bounty hunters."Why would you strike a blind man TWICE for the same offense?" (says blind Master Po as he allows himself to be hit once but intercepts the second blow).
- DirectorJoss WhedonStarsRobert Downey Jr.Chris EvansScarlett JohanssonEarth's mightiest heroes must come together and learn to fight as a team if they are going to stop the mischievous Loki and his alien army from enslaving humanity."YOU AND I REMEMBER BUDAPEST VERY DIFFERENTLY." If you have been paying attention to the patterns in this list, it will come as no surprise that the script for the first Avengers feature was written by Joss Whedon. How good is this guy? Thought you would never ask. A 7 word sentence -- called a "throwaway" in the biz because it connects to nothing else -- is uttered by Hawkeye to Natasha and, based on those 7 words and nothing else, millions of viewers around the world "knew" that something romantic had happened between the two, and the chat rooms were a-buzz. Even better, Whedon delivered the line in a way which defined the difference between the sexes -- still using only 7 little words -- to a degree that has eluded professors and scholars for centuries.
- DirectorDon ChaffeyStarsPatrick McGoohanMervyn JohnsFrancesca AnnisAn international financier has come to the notice of M9, as he is believed to be an extortionist and murderer. When some important people are found dead, Drake goes undercover as a butler at the financier's rented villa in Rome."One of the most revered tropes in the biz and I traced it back to this episode. Secret Agent, trained professional, John Drake, to complete his assignment, pretends to be a butler attached to a summer home where the bad guy is staying. McGoohan, never less than brilliant, gives the performance of his life as a strong independent man forced to pretend to be a mere "gentleman's gentleman." There is an iconic scene here where the villain, thinking Drake is a mere butler, berates him verbally. Drake smiles stoically through it all, but a closeup shows that he clenched his fist so tightly he actually shattered a wine glass he was holding. But the piece de resistance was the skeet shooting scene. This was the original, shamelessly copied ever since. Sensing there is something odd about his new butler, the villain invites Drake to try his hand at skeet shooting. After first missing all but one himself, the villain hands the gun to Drake who all the while is protesting this is not his style. Grudgingly, Drake shoots --- a perfect score. Stunned, the villain asks Drake if he had ever shot skeet before? No, reveals Drake with truly scary sincerity, THAT WAS HIS FIRST TIME.
- DirectorNorman FosterStarsGuy WilliamsBritt LomondHenry CalvinIn an effort to discredit Zorro, Capt. Monestario has a Zorro impersonator rob a crown of jewels from the mission. Zorro must redeem his reputation.Having seen this episode as a child it was burned into my brain. Only later, with the help of Google, did I find that tens of thousands like me had never forgotten it either. Zorro, possibly one of the greatest swordsmen alive, has to deal with the fact that a fencing master has been summoned to find him and kill him. At one point the fencing master has a falling out with his evil comrades and kidnaps an innocent. There is no time to change identities, so it is Don Diego not Zorro that has to challenge the man. Don Diego, a buffoon with a sword, must take on the master. The villain promises to make the end quick. Don Diego, who can barely hold a sword correctly, keeps apologizing for not knowing what to do yet, AMAZINGLY, as if by accident, manages to parry every move from the master; ultimately, in a wild and clumsy attack, disarming the professional. It is an unforgettable trope but it must be considered that the writers were "inspired" by Danny Kaye's hit movie COURT JESTER from the prior year, which contained a similar but "backwards" trope -- Kaye's character was really a buffoon but under hypnosis became the greatest swordsman alive. (see also #61 below)
- DirectorSimon WincerStarsTom SelleckLaura San GiacomoAlan RickmanSharpshooter Matt Quigley is hired from Wyoming by an Australian rancher paying a very high price. But when Quigley arrives Down Under, all is not as it seems.Much has been made of the trope in the original Fistful of Dollars (where in the finale the villain successfully fires killshots into Eastwood's heart with a rifle, not knowing there is a metal plate hidden there, and after each unsuccessful shot Eastwood closes the distance to finally achieve pistol range) but amazingly no one ever talks about the carefully structured showdown in this nearly-perfect, almost-ignored movie. Early in the film Selleck's character drops a throwaway line to the villain that he "never cared" for Colt's invention of the pistol, and much prefers his rifle. As the film brilliantly works up to the showdown, the villain, who considers himself a whiz with a handgun, makes a show of giving Selleck a loaded colt-45 for the finale, smirking all the while. Selleck not only outdraws and kills the villain, but (in true Eastwood style) the villain's two flanking henchmen at the very same time. Just before the villain dies, he looks confused and surprised. Selleck delivers one of the most unappreciated lines of dialog in film history: "I said I have no use for them ... I never said I didn't know how to use one!"
- DirectorRenny HarlinStarsGeena DavisSamuel L. JacksonYvonne ZimaSamantha Caine lives in a small town with her daughter. Eight years ago she emerged, two months pregnant, from a nearby river with no memory of her past or who she is. However, she's getting closer to finding out about her past.Geena Davis' last major movie was a pet project. As an amnesiac killer trying to retrieve skills (a strange yet endearing take on Bourne) she suddenly discovers she can cut a carrot like a pro. Her family (part of her amnesiac "cover story" which she now thinks is real, and they don't know any better) tries to help by tossing her vegetables from the fridge. She catches them in one hand, cuts them with the other. "I am a chef," she trills happily, thinking the amnesia is finally cured. Then an apple is tossed to her and in a moment of glee she throws the apple up into the air, picks up a large kitchen knife and -- like in a circus act -- throws the knife in a blur of motion and pins the helpless apple to a cupboard door, almost cut perfectly in half. Her family looks just a little dismayed. She however retains her optimism -- "CHEFS DO THAT!?"
- DirectorJames YukichStarsDennis MillerDennis Miller performs his verbose stand-up comedy before a politically friendly California crowd. The title is fitting due to the complete flip from his acidic urbane rants from previous decades that hit on all topics and on all cylinders. This set is primarily a Fox News audition tapeThis HBO special was not a shining moment in Miller's career and was way too political. But Iron Man 2 (also a weak effort) had had just come out, and Miller quipped one of the greatest comic "put-downs" of all time in reference to the highly eccentric (and very strange) Mickey Rourke, who played a villain in the IM film. In the scene shown on the monitor, Rourke walked onto a race track (with a race in progress) brandishing a set of uber-long electrical whips that protruded from a device strapped to his back. His outfit was made of leather and open chested. As Rourke's character sauntered along, he would "whip" the passing race cars, essentially cutting them in half, and then continue walking, smiling all the while. As the clip on the monitor finished, Miller quipped, "I wonder if Mickey even knows he is in a movie?"
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsHarrison FordKaren AllenPaul FreemanIn 1936, archaeologist and adventurer Indiana Jones is hired by the U.S. government to find the Ark of the Covenant before the Nazis can obtain its awesome powers.This entry appears only for completeness in case there are sticklers reading this list who DEMAND to know why the infamous and iconic trope from Raiders (where Ford confronts a sort of crazed blade-wielding martial arts beserker who does a little dance before attacking ... then Ford pulls a pistol and shoots him!) is missing -- BECAUSE IT WAS NOT PART OF THE SCRIPT! It was ad-libbed by Ford. And the director, the unsinkable Steven Spielberg, used the take.
- DirectorJon FavreauStarsRobert Downey Jr.Mickey RourkeGwyneth PaltrowWith the world now aware of his identity as Iron Man, Tony Stark must contend with both his declining health and a vengeful mad man with ties to his father's legacy.Following the rock-solid first entry, IM2 was a mjajor disappointment. However, from a dreary script with dreary characters, this bit of "sales" dialog was written for the over-drawn and cartoonish Justin Hammer character, describing a miniature missile about the size of a cigar:
"These are the Cubans, baby. This is the Cohibas; the Montecristos. This is a kinetic-kill, side-winder vehicle with a secondary cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine RDX burst. It's capable of busting a bunker under the bunker you just busted. If it were any smarter, it'd write a book, a book that would make Ulysses look like it was written in crayon. It would read it to you. This is my Eiffel Tower. This is my Rachmaninoff's Third. My Piéta. It's completely elegant, it's bafflingly beautiful, and it's capable of reducing the population of any standing structure to zero. I call it "The Ex-Wife."" - DirectorJoss WhedonStarsRobert Downey Jr.Chris EvansMark RuffaloWhen Tony Stark and Bruce Banner try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ultron, things go horribly wrong and it's up to Earth's mightiest heroes to stop the villainous Ultron from enacting his terrible plan.Ultron (before his death): "You are unbearably naive."
Vision: "Well I WAS born yesterday."
And there goes a great signature line of dialog in a film which over time is likely to become known as "Whedon's Folly." Personally I do not for a moment believe that Joss, the master of the written word, cranked out this script entirely on his own. I believe some studio hacks gave him a set of paramters and a checklist of things which "had" to be in the script. The result was a 3 hour piece of trash -- a movie that required cybernetic implants just to be able to watch it in one sitting -- which some poor editor had to whittle down to 02:21 before completely losing his mind. There are a few neat things in this, here and there (the scenes with Linda Cardellini come to mind, the only sympatico character in the movie) but overall this film is a disaster. Even the studio, who probably caused the problem in the first place, considered it a dud. - StarsDuncan BrannanCole BrownShelley Calene-BlackA Kottos robot on the police force malfunctions in an unexpected way after meeting a little girl.Stories about TRanshumanism do not always work as intended.This one does. In the original Frankenstein story, the interaction between the "monster" and an innocent child who stumbles on the creature has become iconic. And hard to beat.
This episode recreates that scene with one difference -- the child is also artificial and the humans (two thugs) are the bad guys. It is clever and it works. Even better, it trumps itself. At the close the AI robot (the "monster") who saved the girl (also an AI) was so damaged defending the girl that he had to be rebooted. So when the girl comes to thank the bot for saving her life, he has no memory of it. She gives him a flower but, having no memory, he tosses it away. And the episode closes on that shot -- the flower lying on the ground. Is that the future of mankind? - DirectorMichael RitchieStarsChevy ChaseHal HolbrookJulianne PhillipsAfter receiving an inheritance in Louisiana, Los Angeles reporter Irwin Fletcher heads to the Belle Isle plantation where he gets himself into hilarious trouble.To appreciate the two Fletch movies, which in no way resemble the best-selling books they were based on, you have to constantly remind yourself that here is Chevy in full flight, at the peak of his comic skills, and not constrained by script limits (as was his character in the NatLampoon series). In this film, on a plane, the annoying lady seated next to him is clearly trying to strike up a conversation in spite of Chevy's own lack of interest. She comments that Chevy's watch looks like a championship watch? He confirms it is a championship Lakers' watch. And this follows, as he continues to try to dull her interest:
Fletch: It's a championship Laker watch.
Cindy Mae: Oh, are you a Laker?
Fletch: I used to date one - only thing I have to remember him by. - DirectorMcGStarsKevin CostnerHailee SteinfeldConnie NielsenA dying CIA agent trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter is offered an experimental drug that could save his life in exchange for one last assignment.Amber Heard, an actress who arguably never found her potential, finds it here as a vampy dressed-in-black CIA killer who tries to put the moves on a grumpy Kevin Costner doing a nice job of playing Walter Matthau with a gun. In close quarters in an elevator, her character, Vivi, closes in on Kevin.
"Don't take this the wrong way but you're not my type."
"I AM EVERYBODY'S TYPE."
Which, in the writing game, is what we call a truism. - DirectorAndy FickmanStarsAmanda BynesLaura RamseyChanning TatumWhen her brother decides to ditch for a couple weeks, Viola heads over to his elite boarding school, disguised as him, and proceeds to fall for his school's star soccer player, and soon learns she's not the only one with romantic troubles.It is not just about writing -- it is about timing. In this one Amanda Bynes is playing a girl pretending to be her own twin brother (and doing a heck of job in this hugely under-rated film.) On the field she takes a full impact soccer kick directly to the groin. Her timing is pitch-perfect. At first, nothing, after all, why should it hurt? Then, face changes, horrible realization that unless she gives a proper "guy" reaction, the jig will be up. So we have first reaction, second reaction, then a double-take and finally, trying to find the appropriate epithet, she screams with as much conviction as she can muster, "SWEET MOTHER OF...!" If you are not on the floor by that point, you need to have your chiro reset your funnybone.
- DirectorDearbhla WalshStarsEwan McGregorCarrie CoonMary Elizabeth WinsteadGloria and Winnie get closer to the truth; Emmit tries to make things right; Nikki and Ray prepare for payback; Varga cleans up a mess.Straight up fact -- most production teams taking on the daunting task of turning a clever film into a series can usually churn out one strong season and then go bust, but Fargo is the exception to the rule. At S03, the writing, acting, casting, direction are all at a level where the viewer actually feels privileged just to be able to watch. (In a nearly perfect cast, David Thewlis stands out as one of the creepiest entrepreneurs of all time.) In this episode there is a scene where one of Thewlis' "team" has to get rid of an annoying IRS agent. There are two astounding things about the resulting scene. First, it is a sight gag, which is rare these days. Thewlis' man, well played by Andy Yu, walks into the scene and "mimics" the eccentricities of the IRS agent. No dialog at all for the first minute or so, but the audience understands that the agent is seeing an "equal and opposite force" across the table from him. It is brilliant. And only one thing can make it more brilliant. it was a throw-away. The scene was not even key to the story. The writers were just showing off. Wow.
- StarsBob CarterMasami KikuchiRobert McCollumBaki Hanma competes in an underground fighting tournament organized by Tokugawa. Masters of various fighting styles come from all over the world in order to determine who is the strongest fighter on Earth.Everyone knows Japanese anime is insane. Which is why it is so powerful, almost addictive. Viewers should have to take and pass a psych exam before being allowed to watch. However even in that context several entries are in a class of their own. Grappler Baki is one. On the surface it seems just another entry in the martial arts sub-class. But look deeper and you will find a character with more "mommy issues" than any character in any play, story, movie or TV show even you go back to the Ancient Greeks.
- CreatorDouglas PetrieMarco RamirezStarsCharlie CoxKrysten RitterMike ColterSet a few months after the events of the second season of Daredevil, and a month after the events of Iron Fist, the vigilantes Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and Iron Fist team up in New York City to fight a common enemy: The Hand.Not the best Marvel entry (that distinction goes to the Daredevil series) but has the best throwaway. In E03, Cox (one of the best actors in the history of action TV) has an encounter with Ritter which he abruptly ends by grabbing a piece of her wardrobe to use as an impromptu mask when he senses danger above. Moments later, Ritter and Cox meet on a upper floor while he is still en route to the danger. "You look like an asshole" says Ritter watching him hurry, in her patented S*REW Y*U delivery. "It's your scarf," is Cox' fast reply. Killer writing.
- CreatorJustin MarksStarsJ.K. SimmonsOlivia WilliamsHarry LloydA hapless UN employee discovers that the agency he works for is hiding a gateway to a parallel dimension that's in a cold war with our own, and where his other self is a top spy. The war slowly heats up thanks to spies from both sides.Counterpart refuses to allow even its most faithful viewer to pigeonhole the show. As you watch your brain, used to watching bland and predictable TV, has to change "modes" because from minute to minute you are watching a sci-fi show, a spy show, an action show, a mystery, a love story, and a work of philosophical wonder (as in, are we the result of Nature or Nurture?, and if you met yourself by the side of the road, would your first instinct be to hate yourself?).
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(dialog)
"Do you think it is possible to love someone without knowing who they really are?"
"Maybe we don't love someone for who they really are."
"Maybe love is seeing them for who they'd rather be."
In a sea of great TV, Counterpart continues to amaze. - DirectorGerd OswaldStarsCurd JürgensClaire BloomHansjörg FelmyIn 1938 Austria shortly after the Nazi occupation, a prominent Viennese intellectual, Werner von Basil, is arrested for smuggling art treatures out of the country and imprisoned by the Gestapo in a hotel room without any mental sustence of any kind to break him down to make him talk while a young ballerina, named Irene Adreny whom is the lover of the SS officer Berger playing mind games on von Basil, tries to intervene and help the poor intellectual keep his mind intact.The writing technique is called a 'throwaway" and it is common in the body of the script but uncommon at the end. The story is of an innocent man captured and tortured during WW2. To stay sane and resist his captors, he uses the shadow the sun throws on the cell floor, through the window bars, as a makeshift chess board. Along with a book on chess he has managed to conceal, he practices famous chess games every day to keep himself from going mad. At the very end of the film comes the throwaway -- now a free man, he passes one of those streetcorner chess masters who typically take on multiple players at a time, and he takes a seat, starts playing. As the audience watches in anticipation, the "master" is fllummoxed by the amateur and shakes his head in amazement. Unforgettable scene. Great ending.
- CreatorRick BermanMichael PillerJeri TaylorStarsKate MulgrewRobert BeltranRoxann DawsonPulled to the far side of the galaxy, where the Federation is seventy-five years away at maximum warp speed, a Starfleet ship must cooperate with Maquis rebels to find a way home.Feeling old -- memories of the last days of true "network" TV. This show produced some of the best time travel arcs in this history of the medium. The best was RELATIVITY -- Ep 24, Season 5, 1999. True blend of sci-fi and humanism. Better than any BACK TO THE FUTURE script.
- StarsMamoru MiyanoAsami ImaiKana HanazawaAfter discovering time travel, a university student and his colleagues must use their knowledge of it to stop an evil organization and their diabolical plans.Never mind if you love or hate anime. Don't care. This series was so beloved by fans the producers were compelled to do a sequel that was never planned. In E22 of the original you may have the best-written first kiss and the best-written star-crossed lovers. (The protagonist messed up his time travel and accidentally killed a young girl who he cared for platonically. In trying to continually time-travel to alternate universes to save her, he fell in love with another girl who was trying to help him, and stood by him in each time-line. Too late, he realized that he was in love with second girl. But he could only save one of the two..)
- CreatorGrant MorrisonBrian TaylorStarsChristopher MeloniRitchie CosterLili MirojnickAn injured hitman befriends his kidnapped daughter's imaginary friend; a perky blue flying unicorn.An insane show in a class of its own. S01E06 starts with a support meeting for Imaginary Friends which ends in a rant on Judy Bloom delivered by a former IF whose charge got pregnant. Wait, it gets better. Later in the same episode, Nick, the sort-of protagonist, drags the zombifed body of a young man he killed to a church and "parks" him with the priest for a half hour. When Nick returns to collect the reanimated young man, the priest no longer has him because the man, now possessed by the Devil, had wandered out. Nick is furious and delivers a single line of dialog which sums up the 2000 year history of a very controversial organization - "I BET IF HE WERE A 14 YEAR OLD BOY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LOST HIM!"
- CreatorChris DowneyJohn RogersStarsTimothy HuttonGina BellmanChristian KaneA crew of high-tech crooks attempt to steal from wealthy criminals and corrupt businessmen.Great series with great writing. S01E11 pits Parker, one of the best characters to be created in recent years, in a situation where she has to learn negotitation or deal making skills. She is tossed an orange and the instructor has an apple. THIS IS THE SAME EXAMPLE USED BY REAL INSTRUCTORS IN REAL NEGOTIATION SEMINARS. Can she negotiate a swap in time? The instructor moves to bite the apple -- which would kill the deal -- and Parker yells "I put a razor blade in the apple!" (and the instructor spits out what he bit) ".. but not in this orange." And the swap is done. Outrageously funny.
- CreatorChris CarterStarsDavid DuchovnyGillian AndersonMitch PileggiTwo F.B.I. Agents, Fox Mulder the believer and Dana Scully the skeptic, investigate the strange and unexplained, while hidden forces work to impede their efforts.S11e07 title Rm9sbG93ZXJz, a brilliant look at the future of humanity in a world run by AI. There is almost no dialog in the script (!) so the tag line at the end "WE HAVE TO BE BETTER TEACHERS" has that much more impact.
- StarsShaun EvansRoger AllamJames BradshawSet from 1965 into the 1970s, the show follows Endeavour Morse in his early years as a police constable. Working alongside his senior partner DI Fred Thursday, Morse engages in a number of investigations around Oxford.If MORSE was the crown jewel of British detective fiction (and it was) this is the jewel's jewel. No expense is spared in this series to make it perfect. S01E01 has one of the best lines of dialog ever, just at the end, as a british agent "wraps things up" by giving an ultimatum to a Minister who is also the murderer, Holding a letter in one hand and a silenced pistol in the other: "Well, Minister, either you sign the Letter of Resignation or, unfortunately, I will have to get blood all over my shoes."
- CreatorMelissa RosenbergStarsKrysten RitterRachael TaylorEka DarvilleFollowing the tragic end of her brief superhero career, Jessica Jones tries to rebuild her life as a private investigator, dealing with cases involving people with remarkable abilities in New York City.Super lines like "I will figure out this shitshow -- there is no version of it that ends well" deserve more credit than they get.
- DirectorJack ArnoldStarsGrant WilliamsRandy StuartApril KentAfter Scott Carey begins to shrink because of exposure to a combination of radiation and insecticide, medical science is powerless to help him.This B&W film is almost lost and it deserves an audience. Like most viewers, I was put off by the ending which was totally UN HOLLYWOOD, did not solve the problem, the hero did not win. Instead he continues to shrink while actually looking forward to the challenges his new microscopic size will bring. "To God there is no Zero!" The director later revealed the studio hated the ending but he insisted ... and got his way. An entire generation grew up uncomfortable with this film because of the ambiguous ending. Yet this older but wiser reviewer now believes that ending was the most profound of any film ever made, and completely in line with the modern view of Quantum Physics.
- CreatorBrian KoppelmanDavid LevienAndrew Ross SorkinStarsPaul GiamattiDamian LewisMaggie SiffNew money means no mercy as Mike Prince takes the Axe Capital throne. Chuck Rhoades is convinced no one should have that much wealth - or power. As all the players seek out new alliances, only one thing's for certain - wealth means war.Billions s03e07 -- "I was fodder. I knew it too ... but that is the thing. Once you are inside the cannon, there is only one way out."
- CreatorPhoebe Waller-BridgeStarsJodie ComerSandra OhFiona ShawAfter a series of events, the lives of a security operative and an assassin become inextricably linked.In KILLING EVE S01e07, Jodie Comer, who steals every scene she is in as the charismatic killer Villanelle, is pushed into a cell and sees a supersized female prisoner waiting for her. Obviously a setup. She responds turning to her jailer with one of the funniest lines ever uttered in a drama about killing, unfazed, unafraid, and uttered with perfect timing: "My understanding of solitary confinement ... is that it is solitary?"
- CreatorDrew GoddardStarsCharlie CoxVincent D'OnofrioDeborah Ann WollA blind lawyer by day, vigilante by night. Matt Murdock fights the crime of New York as Daredevil.Marvel tends to either get it right or get it wrong. No middle ground. DD is not merely their best series but one of the greatest series of all time. S02E04 at the 45:00 mark Castle gives a monologue on the nature of war. Hollywood has been trying to nail that speech for almost a century and here it is, perfect. Every country that starts a war, every country that sends men to war, should have to hear this first.
- CreatorAndrew SodroskiJim ClementeTony GittelsonStarsGethin AnthonyArliss HowardKelly JenretteAn in-depth look at how an FBI profiler helped track down the terrorist Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber.We will never know whom the producers offended so deeply that Worthington was snubbed. Worse, the writers were ignored too. The scripts were so sharp they became almost hypnotic from episode to episode (S01). They were sly. They were multi-level. They turned what should have been an ordinary police procedural into a look in the mirror. By the end of the story, the bad guy was caught yet the viewer could not escape the idea that a great many bad guys were still running free.
- StarsLee Min-hoKim Go-eunWoo Do-HwanA modern-day Korean emperor passes through a mysterious portal and into a parallel world, where he encounters a feisty police detective.S01E05 "You must be kept alive until your beheading." Who knew those were the most romantic words in the Korean language? Or any language for that matter? K-Dramas are like discovering a new dimension of entertainment after you have exhausted your own. And this series is extraordinary.
- CreatorGreg WeismanBrandon ViettiGeoff JohnsStarsNolan NorthDanica McKellarJesse McCartneyTeenage superheroes strive to prove themselves as members of the Justice League.Another line of dialog that goes right into the HALL OF FAME. Especially notable for a Young Adult show!
Young Justice s03E21 -- after a baby with a heart defect is born and the mother -- who has special powers -- asks the doctor who delivered the baby to help with a "special procedure" while time is running out -- "This is crazy. I take the baby out of the mom. I never put the mom INTO THE BABY." - DirectorJason ReitmanStarsCarrie CoonPaul RuddFinn WolfhardWhen a single mom and her two kids arrive in a small town, they begin to discover their connection to the original Ghostbusters and the secret legacy their grandfather left behind.Fans especially younger ones may not appreciate how hard it is to do a sequel so long after the original, even if the original was your dad's project. McKenna Grace, astonishing throughout, has one of the best quips in film history: "Spirit of Gozer : Are you willing to offer yourself in sacrifice to me?" "Phoebe : What?" "Spirit of Gozer : Are you prepared to die?" "Phoebe : No. I'm only 12. Are you?"
- CreatorAdam KayStarsBen WhishawAmbika ModRory Fleck ByrneSet on Labour Ward with all its hilarity and heart-lifting highs but also its gut-wrenching lows, the show delivers a brutally honest depiction of life as a junior doctor on the wards, and the toll the job can take back home.s01e02, Dr. Adam deals with a difficult older female patient who insists "Nobody cares if I die" to which he quips "Oh I don't know -- the Lion and the Wardrobe will probably miss you."
- CreatorJohn LinsonTaylor SheridanStarsKevin CostnerLuke GrimesKelly ReillyA ranching family in Montana faces off against others encroaching on their land.He: "Can't be love. God wouldn't let you love something can't love you back." She: "YAH HE WOULD." One of more than 100+ snippets of dialog from perhaps the best written TV show in history. Seems that once Taylor Sheridan started to get positive feedback on his early scripts, instead of resting on his laurels, he doubled-down and went for the brass ring. America's Steven Moffat. Pretty much every episode has something special in the writing.
- CreatorGlen A. LarsonRonald D. MooreStarsEdward James OlmosMary McDonnellJamie BamberWhen an old enemy, the Cylons, resurface and obliterate the 12 colonies, the crew of the aged Galactica protect a small civilian fleet - the last of humanity - as they journey toward the fabled 13th colony, Earth.S04e14 BLOOD ON THE SCALES -- already have this on my Ten Best TV series of all time -- the writing is outrageously sharp -- themes of crime & punishment, vigilante justice, and a surprise twist (to the viewer) which was no surprise to the writers. AKA the "dog bowl" episode. s04e17 -- one of the most unusual lines in the history of drama, and yet it only makes sense to the fans: "I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY SINCE THE DAY I DIED IN YOUR ARMS."
- CreatorClyde PhillipsStarsMichael C. HallJack AlcottJulia JonesTen years after faking his death in Miami and moving to Upstate New York under an assumed name, Dexter gets an unexpected visit from the son he abandoned.Closing line to EO6 -- "I don't need Jim. I need Dexter Morgan." One of the greatest lines in TV history and it took a lot crafting and building to get there. This is not a series like COBRA KAI which is fueled only by nostalgia. The writing team understands the characters and the scripts are as sharp as Dexter's knife.
- StarsMin Nam-koongPark Ha-seonKim Ji-eunA spy investigation show with a story about a top National Intelligence Service (NIS) agent. In his endeavor to uncover the internal traitor that brought him to his downfall, he confronts a much bigger enemy behind the organization.Many TV buffs believe the opening sequence in PERSON OF INTEREST (2011) is the best ever. (In it, some thugs on a subway car pick on an old wino in the corner of the car--and he cleans their clocks). But this opening sequence takes the prize. A tramp steamer heads into Korean waters. Below deck are an assortment of refugees who clearly paid for their illegal passage but are shamelessly abused anyway. A particularly nasty deckhand goes below to have his way with a female refugee. Instead, he attracts the anger of a tramp in the corner of the hold, a bearded and bedraggled man who looks like he has not eaten or washed in months. The deckhand tries to push the bum away, only to realize he has a tiger by the tail. He calls for help, but the more of the crew that come to his rescue, the more bodies end up strewn on the floor. Turns out the bearded bum was a top ranked Korean spy who needed to find an alternative route back into the country.
- DirectorMarty PasettaStarsElvis PresleyJames BurtonJerry ScheffA 1973 concert by Elvis Presley taped at the Convention Center in Honolulu, Hawaii. This was the first program to ever be beamed around the world by satellite.This entry is a BONUS COOKIE for curious IMDb members. I do not promote my lists on social media so only those interested in this topic will get this far. FYI, long ago there was a singer named Elvis. He had a three octave voice that was unforgettable. At the time, he was considered the most recognizable showbiz personality on the planet He worked for years in Vegas and always ended his shows with a song pastiche called AMERICAN TRILOGY. He sings it in this show. Which BTW was the first TV show ever broadcast worldwide in real time. He supposedly died in the late 1970s of an overdose, coincidentally on the same day he was supposed to testify against a local gangster. If this interests you, check YOUTUBE to see if you can locate the short clip with the keywords DENTONS BENTON 2011 MATT BOB JOYCE. It has over 1.6 million hits. Another Youtuber specializing in software used to match voiceprints has already indicated that Bob is the "closest" match to Elvis he has found. Of course, vocal chords shrink as we age. In 2011, Bob amazingly almost had his full range. In 2023, in his late 80s, this is no longer the case. Amazing singer. Amazing man. If you like puzzles, solve this one yourself.
- CreatorAlbert KimStarsGordon CormierKiawentiioIan OusleyA young boy known as the Avatar must master the four elemental powers to save the world, and fight against an enemy bent on stopping him.Book 3 Ep 14 -- one of the sharpest exchanges of "bromance" dialog in the history of TV. SOKKA shares a personal story with his new bff ZUKO (formerly his arch enemy) "MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND TURNED INTO THE MOON" (which actually happened earlier in the series). Without missing a beat, ZUKO replies "THAT'S ROUGH BUDDY!" Awesome series!
- CreatorNeil GaimanDavid S. GoyerAllan HeinbergStarsTom SturridgeBoyd HolbrookPatton OswaltUpon escaping after decades of imprisonment by a mortal wizard, Dream, the personification of dreams, sets about to reclaim his lost equipment.The writing in this series is uniformly above average but S01e04 takes on the age-old challenge of dueling with the Devil -- and nails it! I HOPE I made that clear? (Inside joke -- watch the episode!)
- CreatorStephany FolsomStarsCamryn JonesRiley Lai NeletSofia RosinskyFour young friends' paper routes are disrupted on Hell Day 1988, when they unknowingly time travel to 2019. While searching for a way home, they come face-to-face with their adult selves and learn how to work together to save the world.Have never seen the concept of "self meeting self" taken this far -- and that includes even the "time paradoxes" in Star Trek Voyager. By the time we reach E07 in S01, it becomes clear how astonishing the dialog actually is. Here we have Tiff essentially arguing with herself (even trying to 'diss her older self -- "Oh Great and Powerful Oz"), and the writing is so polished that the audience has no trouble following. Can you imagine how many philosophers over the years have tried to record such an "inner dialog" and failed ... because they never thought of using time travel as the medium of communication? Unforgettable.
- CreatorHenk HandloegtenTom TykwerAchim von BorriesStarsVolker BruchLiv Lisa FriesLars EidingerColognian commissioner Gereon Rath moves to Berlin, the epicenter of political and social changes in the Golden Twenties.While this entire series is in a class by itself, in s02e07 there is a scene where a principle character in the show (and a popular one at that) not only dies but dies a horrible death by drowning in a car which was forced off the road. The extraordinary writing not only does this to a beloved character, unexpectedly, but this was a character who had just survived a kidnapping and torture, so the viewer is completely caught off guard. Astonishingly, this unforgettable scene has no dialog as such just silent screams of anguish as the two actors in the car are underwater at the time. One of a kind.
- CreatorAlfred GoughMiles MillarStarsJenna OrtegaEmma MyersHunter DoohanFollows Wednesday Addams' years as a student, when she attempts to master her emerging psychic ability, thwart a killing spree, and solve the mystery that embroiled her parents."First time someone's killed themselves in the Morgue. Guys don't know what to do with the body." (S01E05). This brilliant show which is also the comeback vehicle for the creators of SMALLVILLE (after a well-earned retirement) is full of brilliant one-liners, but that one is an instant classic. Also in E06 -- Wednesday is grumpy about her birthday, a friend asks, Don't you like a day that is all about you? She replies -- EVERY DAY IS ALL ABOUT ME. THIS ONE JUST COMES WITH A CAKE AND A BAD SONG. (Bogart would have killed for dialog like that).
- DirectorRouben MamoulianStarsTyrone PowerLinda DarnellBasil RathboneA young Spanish aristocrat must masquerade as a fop in order to maintain his secret identity of Zorro as he restores justice to early California.(see also #19 above). It's called the pre-climax and it foreshadows the climax. In this excellent rendition (on my list of 167+ BEST) Don Diego is challenged by his enemy to deny that he is Zorro. Whereas in the Disney version, above, the character spent an entire episode making himself look like a "lucky buffoon" to avoid giving himself away, here the hero has simply has "had enough" and discards his identity, happy to get a chance to deliver justice any way he can. This not only demarks a rare plot twist, but is doubly significant since many scholars insist that Zorro was the first-ever superhero with a secret identity. (In fact that honor goes to the Scarlet Pimpernel, also on my BEST list).
- CreatorHaro AsoStarsKento YamazakiTao TsuchiyaNijirô MurakamiObsessed gamer Arisu suddenly finds himself in a strange, emptied-out version of Tokyo in which he and his friends must compete in dangerous games in order to survive.AIB S02E07, I am not aware of any other list that is tracking extraordinary plot arcs, so this list will have to do. In many decades of media consumption I have never seen so many original cast members get eliminated so quickly. Viewer loyalty? Out the window. This series was never in the same class as Squid Game (brilliant but with traditional arcs) so this an entirely new level of out-of-the-box writing.