Old Movies To Avoid (Racist, Super Depressing, Or Just Bad)
Not 'so bad that it's good'; just bad. Trash that you can't enjoy.
Covers the 1910s-1950s.
If you want good old movies, I have lists for those too. You deserve good movies in your life.
Covers the 1910s-1950s.
If you want good old movies, I have lists for those too. You deserve good movies in your life.
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- DirectorHanns Heinz EwersStellan RyeStarsPaul WegenerGrete BergerLyda SalmonovaBalduin, a student of Prague, leaves his roystering companions in the beer garden, when he finds he has reached the end of his resources. He is scarcely seated in a quiet corner when a hideous, shriveled-up old man taps him upon the shoulder and whispers vaguely of a big inheritance for Prague's finest swordsman and wildest student if he will enter into a certain agreement. Balduin rebuffs him, satirically asking his weird companion to procure him "the luckiest ticket in a lottery or a doweried wife." The old man goes off chuckling and thence onward persistently shadows Balduin, exerting a sinister influence over him, while Balduin is still disconsolate under the frowns of fortune. The Countess Margit Schwarzenberg, hunting with her cousin, to whom her father has betrothed her, meets with an accident. She is thrown over her horse's head into a river, but Balduin, who has been directed to the spot by his evil genius, plunges in and rescues her. Subsequently Balduin calls to inquire as to her condition at the castle of her father, the count, but be makes a hurried departure when Baron Waldis arrives, the contrast in their appearance discrediting him. His desire to win the countess and to humiliate the baron becomes so pronounced that he readily accedes to the compact suggested by Scapinelli, the old man, who has so pertinaciously dogged his footsteps, particularly when he learns that untold wealth and power will be his when he assigns to the other the right to take from his room whatever he chooses for his own use as he desires. The agreement is signed. Balduin receives a shower of gold and notes as his portion; Scapinelli takes Balduin's soul exposed in concrete form by his shadow. Balduin prosecutes his love affair assiduously and with apparent success, till the baron is informed of it by a jealous gypsy girl. He challenges Balduin to a duel, and the latter, assured of his superiority as a fencer, readily agrees. Count Schwarzenberg learns of the impending duel and appeals to Balduin not to kill "my sister's child, my daughter's future husband, and my heir." Balduin gives his promise, but when he goes to the venue of the duel he meets, his own counterpart stalking away derisively wiping his gory sword on his cloak. Balduin turns and in the far distance sees the dying victim of the deed he swore he would not do. He rushes from the spot horror-stricken. When he regains sufficient composure he makes his way to the castle of the count, but is refused admission. Determined to explain that he had no complicity in the death of the baron, Balduin climbs into a room in which the countess is seated. She receives him coldly, but soon succumbs to his ardent wooing. Just as he seeks to leave her she notices he has no shadow and that the mirror gives no reflection of him; and she drops back affrighted, the ghastly apparition of himself which takes shape in the corner of the room sends Balduin scuttling away from the castle in a paroxysm of terror. He makes a frenzied flight through a woodland estate and the streets of Prague, but wherever he stops to recover his breath he is haunted by the counterpart of himself. He reaches his rooms and draws a murderous looking fire-arm from its case. As the phantasmagorical figure strides towards him with a sinister grin, he fires, and in a few minutes the blood gushes from his own side from a fatal wound.A guy befriends an elderly witch who he just met, as soon as the movie starts, with no context, except that the guy is adventurous and doesn't hang out with people his own age. Right off the bat, he gives the witch his life story, with no prompting. By the next day, he trusts this stranger enough to sign a contract with him. The whole movie is so contrived.
SEE INSTEAD: The 1926 remake. It variously goes by the titles The Student of Prague and The Man Who Cheated Life. - DirectorGiovanni PastroneStarsItalia Almirante-ManziniLidia QuarantaBartolomeo PaganoCabiria is a Roman child when her home is destroyed by a volcano. Sold in Carthage to be sacrificed in a temple, she is saved by Fulvio, a Roman spy. But danger lurks, and hatred between Rome and Carthage can only lead to war.No one's going to tell you this because of this movie's historical significance, but I'm here to warn you that this movie is very forgettable.
The sets and costumes are incredible and I believe they're historically accurate (as far as I can tell). The special effects and stunts were game-changers and still look stunning. If you pause the movie at any point, it will look like a painting. But looks aren't everything.
There are too many characters and they have weak subplots that don't relate much to the subplots of the other characters. It's a bunch of random, bad stories and characters with no personality whatsoever (They're just kind of The Soldier, The Little Girl, etc.).
But my biggest problem with the movie is that it's told through a very Christian lens; rather than a historical lens. Rather than using historical information about ancient Carthage, the movie uses the Bible's made-up information about Carthage that was specifically used to vilify Carthage and to vilify all Pagans. As a Pagan, I find that pretty insulting.
Also, there's plenty of Blackface and brown face, and there's an attempted rape scene. - DirectorD.W. GriffithStarsLillian GishMae MarshHenry B. WalthallThe Stoneman family finds its friendship with the Camerons affected by the Civil War, both fighting in opposite armies. The development of the war in their lives plays through to Lincoln's assassination and the birth of the Ku Klux Klan.The KKK are the heroes. Also, lots of Blackface. This movie was incredibly racist, even by 1910s standards.
"What does the director have to say for himself?" you may wonder. D.W. Griffith said that Blackface allows moviegoers to distance themselves from the real world, because they know that those aren't real Black people. Lol, ok. Sure, dude. - DirectorAbel GanceStarsAlbert DieudonnéSéverin-MarsA scientist develops a powder that he believes will have the effect of distorting reality for those who take it. To test its effect tries it out on his assistant, a dog, himself and two young couples.Pure nonsense.
- DirectorD.W. GriffithStarsLillian GishRobert HarronMae MarshThe story of a poor young woman separated by prejudice from her husband and baby is interwoven with tales of intolerance from throughout history.This movie is anti-feminist. In the story set in modern day (1916), feminists are the "intolerant" villains. The intertitles say that most women join the feminist movement because they're too unattractive to find a husband. WOW.
Here's how that anti-feminist propaganda goes. The Boy (he isn't named) likes how The Dear One (she isn't named) looks and so he grabs her and rudely declares that she is his gal now. He kisses her against her will. Her father kicks him out of the hallway, shoves his daughter, and yells at her to beg God for forgiveness. So, he blames HER. She, too, blames herself. Inexplicably, she decides to date The Boy. What??
Unsurprisingly, eventually The Boy tries to rape her. She locks herself in her apartment to get away from him. He asks if they can have sex if they get married. She gets excited and says yes. Apparently, we're supposed to root for this couple.
They get married and have a baby. But then The Boy gets framed for a crime he didn't commit and gets sent to prison.
A feminist group hears that The Dear One is raising a baby in poor living conditions and investigates. They find out that The Dear One can't afford a doctor for the baby and has alcohol in the apartment. They report her to child services, which is comprised of feminists, and they seize The Dear One's baby. Obviously, none of this is remotely close to what the feminist movement was like in the 1910s.
The Dear One hires a gangster to get her baby back by less than legal means, but he tries to rape her. The gangster's wife has been tailing him and shoots him dead for cheating on her.
The Boy serves his jail time so he can go home. This trashy script totally forgot about the baby so I guess The Dear One is never getting that baby back.
Also, this movie has a lot of brown face. - DirectorFebo MariArturo AmbrosioStarsEleonora DuseFebo MariNietta MordegliaSet in Sardinia, a barren and disconsolate land, where Rosalia, a poor young mother, entrusts her only son, Anania, to the natural father, who is well-off and already married. The years pass. Rosalia ages in misery, Anania becomes an adult and is about to marry. He returns to the country in order to find his mother and invite her to the wedding, but his fiancée does not appreciate this. Rosalia is abandoned once again...This is only valuable for historical purposes. One of the inventors of method acting, Eleonora Duse, plays the lead. Although she was approached for movies, this was the only one she made. She didn't seem to enjoy the movie-making process. Her method acting really shows, because she's always fiddling with something or doing something with her hands.
But the movie itself is very depressing and doesn't really have a plot. - DirectorJoe MayStarsMia MayBruno KastnerGeorg JohnHilde Warren, a famous actress, is impregnated by a convicted murderer and becomes plagued by visions of an extremely gaunt and sepulchral Death. Upon discovering her child is the image of its criminal father, Hilde must decide whether to allow it to live or to kill it and risk the embrace of Death himself.This is... problematic.
A woman marries a bad boy and the Angel of Death warns her that their unborn son will be a bad boy too, so she should kill herself so that he's aborted. Um, wow. She doesn't, and her son indeed is just like his father. Death visits her multiple times, encouraging her to kill herself to end her suffering. Eventually she gets so fed up that she murders her son and then herself.
So I guess the movie is saying that a woman should pay for the sins of her husband and her children? - DirectorA.W. SandbergStarsValdemar PsilanderGudrun HoulbergPeter FjelstrupA successful clown is abandoned by his wife for a count.Ladies, don't leave your husband. If you do, then your parents will be so ashamed of you that they will disown you.
- DirectorRobert WieneStarsBruno DecarliBernhard GoetzkeHermann PichaAfter years travelling the world, Count Greven returns home with the art treasures he has collected. But his disposition has altered dramatically and he is a troubled man. Will he suffer alone or can he be helped and freed from this malady?Nothing really happens in the movie and it's pretty depressing. A mad scientist is told that he's going to die on a specific date because of his greed. The stress over drives the guy to kill himself.
There's a really dumb scene where he tries to end world hunger by converting nitrogen into some other element. The only purpose of that scene is to show that he's trying to finish his life's work before he passes on. But he gives up immediately and that subplot is dropped.
Also, there's yellow face. - DirectorNino OxiliaStarsLyda BorelliAndrea HabayUgo BazziniA Faustian tale about an old woman who makes a pact with Mephisto to regain her youth, in return she must stay away from love. After the deal she meets two brothers who fall in love with her.This plot is so dumb and problematic.
A woman named Alba makes a Faustian bargain that she will be a young woman forever as long as she never falls in love. A demon just gives her this gift. She doesn't have to sacrifice anything for it (ex. he doesn't ask for her soul) and the demon doesn't stand to gain from this transaction. He just delights in watching her inevitably fall in love and lose her youth. So, it's more or less a prank, which is dumb.
As for the love story, a man named Sergio falls in love with Alba immediately and threatens to kill himself if she won't go on a first date with him. This is portrayed as Sergio truly being in love with Alba. I guess she was planning on turning him down, because Sergio's brother, Tristano, begs her to go on the date so that Sergio won't kill himself. Threatening to kill yourself if someone won't be with you is an abusive tactic. It's blackmail. Alba's response is completely baffling. She starts making out with Tristano, and he likes it. She never shows up to the date, so Sergio kills himself. And get this - Sergio killing himself causes Alba to realize that she was in love with him. UGH. WHAT. - DirectorRobert ReinertStarsEduard von WintersteinLia BorréErna MorenaDoubt and uncertainty ensue when the figurehead of a rebellion goes to court for an alleged rape.A wealthy woman (Marja) doesn't want to marry her fiancé (Richard), so she accuses a poor man (Johannes) of raping her. Although in this case the allegation is a lie, there is a whole lot of disturbing survivor-blaming that follows. Her brother mainly believes her because he's having a nervous breakdown and not thinking clearly. Her mother's first thought is that Marja might be lying. One of the reasons Johannes is found guilty is because he's an academic who has been giving Left-Wing speeches.
Since Marja was lying, the message the movie sends is that rape allegations shouldn't be given the benefit of the doubt. Ugh.
Ultimately, Marja commits suicide and, as she lay dying, she apologizes to Johannes and says she's always loved him. Gag. - DirectorRobert ReinertStarsEduard von WintersteinSybill MorelWerner KraussA Chinese opium dealer takes revenge on Westerners who have corrupted his wife.This is one of the first exploitation films (movies that somewhat comedically exaggerate the 'dangers' of social deviance), and it does have some of the hallmarks of later ones. However, this was made only one year after WWI, so it has more doom and gloom. The gloom makes the movie a lot longer than it should be. Most of the actors do use yellowface, but it was the 1910s, so I don't hold it against them.
- DirectorCarl Theodor DreyerStarsHelge NissenHalvard HoffJacob TexiereIn 4 episodic tales of human suffering: the temptation of Jesus, the Spanish Inquisition, the French Revolution and the Russo-Finnish war of 1918, Satan attempts to win God's favor.Almost no effort is made to tie these stories together and even less effort is put into hiding the fact that the movie is just trying to convince you to be a communist. I came here for Satan; not Bolsheviks.
- DirectorKarl Heinz MartinStarsErnst DeutschErna MorenaRoma BahnA Cashier in a bank in a small German town is alerted to the power of money by the visit of a rich Italian lady. He embezzles 60, 000 Marks and leaves for the capital city, where he attempts to find satisfaction in politics, sport, love and religion.A man can't live with the guilt of being a thief. That's literally the entire plot. Skip it.
- DirectorWallace WorsleyStarsCharles ClaryDoris PawnJim MasonA deformed criminal mastermind plans to loot the city of San Francisco as well as revenge himself on the doctor who mistakenly amputated his legs.This is really depressing.
- DirectorVictor SjöströmStarsVictor SjöströmHilda BorgströmTore SvennbergOn New Year's Eve, the driver of a ghostly carriage forces a drunken man to reflect on his selfish, wasted life.Two women throw themselves at an abusive alcoholic who has tuberculosis and likes to spread it to people who annoy him. He ends up giving his wife and kids tuberculosis on purpose. Okaaaay.
- DirectorF.W. MurnauStarsArnold KorffLulu Kyser-KorffLothar MehnertIn the castle Vogeloed, a few aristocrats are awaiting baroness Safferstätt. But first count Oetsch invites himself.. Everyone thinks he murdered his brother, baroness Safferstat's first husband, three years ago. So he is rather undesirable. But Oetsch stays; arguing he is not the murderer and will find the real one...The name sounds cool, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. There isn't much plot, there's no suspense, and the acting is terrible.
- DirectorJoe MayStarsOlaf FønssMia MayConrad VeidtThe unfaithful wife of a cruel Indian prince attempts to escape from his domination.An English architect is commissioned to build a tomb for an Indian prince but he isn't allowed to leave until the project is completed. That sounds much cooler than it is. It's really boring.
The gist of the movie is that Indians are evil.
Also, most of the characters are in yellow face. - DirectorJoe MayStarsOlaf FønssMia MayConrad VeidtIrene saves Herbert and the two help Princess Savitri flee the palace.This is the second half of The Mysteries of India, which makes the movie an excruciating 3 hrs & 40 min.
This part is more racist and ablest. The Indian characters are mostly royalty, the royals' servants, or the leper colony in the catacombs. I feel like the lepers are supposed to represent a stereotype of Indians being filthy, animalistic, and greedy. I feel like the royals are supposed to represent a stereotype of Indians being abusive, violent, sadistic, untrustworthy, and egocentric. - DirectorF.W. MurnauStarsAlfred AbelFrida RichardAud Egede-NissenA shiftless young man becomes obsessed with a mysterious woman and yearns to find her again.Lorenz steals money from his aunt. He doesn't need the money. He just wants it so he can spend it on mistresses. When his aunt threatens to have him arrested for theft if he doesn't pay her back in three days, he asks his gangster friend, Wigottschinski, to steal the money from her while she's asleep. Wigottschinski kills her and then gets the money. For some reason, we're supposed to feel sorry for Lorenz.
- DirectorCharles BryantAlla NazimovaStarsAlla NazimovaNigel De BrulierMitchell LewisSalome, the daughter of Herodias, seduces her step-father/uncle Herod, governor of Judea, with a salacious dance. In return, he promises her the head of the prophet John the Baptist.This is basically a ballet. It's all symbolism and no plot.
The characters are in a fantasy world where they're all bisexual and dripping with lust. Salome, who's a grown woman with the personality of a petulant child, gets rejected by St. John the Baptist. What is a saint doing there? They captured and imprisoned him for some reason. I guess this is supposed to be Hell? Anyway, she has him decapitated and kisses his decapitated head. That's it. That's the whole movie. - DirectorFritz LangStarsRudolf Klein-RoggeAud Egede-NissenGertrude WelckerArch-criminal Dr. Mabuse sets out to make a fortune and run Berlin. Detective Wenk sets out to stop him.I know you're not supposed to like Dr. Mabuse because he's a bad guy, but there's literally no reason to like him and it's baffling that two women are willing to do literally anything for him. He's unattractive, literally always angry, and doesn't even pretend to be nice. He physically abuses Cara and doesn't bail her out of jail when she takes the fall for him. He kidnaps Dusy and murders her husband (via mind control). This dumb movie is somehow 4 1/2 hrs long!
- DirectorD.W. GriffithStarsCarol DempsterHenry HullPorter StrongA young orphan girl, courted by an unpleasant older wealthy man who has a hold over her adoptive mother, falls in love with a young stranger at a party. Odd noises begin to be heard as a group of bootleggers clandestinely try to get away with their hidden loot. One of them is killed and the young man is suspected of being the killer.Brown face*, Blackface, the n-word, AND it calls Africans "primitive." Holy cow. This movie is incredibly racist, even by 1920s standards.
* White people play Middle Eastern characters.
The main Black guy (white guy in Blackface), Black Sam (wow), is a bootlegger who uses stolen WWI valor. Sheesh.
Additionally, the intertitles say that Africa is a land of abundant natural resources. Natural resources apparently have value; not the African people.
Bizarrely, I didn't even know that the maid was in Blackface until the end, because her skin isn't painted and she isn't wearing stereotypical Black jewelry or anything like that. She's supposed to be a light-skinned Black woman or perhaps a white-passing Black woman. I guess we're supposed to infer that from the fact that Black Sam flirts with her and she likes it. If she were white, I guess her reaction to his flirting would be screaming and running away. Wow, dude.
SEE INSTEAD: For a movie about people being stuck in a building with a killer because there's a hurricane outside, see the masterpiece Key Largo (1948). It stars the legendary Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, and Lionel Barrymore. - DirectorBenjamin ChristensenStarsBenjamin ChristensenElisabeth ChristensenMaren PedersenFictionalized documentary showing the evolution of witchcraft, from its pagan roots to its confusion with hysteria in Eastern Europe.To me, these feel like random stories that aren't strung together very well.
- DirectorEdward D. VenturiniStarsWill RogersLois MeredithBen Hendricks Jr.The village of Sleepy Hollow is getting ready to greet the new schoolteacher, Ichabod Crane, who is coming from New York City. Crane has already heard of the village's legendary ghost, a headless horseman who is said to be searching for the head that he lost in battle. The schoolteacher has barely arrived when he starts to pursue beautiful young heiress Katrina Van Tassel, angering Abraham Van Brunt, who is courting her. Crane's harsh, small-minded approach to teaching also turns some of the villagers against him. Soon, many want to see him leave the village altogether.This is a tricky one because the movie IS faithful to the short story. However, it makes the aggravating artistic choice trying to make Ichabod unlikeable. It wants you to root for Brom, since Brom is victorious in the end.
Ichabod is a likeable character because he's bookish and clumsy, and he's in the inherently comedic situation of being the awkward new teacher in town. But you wouldn't know it from this movie. He's mostly just arrogant. The actor they cast, Will Rogers, doesn't try to make Ichabod charismatic either.
So is Brom likeable in this movie? No, he's still that jock that picks on the nerds.
SEE INSTEAD: Disney's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949) is faithful to the short story while also being lots of fun. Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow (1999) isn't faithful to the story but it's a great movie.