Movies that suck according to Roger Ebert
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- DirectorTom ShadyacStarsJim CarreyCourteney CoxSean YoungA goofy detective specializing in animals goes in search of the missing mascot of the Miami Dolphins.1 Star
- DirectorSteve OedekerkStarsJim CarreyIan McNeiceSimon CallowAce Ventura, Pet Detective, returns from a spiritual quest to investigate the disappearance of a rare white bat, the sacred animal of a tribe in Africa.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorArthur HillerStarsRyan O'NealCoolioChuck DWhen a rookie filmmaker with the unfortunate name Alan Smithee realizes he's an unwitting studio puppet, being forced to make a big-budget action movie he knows is horrible, he steals the master reels and tries to make a deal.0 stars
- DirectorJean-Pierre JeunetStarsSigourney WeaverWinona RyderDominique PinonTwo centuries after her death, a powerful human/alien hybrid clone of Ellen Ripley aids a crew of space pirates in stopping the aliens from reaching Earth.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorLewis TeagueStarsRobert ForsterRobin RikerMichael V. GazzoA pet baby alligator is flushed down a toilet and survives in the city sewers. Twelve years later, it grows to an enormous size thanks to a diet of discarded laboratory dogs injected with growth hormones. Now, humans have entered the menu.1 Star
- DirectorAlbert MagnoliStarsMitchell GaylordTiny WellsJanet JonesSteve has given up on football and gymnastics after breaking an arm. Julie comes to town to train for the U.S. gymnastics championship, the first step to the Olympics. They meet and she motivates him to return to the gym.Half Star
- DirectorAnthony WallerStarsTom Everett ScottJulie DelpyVince VielufAn American man unwittingly gets involved with French werewolves who have developed a serum allowing them to transform at will.1 Star
- DirectorRoger VadimStarsRebecca De MornayVincent SpanoFrank LangellaAspiring and incarcerated rock singer, Robin Shea (Rebecca De Mornay) seduces hardworking carpenter Billy Moran (Vincent Spano). Robin marries Billy to get out of jail, but Robin's concerns are on politician James Tiernan (Frank Langella).2 Stars
- DirectorAndy TennantStarsJodie FosterChow Yun-FatBai LingThe story of the romance between the King of Siam and widowed British schoolteacher, Anna Leonowens, during the 1860s.2 Stars
- DirectorMichael BayStarsBruce WillisBilly Bob ThorntonBen AffleckAfter discovering that an asteroid the size of Texas will impact Earth in less than a month, NASA recruits a misfit team of deep-core drillers to save the planet.1 Star
- DirectorLarry PeerceStarsElizabeth TaylorHenry FondaHelmut BergerAfter getting plastic surgery in Switzerland to help rejuvenate her shaky marriage, Barbara Sawyer has an affair with a younger man while waiting for her husband's arrival from the U.S.2 Stars
- DirectorRichard DonnerStarsSylvester StalloneAntonio BanderasJulianne MooreProfessional hit-man Robert Rath wants to fulfill a few more contracts before retiring but unscrupulous ambitious newcomer hit-man Miguel Bain keeps killing Rath's targets.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorAnita RosenbergStarsElizabeth KaitanChristina WhitakerTammara SouzaTwo go-go dancers, Lulu and Peaches, are framed for the murder of their employer by the real killer, sleazy gangster Vinnie. Picking up waitress Darlene along the way, the three are involved in wild car chases with cops as they head south to cross the border into Mexico, where they unexpectedly encounter Vinnie in a fleabag Mexican motel.2 Stars
- DirectorKevin ConnorStarsDoug McClurePeter CushingCaroline MunroA Victorian era scientist and his assistant take a test run in their Iron Mole drilling machine and end up in a strange underground labyrinth ruled by a species of giant telepathic bird and full of prehistoric monsters and cavemen.1 Star
- DirectorMike NewellStarsCharlton HestonSusannah YorkJill TownsendAn archeologist discovers his daughter is possessed by the spirit of an Egyptian queen. To save mankind he must destroy her.1 Star
- DirectorArthur HillerStarsJohn GoodmanKelly McGillisTrini AlvaradoBabe Ruth becomes a baseball legend but is unheroic to those who know him.1 Star
- DirectorBob ClarkStarsKathleen TurnerChristopher LloydKim CattrallScientists hold super intelligent talking babies captive, but things take a turn for the worse when a mix-up occurs between a baby genius and its twin.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorRobert TownsendStarsHalle BerryNatalie Desselle ReidMartin LandauTwo tacky homegirls move to L.A. to become dancers; instead they scam a dying millionaire but eventually become B*A*P*S (Black American Princesses).0 Stars
- DirectorAlfonso BresciaStarsLincoln TateLucretia LovePaola TedescoA tribe of vicious female warriors terrorizes the countryside, and especially the males, until one day the men and some local villagers decide to fight back.1 Star
- DirectorKen KwapisStarsFran DrescherTimothy DaltonIan McNeiceA New York City cosmetologist, mistakenly thought to be a science teacher, is offered a job to teach the children of an Eastern European dictator.2 Stars
- DirectorRod DanielStarsCharles GrodinBonnie HuntNicholle TomBeethoven, the St. Bernard dog, becomes a father, but his girlfriend Missy is dognapped, and his puppies are in danger of the same fate.2 Stars
- DirectorJohn SchlesingerStarsMartin SheenHelen ShaverHarley CrossCal Jamison, a police psychologist, is forced to deal with a series of ritualistic murders and a malevolent cult.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorPhil KarlsonStarsLee MontgomeryJoseph CampanellaArthur O'ConnellA lonely boy befriends Ben, the leader of a violent swarm of killer rats.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorBernardo BertolucciStarsThandiwe NewtonDavid ThewlisClaudio SantamariaWhile in exile in Italy, an African woman finds herself trying to get back home and free her imprisoned husband. But the only man that can help her do so is in love with her.1 Star
- DirectorLucio FulciStarsCatriona MacCollDavid WarbeckCinzia MonrealeA young woman inherits an old hotel in Louisiana where, following a series of supernatural "accidents", she learns that the building was built over one of the entrances to Hell.Half Star
- DirectorJames L. ConwayStarsBrad CrandallVern AdixLinda BishopA documentary that explores the subject of near death experiences.1 Star
- DirectorOvidio G. AssonitisRoberto D'Ettorre PiazzoliStarsJuliet MillsRichard JohnsonGabriele LaviaJuliet Mills plays a young pregnant woman in San Francisco who is going to have the devil's baby during her strange possession. Richard Johnson shows up to help her... but what does he really want?1 Star
- DirectorIrwin AllenStarsMichael CaineSally FieldTelly SavalasAn extension of the previous film, wherein a group of adventurers return to the overturned ship to seek several fortunes.1 Star
- DirectorRobert F. SlatzerStarsJohn CarradineJoi LansingJudith JordanBigfoot kidnaps some women and some bikers decide to go on a rescue mission to save them.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorKirk WongStarsMark WahlbergLou Diamond PhillipsChristina ApplegateSocially anxious hitman Melvin Smiley, an expert in his lucrative field, goes on a job and falls in love with his kidnapping victim, turning his world upside down.1 Star
- DirectorRomain GaryStarsJean SebergMaurice RonetPierre BrasseurOn a beach, a group of sailors have sex with a depressed young woman. Madam of a nearby brothel takes her in but she leaves with an artist who lives close by. Meanwhile, her old rich husband and his sinister chauffeur are looking for her.1 Star
- DirectorJohn LafiaStarsDylan McDermottJessica HarperJames RussoTwo overzealous psychopathic US tax collectors blackmail bounty hunter Vince Holloway into stopping an illegal transfer of 20 Mio. dollars from a Mexican tax paradise into the USA. So he arrives in Diablo, where life isn't worth a penny. It seems impossible to raid the heavily guarded bank. He has to assure himself of help of the barwoman Dakota and a little boy.Half Star
- DirectorDavid LynchStarsIsabella RosselliniKyle MacLachlanDennis HopperThe discovery of a severed human ear found in a field leads a young man on an investigation related to a beautiful, mysterious nightclub singer and a group of psychopathic criminals who have kidnapped her child.1 Star
- DirectorUli EdelStarsMadonnaWillem DafoeJoe MantegnaA lawyer defends a woman accused of killing her older lover by having sex with him.Half Star
- DirectorJohn DerekStarsBo DerekGeorge KennedyAndrea OcchipintiSet in the 1920s, a young woman sets out to lose her virginity. Her mission leads her to a Moroccan sheikh and a Spanish bullfighter.Half Star
- DirectorNeal IsraelStarsJason BatemanC. Thomas HowellJonathan SilvermanTwo friends take their dying buddy on one last road trip.0 Stars
- DirectorFranco ZeffirelliStarsGraham FaulknerJudi BowkerLeigh LawsonDramatization of events in the life of St. Francis of Assisi from before his conversion experience through his audience with the pope, including his friendship with St. Clare.2 Stars
- DirectorTinto BrassStarsMalcolm McDowellPeter O'TooleHelen MirrenA dramatization of the ascent to Caesar and subsequent reign of Caligula, one of the most notorious leaders of ancient Rome. We see his ambition, his scheming, his perversion and decadence, his brutality and his lunacy.0 Stars
- DirectorRadley MetzgerStarsDanièle GaubertNino CastelnuovoEleonora Rossi DragoIn Rome, a drug-addicted courtesan falls in love with a man who insists that she gives up her lavish, orgiastic lifestyle for fidelity, but tragedy soon ensures.1 Star
- DirectorBill CondonStarsTony ToddKelly RowanCaroline BarclayThe Candyman arrives in New Orleans and sets his sights on a young woman whose family was ruined by the immortal killer years before.2 Stars
- DirectorHal NeedhamRalph BakshiStarsBurt ReynoldsDom DeLuiseDean MartinThe original characters from The Cannonball Run (1981) race across the country once more in various cars and trucks.Half Star
- DirectorCarl GottliebStarsRingo StarrDennis QuaidShelley LongA caveman seeks revenge on a much larger competitor for the hand of a beautiful cavewoman.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorJohn GlenStarsMarlon BrandoTom SelleckGeorges CorrafaceGenoese navigator overcomes intrigue in the court of King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain and gains financing for his expedition to the East Indies.1 Star
- DirectorMichael ChapmanStarsDaryl HannahPamela ReedJames RemarA young Cro-Magnon woman is raised by Neanderthals.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorPaul FlahertyStarsMartin ShortCharles GrodinMary SteenburgenA bratty 10-year-old boy is obsessed with visiting a dinosaur-themed amusement park. His uptight uncle takes the wily tyke in for a week, and barely lives to regret it.Half Star
- DirectorRichard RushStarsBruce WillisJane MarchRubén BladesA color-blind psychoanalyst is stalked by an unknown killer after taking over his murdered friend's therapy group, all of whom have a connection to a mysterious young woman that he begins having intense sexual encounters with.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorDavid Lowell RichStarsAlain DelonSusan BlakelyRobert WagnerA supersonic airborne disaster. In order to survive a flight headed for the Moscow Olympics, passengers of the Concorde must endure aerial acrobatics to dodge missiles and survive a device that decompresses the plane.
- DirectorMick GarrisStarsScott GrimesLiane CurtisTerrence MannEggs of the small but voracious alien creatures called Crites are left behind on earth and, after hatching, set their appetites on the small farm town of Grover's Bend.1 Star
- DirectorAlbert PyunStarsJean-Claude Van DammeDeborah RichterVincent KlynA martial artist hunts a killer in a plague-infested urban dump of the future.1 Star
- DirectorHerbert RossStarsMikhail BaryshnikovAlessandra FerriLeslie BrowneA successful aging dancer takes a young female protegee.Half Star
- DirectorJohn 'Bud' CardosTobe HooperStarsWilliam DevaneCathy Lee CrosbyRichard JaeckelSomeone, or something, is on an indiscriminate killing and mutilation spree during night-time. Frustrated by the clueless police, the father of the first victim is looking for answers, no matter how far fetched they are.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorGeorge A. RomeroStarsLori CardilleTerry AlexanderJoseph PilatoAs the world is overrun by zombies, a group of scientists and military personnel sheltering in an underground bunker in Florida must decide on how they should deal with the undead horde.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorJim JarmuschStarsJohnny DeppGary FarmerCrispin GloverOn the run after murdering a man, accountant William Blake encounters a strange Native American man named Nobody who prepares him for his journey into the spiritual world.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorPeter WeirStarsRobin WilliamsRobert Sean LeonardEthan HawkeMaverick teacher John Keating returns in 1959 to the prestigious New England boys' boarding school where he was once a star student, using poetry to embolden his pupils to new heights of self-expression.2 Stars
- DirectorTerry LeonardStarsFred DryerBrian KeithJoseph GianGunnery Sergeant Burns reports for duty to an American Embassy in the Middle East. However due to the 'enlightened' views of the Ambassador, the marine security detachment he is in charge of is severely restricted in their functions and presence to avoid upsetting the host government. As a result, when terrorists attack the compound, they are able to kidnap hostages and escape with little opposition. Burns ignores the Ambassador's restrictions, and throws the rule books out the window, as he becomes a one man army in an attempt to rescue the hostages, and wipe out the terrorists.1 Star
- DirectorPaul BartelStarsDavid CarradineSylvester StalloneSimone GriffethIn a dystopian future, a cross country automobile race requires contestants to run down innocent pedestrians to gain points that are tallied based on each kill's brutality.0 Stars
- DirectorGiulio PetroniStarsLee Van CleefJohn Phillip LawMario BregaA young gunfighter forms a tenuous alliance with an aging ex-outlaw to track down and eliminate the bandits who killed his family, till the surprising end.1 Star
- DirectorRay DantonStarsRobert QuarryBill EwingBrenda DicksonQuarry is a mysterious, articulate stranger who draws a cult like following of local hippies. Rather than showing them peace and love, he has more sinister plans for them, as he is a vampire.1 Star
- DirectorStephen SommersStarsTreat WilliamsFamke JanssenAnthony HealdA group of heavily armed hijackers board a luxury ocean liner in the South Pacific Ocean to loot it, only to do battle with a series of large-sized, tentacled, man-eating sea creatures who had already invaded the ship.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorKen RussellStarsVanessa RedgraveOliver ReedDudley SuttonIn 17th-century France, Father Urbain Grandier's protection of the city of Loudun from the corrupt Cardinal Richelieu is undermined by a sexually repressed nun's accusation of witchcraft.0 Stars
- DirectorRobert FuestStarsErnest BorgnineEddie AlbertIda LupinoA satanist cult leader is burnt alive by the local church. He vows to come back to hunt down and enslave every descendant of his congregation, by the power of the book of blood contracts, in which they sold their souls to the devil.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorRoman PolanskiStarsMarcello MastroianniSydne RomeHugh GriffithDuring her Italian vacation, a young and beautiful American tourist finds herself as a guest in a coastal villa inhabited by some odd people.Half Star
- DirectorJay DubinStarsAndrew Dice ClayEddie GriffinSylvia HarmanOutrageous, misogynistic and vulgar-to-the-max comedian Andrew Dice Clay does his stuff in this combination of a stand-up concert video, in a filled-to-capacity performance at Madison Square Gardens, and a series of comedy sketches.0 Stars
- DirectorBurt KennedyStarsFrank SinatraGeorge KennedyAnne JacksonDirty Dingus Magee and his old rival Hoke Birdsill take turns at being either lawman or outlaw and being rivals or partners in crime, depending of the circumstances.1 Star
- DirectorGregg ArakiStarsJames DuvalRose McGowanJohnathon SchaechJordan White and Amy Blue, two troubled teens, pick up an adolescent drifter, Xavier Red. Together, the threesome embark on a sex-and-violence-filled journey through an America of psychos and quickie marts.0 Stars
- DirectorAlan GibsonStarsChristopher LeePeter CushingStephanie BeachamIn 1972 London - a century after his final battle with Professor Van Helsing - Count Dracula is resurrected by occultist Johnny Alucard, and goes after his archenemy's descendants.1 Star
- DirectorFrancis GiacobettiStarsSylvia KristelUmberto OrsiniFrédéric LagacheAfter two months of separation, Emmanuelle must find her husband Jean in Hong Kong. She goes there by boat. Once in Thailand, she finds her husband and meets Christopher, a mysterious airplane pilot. At a dinner, she also meets Laura, Jean's mistress and her troubling stepdaughter Anna Maria. She proceeds to have several extramarital affairs -- with Jean's knowledge, of course.1 Star
- DirectorPeter HyamsStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGabriel ByrneRobin TunneyAt the end of the century, Satan visits New York in search of a bride. It's up to an ex-cop who now runs an elite security outfit to stop him.2 Stars
- DirectorBruce BrownStarsPatrick O'ConnellRobert 'Wingnut' WeaverRobert AugustTwo famous surfers, Patrick O' Connell and Robert "Wingnut" Weaver, set out for an international worldwide surfing safari adventure with documentary filmmaker Bruce Brown.2 Stars
- DirectorTerry JonesStarsTim RobbinsJohn CleeseMickey RooneyErik the Viking and his men travel across the sea to find Valhalla to ask the gods to end the Age of Ragnarok.0 Stars
- DirectorRobert HarlingStarsShirley MacLaineBill PaxtonJuliette LewisAfter the death of her daughter, Aurora struggled to keep her family together, but she has a grandson in jail, a rebellious granddaughter and another grandson living almost on the poverty line.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorGarry MarshallStarsDana DelanyDan AykroydRosie O'DonnellElliot heads for the sexual fantasy island, Eden. He takes some photos of diamond smugglers. They and undercover cops want the photos and follow him to Eden.Half Star
- DirectorIvan ReitmanStarsRobin WilliamsBilly CrystalJulia Louis-DreyfusA woman cons two old boyfriends into searching for her runaway son by convincing both that they are the boy's father.1 Star
- DirectorJ. Lee ThompsonStarsChuck NorrisLouis Gossett Jr.Melody AndersonA pair of adventurers try to track down an ancient Aztec/Mayan/Egyptian/Apache hoard of gold.1 Star
- DirectorBert I. GordonStarsMarjoe GortnerPamela FranklinRalph MeekerA group of friends travel to a remote Canadian island to hunt, only to be attacked by giant killer animals which have populated the place.1 Star
- DirectorTom GriesStarsJason RobardsKatharine RossScott HylandsAn aging actor finds himself falling for the beautiful, and much younger, wife of an attorney.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorBronwen HughesStarsSandra BullockBen AffleckMaura TierneyA soon-to-be-married man encounters an exciting stranger after his plane suffers an accident on takeoff.1 Star
- DirectorSteve MinerStarsBetsy PalmerAmy SteelJohn FureyFive years after the events of the first film, a summer camp next to the infamous Camp Crystal Lake is preparing to open, but the legend of Jason is weighing heavy on the proceedings.Half Star
- DirectorGeorge HaasStarsStephen BaldwinDanny NucciGeorge NewbernFeaturing an all-star cast including Academy Award nominee Robert Downey Jr., Stephen Baldwin, and super model Claudia Schiffer, FRIENDS & LOVERS is a sexy comedy about best friends who pair up in unexpected ways over a memorable weekend.Half Star
- DirectorAmos PoeStarsJosé Rafael ArangoNicole ArlynDavid CaleEva is a legit actress who does debt-collecting jobs on the side for her ex-husband, loan shark Al. She doesn't want to go on with collecting, but Al asks her to do one last job: finding a missing $600,000 stolen from him by Flav.0 Stars
- DirectorGeorge MillerStarsShelley LongCorbin BernsenLarry MillerA man is hired to run a bank which turns out to be a sperm bank.0 Stars
- DirectorBurt ReynoldsStarsBurt ReynoldsJack WestonLauren HuttonAgents force a former con man to help them nab a corrupt politician.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorStephen HopkinsStarsMichael DouglasVal KilmerTom WilkinsonA bridge engineer and an experienced old hunter begin a hunt for two lions after they start attacking local construction workers.Half Star
- DirectorLarry CohenStarsTony Lo BiancoDeborah RaffinSandy DennisA New York detective investigates a series of murders committed by random New Yorkers who claim that "God told them to."1 Star
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsMatthew BroderickJean RenoMaria PitilloFrench nuclear tests irradiate an iguana into a giant monster that heads off to New York City. The American military must chase the monster across the city to stop it before it reproduces.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorJoseph RubenStarsMacaulay CulkinElijah WoodWendy CrewsonA young boy stays with his aunt and uncle and becomes friends with his cousin, a boy of the same age who shows increasing signs of violent and psychopathic behavior.Half Star
- DirectorKen CameronStarsRachel WardBryan BrownSteven VidlerIn pre-WWII Australia, a love triangle develops between a man, his wife and the man's brother.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorRoland JofféStarsPatricia ArquetteDermot MulroneyMary-Louise ParkerSandra is married to Jake, an alcoholic executive, but has a secret relationship with her brother-in-law Ben, who is attracted to Peggy, a woman who hides a dark side known to few. When Sandra finds out, Ben mysteriously disappears.1 Star
- DirectorWilliam FriedkinStarsJenny SeagroveDwier BrownCarey LowellA young couple with a newborn baby don't realize that the nanny they hired is a magical nymph who sacrifices infants to an evil tree.1 Star
- DirectorDeran SarafianStarsChristopher LambertMario Van PeeblesDenis LearyUSD400,000,000 is stolen and a drug lord wants it back. The killed thief's brother is broken out of prison by a DEA bounty hunter to help find the money boat. The body count continues in Latin America.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorRené Cardona Jr.StarsStuart WhitmanGene BarryJohn IrelandReverend Jim Jones, the priest of an independent church in the South American country Guyana, orders his followers to commit suicide. But not all of them follow him blindly and begin to think on their own.0 Stars
- DirectorRobert ClouseStarsKurt ThomasTetchie AgbayaniRichard NortonAn American gymnast travels to a foreign country to compete in a deadly game not won by anyone other than a native in more than 900 years.
- DirectorSteve MinerStarsJamie Lee CurtisJosh HartnettAdam ArkinLaurie Strode, now the dean of a Northern California private school with an assumed name, must battle the Shape one last time, as the life of her own son hangs in the balance.2 Stars
- DirectorDennis DuganStarsAdam SandlerChristopher McDonaldJulie BowenAfter his grandmothers house is repossessed by the IRS, bad tempered hockey player takes his talents to golf to earn the big bucks and get his grandmothers house back.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorNicholas SgarroStarsLynn RedgraveJean-Pierre AumontLovelady PowellIn the first of three films on the life of Xaviera Hollander, the famous hooker from Holland traces her career as madam of the biggest and most profitable bordellos in New York.1 Star
- DirectorMikael SalomonStarsMorgan FreemanChristian SlaterRandy QuaidThe partner and nephew of an armored-truck driver tries to prevent three million dollars from being taken by a gang during a catastrophic flooding caused by a severe storm.1 Star
- DirectorChristopher Scott CherotStarsChristopher Scott CherotChenoa MaxwellHill HarperLee Plenty is a flailing, wannabe writer, homeless and apartment-sitting for his friend, the wealthy Havilland Savage, while she is off visiting family. So Lee jumps at the chance to see Havilland, whom he has secretly loved for years.
- DirectorChris ColumbusStarsDavid KeithTuesday WeldCharlie SchlatterA teen tries to set up a band at his school, when his mother, who was a big fan of Elvis Presley, gets in a wreck. He and his band members decide to kidnap Elvis to meet her.1 Star
- DirectorMichael CiminoStarsKris KristoffersonChristopher WalkenJohn HurtDuring the Johnson County War in 1890 Wyoming, a sheriff born into wealth does his best to protect immigrant farmers from rich cattle interests.1 and a half Stars
- DirectorTom DeSimoneStarsLinda BlairVincent Van PattenPeter BartonFour college pledges are forced to spend the night in a deserted old mansion, where they are stalked by the monstrous survivor of a family massacre years earlier.1 Star