- (On first meeting Paul Giamatti): "You'd better be the man your father was". (Bart Giamatti, who was a professor of Renaissance Literature at Yale and was Commissioner of Baseball when Pete Rose was banned from the game).
- (On friend and collaborator R. Crumb (aka Robert Crumb): "He has a good eye and ear for the way people are and the way they talk. And he draws better than just about anybody in the world".
- I very frequently get letters from people that say, "Yea, I went through that myself, and I really got a lot of comfort from your story." That makes me feel good. People who've had lousy experiences like to read about somebody else going through the same crap, so they find out they're not the only ones. Misery loves company. There's a lot to that.
- As a matter of fact, I deliberately look for the mundane, because I feel these stories are ignored. The most influential things that happen to virtually all of us are the things that happen on a daily basis. not the traumas. Yet, because they are common, writers ignore them as not being fit to write about. I take the opposite point of view. I think you can find all the elements that you can find in great literature in mundane experiences. You can find heroism everyday, like guys working terrible jobs because they've got to support their families. Or as far as humor, the things I see on the job, on the street, are far funnier than anything you'll ever see on TV.
- "Life is about women, gigs, an' bein' creative." (Epitaph on his headstone)
- Life is a war of attrition. You have to stay active on all fronts. It's one thing after another.
- I've tried to control a chaotic universe. And it's a losing battle. But I can't let go. I've tried, but I can't.
- On his works: The theme is about staying alive, getting a job, finding a mate, having a place to live, finding a creative outlet.
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