- The most difficult character for me is Zonker. He's much more of a free spirit than I am.
- America is the only country in the world where failing to publicize yourself is considered arrogant.
- Having a successful daily comic strip is the closest thing to tenure that popular culture offers. But it doesn't seem to have freed up creativity any more than tenure for professors has. It's been an open invitation for complacency.
- When I talk to wounded veterans, I usually don't ask them what they think the mission was. I don't presume, because their lives are wrenching enough without the suggestion that their sacrifices may have been without meaning. Moreover, if that is so, it will become apparent to them soon enough . . . The young men and women who we've repeatedly put in harm's way are paying the price for this misbegotten mission, and as long as it continues, I, like so many of our countrymen, must walk this strange line between hating the war but honoring the warrior. I don't know how long we can keep it up. . .
- "I think he is smart but willfully ignorant, and he uses his ignorance for strategic advantage, which is appalling. He substitutes belief for thought. It protects you from self-doubt" -- Trudeau's opinion of President George W. Bush.
- [on his continued satirizing of Donald Trump] You can't make this stuff up, so why try? Some people feel that Trump is beyond satire, but we professionals know he IS satire, pure and uncut, free for all to use and enjoy, and for that we are not ungrateful. For our country, though, we can only weep.
- Traditionally, satire has comforted the afflicted while afflicting the comfortable. Satire punches up, against authority of all kinds, the little guy against the powerful. Great French satirists like Molière and Daumier always punched up, holding up the self-satisfied and hypocritical to ridicule. Ridiculing the non-privileged is almost never funny-it's just mean.
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