- My job is to make sure that my party does not get pulled left or right as Cameron goes right and Miliband goes left.
- When people are anxious and insecure about the future, and you have a prolonged periods of social anxiety, siren voices on left and right become very attractive. On the left it is attractive to say you don't need to make any difficult economic decisions. On the right it becomes tempting to blame it on everyone else - foreigners, immigrants, take your pick.
- [on Jeremy Paxman] Here is a guy who gets paid a million pounds, thereabouts, paid for by taxpayers. He lives off politics and he spends all his time sneering at politics.
- [on supporting gay marriage, despite not including it in the Liberal Democrat election manifesto] It's just a simple idea that if two people love each other, it doesn't matter what sex they are, it doesn't matter if they're the same sex, if they love each other and they want to show that commitment towards each other through marriage, they should be able to do so and the fact that from this weekend same sex couples will be able to demonstrate their love to each other through marriage just as much as any other couple I think is a great, great step forward.
- If you're one of the first same-sex couples getting married this weekend, and you've got a spare seat, you might want to invite the likes of Norman Tebbit or Nigel Farage. Then each can see, for themselves, just how much this hard-won right - to celebrate your love for each other - means to you, your families and our country.
- It should be entirely unremarkable and completely uncontroversial that two people, whoever they are, want to express and celebrate their love for each other. Getting to this point has not been easy. There has been a lot of anger. There have been vicious words and, in some cases, prejudice has been exposed. So today when Britain celebrates, let's ensure that prejudices of the past are well and truly beaten.
- Every time a new same-sex couple marries, any outdated views that linger will be pushed further and further out of view.
- [In May 2015, after the election of David Cameron with a majority government] In the absence of strong and statesmanlike leadership, Britain's place in Europe and the world, and the continued existence of our United Kingdom itself, is now in grave jeopardy.
- [2010; choosing a stash of cigarettes as his luxury item on Desert Island Discs] Well, I have a confession to make which is that, uh, I do like the occasional cigarette, so I wouldn't mind just having a stash of cigarettes. I can just imagine as the sun's going down and I've got the beard, you know, flowing down to my knees, I'm thinking what on earth am I going to do to while away the time... just puffing away at a cigarette would be quite nice. I know I'm not supposed to say this 'cause... It's a terrible thing and I hope my children don't hear this programme because they don't even know that I smoke but I do like the occasional cigarette.
- [asked in 2010 whether he would agree to give up smoking by the end of the Coalition's first term in government in 2015] The rate we're going, no. It will be up to 20 a day.
- [May 2014; Lynn Barber asks him when he has last had a cigarette] Oh, Lynn, don't ask me that! More recently than I should have.
- [April 2010] [Being liberal, will you consider overturning the smoking ban or at least relaxing it a little?] No. I mean, I... I have a confession to make - I do take the occasional puffs off cigarettes myself and I understand that if you do, you know, the days of sitting in a pub drinking a pint and having a cigarette are something you feel very attached to. But I am afraid I... You know, one of the first principles of a liberal is that you in a sense allow people to do what they want as much as you can, as long as it doesn't harm others. And smoking is one of those classic examples where it's not a harm-free activity 'cause it harms others around you and therefore I struggled with it a bit, as I should have done, but I voted for the smoking ban and I wouldn't seek to reverse it or dilute it.
- [2010] I've just been away for a week, and I dropped my BlackBerry in the sea while I was messing around with the kids, so no one can reach me. Blissful. I heartily recommend it.
- I like to think that as a father I am very warm and loving but also there are limits. I am quite old-fashioned. I believe the worst thing for a child is spoil them rotten. I think it leads to them becoming adults who are disappointed in life. Kids have to know there are things they can't have and I think that makes them happier individuals. I do give them money. They get money if they do tasks. They have to do their tasks, though. They're pretty easy tasks - clearing their toys up, stuff like that.
- I now realise that what my mum clearly decided was that she had, in a sense, the innocence of her childhood taken away from her and she wanted to protect the innocence of our childhood. And she fostered a very, very happy atmosphere for my brothers and my sister and myself.
- I understand a lot of people on the left, maybe people who read the Observer, they're not happy with the coalition. I do ask them: what would they have done? Couldn't have gone in with Labour. You couldn't have provided a stable government with Labour. If we hadn't gone into coalition with the Conservatives, as night follows day there would have been another election within a few months. You probably would have had an outright Conservative victory.
- I don't know anything about Oxfordshire dinner parties. Look, you're putting me in a very awkward spot. I don't hang out in Oxfordshire at dinner parties. It's not my world. It's never going to be my world.
- I go to the gym once a week - six o'clock in the morning, usually on a Monday, and there's a wonderful bloke who used to be a very professional kickboxer and he puts me through my paces. But I'm no good at it.
- [eating a sandwich live on air and commenting on how Ed Miliband was widely mocked for his own eating habits] This is very unfair, I don't think anyone looks very elegant. I thought it was a bit unfair on poor Ed Miliband. I guarantee you [Nick Ferrari], if you were to eat the rest of it and I was to take thousands of pictures while you were doing it, I could manage to produce an unflattering [photograph] or two of you.
- [on PMQs, Ben Bradshaw addresses the fact that Clegg would now (2014) be denied an operation in Devon because he smokes, as would Eric Pickles because of his size] That's a bit harsh.
- Well look, I'm a human being, I'm not a punch bag - I've of course got feelings.
- What I am doing in my work impacts on them [family members] emotionally, because my nine-year-old is starting to sense things and I'm having to explain things. Like he asks, 'Why are the students angry with you, Papa?'
- I find myself in a doghouse a lot for any number of reasons. It can be for being late home from work, not clearing up, rushing to take the kids to school, failing to write in their reading record books. I worship the ground Miriam walks on. She's forthright and doesn't let me get away with much at home.
- [on David Cameron] I think we've played one game of tennis. Of course we meet from time to time but it's always basically to talk about what we're doing in government. We don't regard each other as mates and actually I don't think it would be a particularly healthy thing if we tried to become personal mates. I don't think a coalition works unless you have a very careful balance between mutual respect and civility and also a certain hardness, as at the end of the day you are representing different views.
- [on David Cameron] We don't really hang out as mates at all. It's straightforward. We're very British. We're polite, respectful. We have long disagreements about stuff but we don't make a drama out of it. We're conscious of the fact we run a coalition together but we don't hang out outside work. We don't have dinner. Miriam and I have had dinner with David and Sam two or three times. I don't think we're mates. I didn't go into politics to find mates. I have lots of friends outside politics who I still see, most of whom think I'm mad for going into politics. I'm not sure it would work very well if we were friends. You need to keep a cool head. You've got to remain unsentimental about what you think is right for the country and your party. If you put friendship above what is right for the country then you're getting it the wrong way round.
- I'm actually not and never have been a rigid Atheist. I was asked once, do I know whether God exists or not, and I'm actually quite agnostic. I don't know. I very, very strongly believe we are spiritual beings. I do believe in a spiritual side of human existence. I also believe in the huge importance of it. I just happen not to be a sort of man of faith and, in one sense, I regard that as much as a fact as a shortcoming. So I'm not a practising Catholic but I would describe myself more as searching rather than being absolutely fixed in my certainties about what does or doesn't exist. And I like to think that's actually what most open-minded people are.
- He's [David Cameron] got a good sense of humour, and he doesn't lose it under pressure. But no doubt I could say that about other politicians from other parties as well.
- I don't do my own cooking and ironing. I'm a rubbish cook. But I think I'm good at getting the kids up. I'm good at getting them dressed, giving them their breakfast, doing their homework, putting them to bed, giving them a bath. I'm good at kids' stuff.
- [Setting aside your differences, which one of your political rivals has impressed you most and why?] Ken Clarke - who has fought all his political life for a moderate, one nation Tory party. People like Ken will find it even harder if the Tories stitch up a right-wing alliance with UKIP or the DUP after May.
- My dad's side of the family had lots of artists and musicians. There's an emotional, quite sentimental quality to Slavic culture. It's very open, it loves art, it loves music, it loves literature. It's very warm, it's very up, it's very down. I would celebrate that. Emotion is not something to be frightened of.
- Why are you [Nick Ferrari] so interested [in me smoking]? [Ferrari: I worry about your health!] That is so kind of you!
- Yeah, I cringed when I saw it. It just shows you can't afford to make tongue-in-cheek remarks with a microphone on your lapel. I mean, look, it's just a bit of banter.
- We're an incredibly close family. I try and do everything I can as a father to protect their innocence. I don't think you'd ever find a photograph of my children in public. Miriam and I thought we don't want our nine-year-old to go to school and have little Jack sitting next to him and saying: 'Oh, I saw you in a Sunday magazine', because I think it'll make them feel different and separate. I want my children to feel normal. And they go to a nice normal school just down the end of the road. We're very lucky. Miriam and I haven't had to move into some battlement in Whitehall. We still live in the home that we did before. We still walk the kids to school.
- I have played variously piano - I think I played until maybe grade three or four, I can't quite remember - guitar and drums. I would love to take up the drums again. And now you can buy these drum kits [where] you put your headphones on. So maybe one day I'll splash out on a drum kit because I enjoyed that particularly.
- [What is the best attribute you have as a leader or potential Prime Minister?] I am resilient, and a team player. In forming a coalition to provide the strong, stable government the country needed at a time of economic crisis I hope I have shown I can put national interest ahead of party interest.
- [If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?] I'd be Prime Minister.
- Look, I'm not going to do this for ever. I'm 44. I'm adamant that what we're doing is the right thing. My conscience is clear. I think that over time people will see that the difficult decisions we are taking now are the right ones, and so on and so forth. But in that process, I want to remain a human being, I don't want to lose my sense of humour. I don't want to clip on the armour every morning. I've seen some politicians do this and they get a bit mangled and bitter. I just refuse to do that. I refuse to be angry or bitter or complain, and I remain open. I may sometimes be a bit too open but I'm not going to change that one bit. It's really important not to allow politics to distort who you are. You've got to hold on to yourself.
- [2011] [I am still smoking] a little bit. Not much. No, not much. Three. Maybe three. Sometimes four. I never have smoked that much. I smoke only in the evenings, out of sight, when the children are asleep. No, no [they don't know I smoke]. So please don't tell them. Yes, I hide in the garden. No, hide is the wrong verb. I cower. I cower. [asked whether he has tried to quit, considering his wife gives him a hard time about his habit] Not much. Not right now. Can I please have one little private sin which I can keep to myself?
- [speaking to David Cameron at the end of a question and answer session without switching his TV microphone off first] If we keep doing this we won't find anything to bloody disagree on in the bloody TV debate.
- [2012] I stopped smoking a few months ago. It's brilliant. I'm not a smoker now. I smoked pretty much non-stop since I was 16, 17. I don't drink a lot. I have some wine at weekends. I like white wine a bit more than red. I've really got into Spanish wine. Good Spanish wine is phenomenal. It's still really underrated.
- You don't want to go into politics. It's not a vocation for the faint-hearted. The most basic paternal instinct is to be protective of your children, so you don't as a natural decision point your children towards vocations like politics.
- I cry regularly to music.
- [on politicians who became involved in public affairs in their teens] I think that's deeply unhealthy. I look at those people that got into politics when they were 16 and are still at it in their late 60s and think, 'My heavens above!'
- [April 2010] There's no greater antidote to the lunacy of modern politics than your own family.
- [April 2010, when asked "How do you relax?"] I play tennis once a week and I am an obsessive skier. If I've had a really long day, I steal into the back garden and have a quick smoke. It's five minutes to myself. It drives (wife) Miriam round the bend. My biggest health worry is long-term sleep deprivation. I wonder whether it does something to you over time. All my mum ever says when she sees me on the telly is, 'You look so tired, dear'.
- One of my favourite moments in power was getting to feed a seal in Cornwall. It was brilliant. [After I sent a picture of my moment with the seal to my children, my parents, my whole family] my baffled sister asked: "Why is this the only picture you've emailed me of yourself in the last several months?" [But] I was so excited about that.
- I've always wanted to make wildlife documentaries.
- [April 2010] [What single thing would improve the quality of your life?] More hours in the day.
- [April 2010] [What makes you depressed?] Needless conflict.
- [April 2010] [What do you most dislike about your appearance?] My stomach. I'm of that age when a big appetite starts to show.
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