"I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to *beep* amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?"
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Michael Moore
"You can't handle the truth!"
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Ozzy Osbourne
"Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."
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Mel Gibson
"A man takes a drop too much once in a while, it's only human nature."
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Michael Bay
"Well, nobody's perfect."
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Simon Cowell
"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
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Gordon Ramsay
"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."
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Charlie Sheen
"We all get a little mad sometimes"
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Madonna
"I have a head for business and a bod for sin."
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Bill Clinton
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
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Caitlyn Jenner
"I'll have what she's having."
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Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg
"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."