- Mr. Drake: Oh, one minute. In what department is that maniac son of mine working today?
- Mrs. Snyder: I don't know, Mr. Drake. Yesterday he was in ladies underwear.
- Mr. Drake: Take him out of ladies underwear and put him in mens pants.
- Mrs. Snyder: Yes, Mr. Drake.
- Drake's Assistant: Heavens, I'm all atwitter. Your son has turned the nursery into a nightclub!
- Mr. Drake: You mean that he's put red hot chorus girls in there too?
- Drake's Assistant: Wait till you see them. Wait till you see them! Sizzling. I was almost overcome with the heat.
- Mr. Drake: I shall give this matter my personal attention.
- Drake's Assistant: He has taken wives from their husbands an husbands from their wives! Oh, Mr. Drake, I've done all that I could to control myself, but I have reached the breaking point.
- Vocalist: [singing] Post Office is a baby game, I've heard people say, Post Office is no baby game, The way we play.
- Vocalist: [singing] Playground man, I have a little plan, How to have a lot of joy, Right in my kitty car, You can go far, But if you take advantage, you're naughty boy.
- Vocalist: [singing] Buy your stockings they're reduced from three to one, And they're guaranteed that they will never run
- Vocalist, Dancing Ensemble: They'll not get ripped so won't you buy, Right to your hips you pull them high, Stockings.
- Mr. Drake: What I see astonishes me. This must stop immediately.
- Freddy Drake: Boy, you haven't seen anything yet, Dad. And if you're interested in figures, just take a peek at that.
- [pointing to chorus girls]
- Drake's Assistant: Merciful heavens!
- Vocalist: [singing] This is life, Forget you have a wife, Won't you teeter-totter me, Then I'll reciprocate, Demonstrate, A movement and improvement.