Satan Met a Lady (1936)

Warren William: Ted Shane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Shayne : What's your name, little girl?

  Miss Murgatroyd : Um, Murgatroyd.

  Ted Shayne : Can you spell it?

  Miss Murgatroyd : Um, M-U-R... oh, no, don't tell me, G-A-T-R-O-Y-D.

  Ted Shayne : Murgatroyd. Sounds like a technical name for killing your mother.

• Ted Shayne : What are you doing tonight?

  Miss Murgatroyd : I've got a date.

  Ted Shayne : Break it, Precious, and you and I will have a lot of fun.

  Miss Murgatroyd : Well, forgive me if I don't break a date I already had. It was with a most thoughtful fellow named - named Shayne.

• Valerie Purvis : I remember you. You're the other man.

  Ted Shayne : That's me, sister. I've often been named as the other man.

• Ted Shayne : Find anything in the divan?

  Anthony Travers : Only a few hairpins and some loose change.

  Ted Shayne : [holding out hat]  Come across!

• Anthony Travers : Then you have the trumpet?

  Ted Shayne : No.

  Anthony Travers : But you know where it is?

  Ted Shayne : Nope.

  Anthony Travers : What? You've just inveigled me into telling you what it is. I say that's a pretty rotten trick, old boy. That's not cricket!

• Detective Dunhill : Ain't you gonna tell us a little bit of something?

  Ted Shayne : Telling you anything would be like contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

• Ted Shayne : You didn't really want to see either of us or you wouldn't be running out of your hotel.

  Valerie Purvis : Oh, I had to leave there. There was a man.

  Ted Shayne : There probably always will be men where you are, Child.

• Ted Shayne : Now tell us, without any phonus bolognus, why you wanted Farrow shadowed.

• Ted Shayne : They've cracked down on racketeers in all the big crime cities and so they've moved in, whole mobs of them, on your nice quiet little city. It's unprepared and unaccomstomed to dealing with their dirty work.

  Mrs. Arden : That sounds logically, all right. And it's logical I need a body guard. Most certainly.

  Ted Shayne : Just be careful who you get. In a city full of crooks, you might get a crook for a guard.

• Mrs. Arden : Don't forget to call me up. I'm in the book.

  Ted Shayne : Mrs. Arden, you're in the bag.

• Ted Shayne : Something told me to come here. Maybe it was because of you.

  Miss Murgatroyd : Something told me to get out of here! Maybe it was because of you.

  Ted Shayne : Your leaving because Ames can't afford to keep you on. Is that it, Kitten?

• Milton Ames : Your own partner, come back.

  Ted Shayne : What for?

  Milton Ames : To save you from further wild goose chases after pet poodles.

• Ted Shayne : Mrs. R. Manchester Arden is a grand dame I met on the train. Very - doughy. With flesh and money both. Enough money to believe my story that she needed a body guard because this town was full of crooks.

• Milton Ames : Sort of taken things over, haven't you? Office, business, Secretary, everything.

  Ted Shayne : That reminds me, how's your wife?

• Ted Shayne : Is that nice? After all the trouble I've gone through to get you your first case in months, excepting, of course, hounding poodles.

• Milton Ames : Miss Purvis has got trouble. She wants us to take care of it.

  Ted Shayne : She came to the right place.

  Valerie Purvis : Can you help me?

  Ted Shayne : If anybody can, we can. What's your trouble?

• Ted Shayne : Well, Moonbeam, where do we go from here?

  Babe : I thought you'd know that. You're supposed to be the man who knows all the answers.

• Detective Dunhill : I got out to the graveyard just after you left. Sorry I missed ya.

  Ted Shayne : Yeah, so am I. There's no place I'd rather see you than at a graveyard.

• Detective Dunhill : Farrow died before he could say who shot him.

  Ted Shayne : But, you're not a man to need his word for it.

• Ted Shayne : Babe and I are trucking along, if you're through.

  Detective Dunhill : Not so fast!

  Ted Shayne : You're not ready to pinch me yet, are you Pollock?

  Detective Dunhill : No, not yet.

  Ted Shayne : Swell! Come on, Heartthrob.

• Ted Shayne : Oh, poor Kitten.

  Astrid Ames : Oh, Shayne. Did you really kill him?

  Ted Shayne : Ahh! Who put that bright idea in your pretty little head?

  Astrid Ames : Be kind to me, Shayne.

• Ted Shayne : How long do you have to wear black, Honey?

  Astrid Ames : [smiles]  Don't you like me in black?

  Ted Shayne : Oh, you look so good that people will think that you killed Ames just so you could have mourning clothes to make you look more gorgeous.

• Kenneth - Barabbas's Young Gunman : Get funny with me and I'll have to fog ya!

  Ted Shayne : Fog me? That's what you've been trying to do isn't it? Following me around, smoking smelly stogies?

• Anthony Travers : Having failed to rob you of it, I suppose I'll have to pay you for the return of the Horn. Shall we say $2,000?

  Ted Shayne : Say 5,000 and you've said something.

  Anthony Travers : Very well, 5,000.

  Ted Shayne : You could offer me a million for a purple elephant, but, that wouldn't mean a thing.

• Anthony Travers : You do know something about the history of that period?

  Ted Shayne : Oh, well, I know a double cross when I hear one.

  Anthony Travers : Well, unfortunately, Charlemagne didn't, old boy. When the French withdrew, our jolly old friend Roland was in charge of the rear!

• Anthony Travers : Roland, in spite of his shaky predicament, refused to *blow* his Horn until he found he was the lone French survivor and new he was dying.

  Ted Shayne : Well, it was too late then for him to blow anything but Taps!

• Ted Shayne : How much of that tripe you've been telling me is on the level?

  Anthony Travers : Tripe, as you call it, happens to be the true history of the Trumpet and it's real value. And that's why...

  Ted Shayne : Darkies were born!

• Ted Shayne : I know it sounds silly, Honey, but for $500 they can tell me stories like that and wreck my joint everyday.

  Miss Murgatroyd : Huh! For $500...

  Ted Shayne : Yes, I know. I know!

• Ted Shayne : Honey, run down to the Lounge Room at the Buckingham and lounge around and keep your eye on her without getting caught.

• Ted Shayne : Don't worry, Kitten, you know no woman ever made a *chump* out of Papa Shayne.

• Ted Shayne : [being frisked by Valerie]  Remember, if you fail to guess my weight, I get a Baby Doll to take home!

• Ted Shayne : Your English friend called on me today. It seems he wants me to find him some old French Horn.

  Valerie Purvis : I suppose if somebody paid you for it, you'd try and find Santa Claus.

  Ted Shayne : Honey, if they paid me enough, I would!

  Valerie Purvis : Well, you'd have as much chance at finding him as you would at finding me with an old French Horn. If there is any such thing.

• Valerie Purvis : You know, we could mean something to each other. Really! If 5,000 didn't mean so much to you.

  Ted Shayne : Darling, that 5,000 is only for the delivery of some silly old saxophone I don't even know exists. But, I do know about you. Maybe, after I've cleared up a few murders, you and I could have a lot of fun.

• Detective Pollock : You seem to be having plenty of trouble lately, Shayne. Even at home. Your joint's all torn up.

  Ted Shayne : Uh-huh. Looks like I got married, doesn't it.

• Ted Shayne : You don't think I'm naughty. You just think I'm dumb.

• Ted Shayne : I wasn't kidding. I'll turn you over to the police if you follow me with that beanie on.

  Kenneth - Barabbas's Young Gunman : My boss wants to see you.

  Ted Shayne : Alive?

  Kenneth - Barabbas's Young Gunman : Yeah. But just a few minutes.

• Ted Shayne : That reminds me, that trumpet of Roland's, what did you do with it?

  Valerie Purvis : Didn't I tell you? I lost it the other day when I was taking a bath. Yes, you know, I was blowing away on it and my hands were soapy and I blew so hard that it slipped right out of my grasp.

• Ted Shayne : You've got to go, Sweetness.

• Ted Shayne : That was a pip! A nice, neat, little trick.

• Ted Shayne : My love, a graveyard's famous as a nice safe place for lovemaking.

• Valerie Purvis : I thought you cared about me?

  Ted Shayne : I do, Valerie. But, I won't play the sap for you.