A Damsel in Distress (1937)

George Burns: George

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gracie : [Gracie answers the telephone]  It's a Hawaiian.

  George : A Hawaiian?

  Gracie : Well he must be. He says he's Brown from The Morning Sun.

• Lord John Marshmorton : Miss Allen, is he coming here tonight, your friend Mr. Halliday?

  Gracie : Oh, well sure he's not coming here and do you know why he's not coming here tonight? Because he wasn't invited, that's why he's not coming here tonight, Lord Marshmallow.

  George : Gracie, it's Marshmorton, not Marshmallow.

  Gracie : That's what I said, Marshmallow.

  George : Look, Gracie, "marshmallow" is soft and mushy.

  Gracie : Oh, please, George! You don't know this gentleman well enough to say that about him.

  George : [to Lord Marshmorton]  I'm sorry, would you explain that please?

  Lord John Marshmorton : Certainly. Miss Allen, have you ever seen a toasted marshmallow?

  Gracie : No, but I'm dying to see that. I bet you're a scream!

• George : If it weren't for your father you wouldn't be working for me for two weeks. You wouldn't even be working for me for two days. Not even for two minutes!

  Gracie : Well, a girl couldn't ask for shorter hours than that!

• George : If you're not here on time, I'll have to get myself another stenographer.

  Gracie : Another stenographer? Do you think there's enough work for the two of us?

  George : Look. I mean I'm going to fire you.

  Gracie : Fire me?

  George : Yes!

  Gracie : Why, if it weren't for my father backing Jerry Halliday's first show in the United States

  George , Gracie : You wouldn't be here in London now. Now!

• Jerry Halliday : Come on.

  George : No, no. Not me. I don't get pleasure out of these things.

  Gracie : Oh, come along, George, for the fun of it. It's lots of fun having fun, even if you don't enjoy it. Heel!

• Jerry Halliday : What's today?

  Gracie : Oh, I don't know.

  George : Well, you can tell if you look at that newspaper on your desk.

  Gracie : Oh, this is no help, George. It's yesterday's paper.

• Gracie : You know, if it weren't for two things you'd be a terrific dancer.

  George : What's that?

  Gracie : Your feet.

• George : Did you type that letter I dictated last night?

  Gracie : Well, no. I didn't have time; so, I mailed 'em my notebook. I hope they can read my shorthand.

  George : You mailed your notebook? You know, Gracie, I'm beginning to think that there's nothing up here.

  [taps his temples] 

  Gracie : Ah, George. You're self-conscious.

• George : You'll have to talk to my secretary. She's not in yet. You better call about 12 o'clock. She'll be in then to go out to lunch.

• George : Listen, Gracie. In England there are several titles for the nobility: Lords, Dukes, Earls.

  Gracie : Oh, that's my daddy! If he ever gets his dukes on the Earl Company's money, Lord help 'em!

• George : Look, it's got a coat of arms. It's a bona fide castle.

  Gracie : Oh, that's where Napoleon came from.

  George : Napoleon?

  Gracie : Yeah, Napoleon Bona-fide.

• Gracie : Oh, George, you must lose that Brooklyn accent. You mean "oil".

  George : I mean "Earl". Oil and Earl are two different things. Your daddy doesn't go to bed oily, does he?

  Gracie : He did when he worked for the gas station.

• Keggs : I am happy to relate that his Lordship is the owner of no fewer than 15 hundred cows.

  George : Does he herd sheep?

  Gracie : Oh, George, you can't say, "Does he heard sheep?" You mean, "Does he hear sheep?" or "Has he heard sheep?" But you can't say...

  Keggs , George , Gracie : Does he heard sheep? No.

• George : Let's go outside. When a man is in love, he wants to be by himself with the girl he loves.

  Gracie : Yeah? Oh, Georgie, I didn't know you felt that way about me?

  George : Yes, this is so sudden.

  Gracie : Yeah!

  George : Come on.

• George : I don't like those things. I never did, and I never will. Jerry, don't get me a ticket.

  Jerry Halliday : Why not?

  George : Because I've got a weak heart.

  Gracie : Oh, don't be silly, George! If Jerry pays for the ticket, how can that affect *your* heart?

• Gracie : Oh, you're still alive, huh?

  Jerry Halliday : Alive? I've just begun to live.

  George : You've just begun to live?

  Jerry Halliday : Why, I've just begun to live.

  Gracie : Oh, he's just begun to live.

  Jerry Halliday : [singing]  Oh, I've just begun to live

  Gracie , George , Jerry Halliday : I've just begun to live,

  Jerry Halliday : Yes!

  Gracie , George , Jerry Halliday : I've just begun to live, I've just begun to live Oh, I've just begun to live, I've just begun to live!

  [tap dancing] 

• George : Gracie, we're guests.

  Gracie : Oh, that's all right. So are we.