- Dr. Bright: Have you ever sold anything?
- Larry: Have we ever SOLD anything!
- Moe: Have we ever SOLD anything!
- Curly: Have we?
- Moe: [in a hospital, in a room with a microphone connected to the loudspeaker, hits the three skulls to make a musical jingle then hits Curly on the head] Hello, everybody, we just brought the moon over the mountain.
- Curly: Hello, Ma. Hello, Pa. It wasn't much of a fight. I stood like that. But not for long.
- [Moe hits him on the head]
- Moe: Quiet. This broadcast comes to you through the courtesy of Brighto and its six delicious flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, cranberry, strawberry...
- Curly: And raspberry.
- [Moe slaps him]
- Curly: Ouch! It's still raspberry.
- [sticks his tongue out, Moe hits him on the head]
- Curly: Ow!
- Moe: Now keep quiet or I'll sock you again.
- Larry: Are you listening. V-v-v-voo. V-v-v-voo. V-v-v...
- [Moe hits him with a backhand punch in the face]
- Moe: Now, don't go away, gentlemen. We'll soon be with you.
- Moe, Curly, Larry: Zheee. Boom! Cuckoo!
- Dr. Bright: Well boys, how did it go?
- Curly: We rubbed it on a man's car, and it took the paint right off. That polish ain't no good.
- Dr. Bright: Polish? You idiots, that's medicine!
- Curly: Medicine?
- [Curly drinks a bottle]
- Curly: I feel better already!
- Moe: What was wrong with you?
- Curly: Nothing.
- [Moe slaps Curly]
- Larry: Could I sell you a bottle of this Brighto? I just found out it cleans Panama hats and furniture. Also, if you have a knickknack with a nick in it, we'll knock the nick out of the knickknack with Brighto.
- [with his leg sticking through a hole in a fence, unbeknownst to him, a dog grabs him by the pant leg]
- Larry: Dr. Bright said...
- Policeman: [seeing him thump against the fence] What's the matter?
- Larry: I think I got somethin'. Or something's got me.
- Moe: [escaping from Dr. Arms on a gurney after realizing they ruined his car's paint job] Give it gas, boys. Give it gas.
- Larry: They're gainin' on us. More speed, more speed.
- Curly: I got it wide open.
- Moe: Well, open it wider.
- Curly: I can't. I can't find the clutch.
- [sound of him getting slapped]
- Curly: Ohh!
- Curly: Brighto? Mister, can I rub a little of this on your body?
- [he flinches realizing it's a woman]
- Lady By Car: You just try that if you want a good punch in the nose.
- Driver Who Gives Curly a Ride: Want a ride?
- Curly: No. Want to buy a bottle of Brighto?
- Driver Who Gives Curly a Ride: No.
- Curly: [getting in] Then I'll take a ride. Hey, wait a minute, turn around quick.
- [the driver makes a U-turn to the other side of the street]
- Curly: Hey, stop. Wait a minute.
- Driver Who Gives Curly a Ride: Well, what's the matter?
- Curly: Nothing. This is as far as I go.
- [getting eye-poked]
- Curly: Ooh!
- Moe: [on a gurney and colliding with a hospital patient in a wheelchair] What's the idea of going through a boulevard stop?
- Larry: Look at our fender.
- Curly: Soitenly. Where's your operator's license?
- Moe: Why don't you say something?
- Curly: [before he can speak] That's enough.
- Moe: Just as I thought, drunk driving. Give him a ticket.
- Larry: One-way or round-trip?
- Moe: Make it a one-way round-trip...
- [conking him on the forehead]
- Moe: What do you want?
- Sleeping Patient: [awoken after sleeping for 87 days] Why, you idiots, I've been trying to beat Rip Van Winkle's record. I wanna go to sleep. Put me to sleep!
- Moe: Boys, put.
- [Curly and Larry bonk him on the head with mallets, and Curly puts a "Quiet, do not disturb" sign on his chest]
- Curly: Nighty-night.