Healthy, Wealthy and Dumb (1938)
Curly Howard: Curly Howard
Quotes
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Curly Howard : [a bathtub is behind a door that they open] Ohhhh, a rowboat.
Larry : A rowboat, you're crazy. That's a horse troph.
Moe : Rowboat, horse troph. In a hotel? That's a bathtub, you imbeciles. Go take a bath.
Larry : But we can't. It ain't spring yet.
Moe : Oh yes it is. See the pretty grass?
Larry : [looks toward the bathtub] Where?
Moe : [Moe shoves him in and closes the door. Curly giggles] You're next.
Curly Howard : But I had a bath.
Moe : When?
Curly Howard : July 14, 1910. I was too young to fight about it then.
Moe : What are you gonna do now?
Curly Howard : Take a bath.
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Curly Howard : [Curly reads a telegram of their prize money and sees that taxes reduced their prise money into $4.95] Nyaaaaa...
[faints, Larry grabs it. Reads it]
Larry : They'll put us in jail!
[faints, Moe grabs it]
Hotel Costa Plente room service : Did he say jail?
Moe : No, Yale. He's got a brother in college with two heads. They got him in a bottle.
[Looks at the telegram for a second and flinches]
Hotel Costa Plente room service : Is something wrong?
Moe : Nothing. The figures stagger me.
Hotel Costa Plente room service : And so will your bill.
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Curly Howard : [Thinks the canopy bed is a bunk bed, steps up Moe to get to the top. Feels it] I'll be able to sleep up here for a week, this bed is so soft. Give me a call for Wednesday.
[Lays on his back and then the bed collapses]
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Moe : [Drinks a whole bottle of champagne. Followed by a faint rumbling noise] This bottle sounds flat.
Moe : Try another.
Curly Howard : [gets a bottle of champagne from the tray] I'll sharpen this one up.
[Shakes it, then opens it with foam squirting out. Curly puts it in his mouth and champagne sprays out of his ears. Then stops after a while]
Curly Howard : Boy, did I sharpen that bottle.
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Hotel Manager : This bed goes back to Henry the Eighth.
Curly Howard : That's nothing. We had a bed that went back to Sears Roebuck the Third.
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[first lines]
Larry : How many?
Moe : I'll take three.
Larry : I'll take the same.
Moe : I bet two.
[Moe puts two pancakes on the center plate]
Larry : I'll see those two, and I'll raise you five!
[Larry puts his entire stack on the center plate]
Moe : I'd better win today I haven't had breakfast in a week!
Larry : Well the best man always wins.
Moe : Well there's four... Hey I need some more chips!
[the camera moves over to Curly flipping a pancake in a frying pan]
Moe : Hurry it up with those chips!
[Curly comes over to the table]
Curly Howard : I'm getting sick and tired of making chips for you guys, I gotta get busy for my radio contest!
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Moe : [picks up a glass] A toast.
Larry : [picks up a glass] A toast.
Curly Howard : [picks up air] A toast.
[Sees that there is no glass]
Curly Howard : Roses are red, violets are blue, there's no glass for me, so hot cakes to you. Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk.
[Moe and Larry throw pancakes onto his face]
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Curly Howard : Roses are red, and violets are blue, try Stick-Fast glue, and you'll be stuck to, oh boy I got it, if I make the best slogan I'll win a lot of money!
Moe : Oh your crazy, you've been sending those in for weeks, nobody ever wins those.
Larry : Yeah, why don't you play cards and prove your mind? What there is of it.
Curly Howard : See the money I get!