Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages, we're going to present for your approval a novelty picture with an all midget cast, the first of it's kind to ever be produced. I'm told that it has everything, that is everything that a western should have.
The Ranch Owner (Pop Lawson): Seems to me that I smell something that should be buried - smells mighty like a polecat.
The Rich Uncle (Jim 'Tex' Preston): Why, you!
The Hero (Buck Lawson): I'm the hero. After this picture's out, I'll be the biggest cowboy star in Hollywood.
The Villain (Bat Haines): I'm the villain. I'm the toughest hombre that ever lived, and I ain't afraid o' the biggest one o' you. I'm the Terror of Tiny Town, and that's the star part.
The Hero (Buck Lawson): That's what you think.
The Villain (Bat Haines): Ye-eah. That's what I think!
Announcer: Wait a minute! Men! Men! Wait a minute!
The Sheriff: I'm warnin' you, Tex. Don't start no trouble in town.
The Rich Uncle (Jim 'Tex' Preston): I don't want trouble. But I won't run away from it, either!
First cowpoke: I wonder who those hombres are?
Second cowpoke: Let's pick up the trail and see what they're up to.
The Hero (Buck Lawson): Dad, I jumped a bunch o' rustlers at work.
The Ranch Owner (Pop Lawson): Rustlers!
The Hero (Buck Lawson): They left in such a hurry, they forgot their branding iron.
The Ranch Owner (Pop Lawson): (examining iron) Cheap Work Pete!
The Hero (Buck Lawson): That's the way I read it.
The Ranch Owner (Pop Lawson): Why that low-down ki-yoat!