Dancing Co-Ed (1939)
Roscoe Karns: Joe Drews
Photos
Quotes
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Miss May : Mr Drews, you've got to pick her this time.
Joe Drews : Pick who?
Miss May : Miss Marlow.
Joe Drews : Which one is she?
Miss May : I've been pointing her out to you ever since we started - the one over there with the cute face.
Joe Drews : Something must be wrong with me today, I can't even see their faces.
Miss May : But this is so unfair. Miss Marlow is obviously the best dancer in my class and yet you...
Joe Drews : Alright, Jenny, we'll consider it.
[to Freddy, who shrugs]
Joe Drews : What do you think?
Joe Drews : [pointing to a fat girl] How about those two girls on the end?
Miss May : That's just one girl. How could you possibly consider her?
Joe Drews : Why not? It's terrific value!
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Joe Drews : What does "Dancing Co-Ed" suggest to you?
H.W. Workman : Headache!
Joe Drews : Right, college girl. Now, my idea is to hold a contest. Visualize. Think of all the college girls in the United States jitterbugging from coast to coast.
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Joe Drews : All's we need is a dancing partner for Freddy. I know we can't get Powell or Rogers or any of those; so, our best bet is an unknown.
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Freddy Tobin : How do I know she can dance?
Joe Drews : Sam, beyond that door there's a piano, play it. Patty, in the same room there's a floor, tap it. Freddy, that amazing room also has a chair, sit on it!
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Joe Drews : Sam, you're staying right here in your own stomping ground and I'll take care of you in the style to which you've been accustomed.
'Pops' Marlow : Oh, no you don't. None of that cheap stuff for me.
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Joe Drews : Here's the answer to all your worries. The problem's solved.
Freddy Tobin : I don't get it.
Joe Drews : Look, let's say I'm a farmer and I've got ambitions to grow artichokes. And you come along, an old artichoke grower, and tell me they're tough to raise. Am I dumb? Never mind, I'll answer myself, "No." So, just in case my artichoke crops a flop, I plant potatoes too. And Patty's our potato.
Patty Marlow : What?
Joe Drews : Honey, you're about to be planted.
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Joe Drews : So help me Michael, if Freddy don't like the kid after all this, I'm going to take the first boat to the south seas and spend the rest of my life splitting hairs with a meat ax!
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Joe Drews : That's great. That's gratitude. People don't even wait for you to bend over any more before they kick you in the pants.
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Joe Drews : And so the zero hour has finally arrived. First girl up is that lovely little package: Miss 'Toots' Martin.
