No Census, No Feeling (1940)

Larry Fine: Larry

Quotes 

• Moe : Now, calm yourself. We're census takers, madam. How old are you?

  Larry : What address is this?

  Lady having bridge party : One hundred and two.

  Moe : You don't look a day over eighty.

  Lady having bridge party : Young man, I'm twenty-nine.

  Moe : Oh, yeah?

  Lady having bridge party : Well, how do I look?

  Moe : Oh, you look like a million.

  Larry : Ah, she can't be that old. (Larry and Moe open her mouth and check her teeth.) Forty-three.

  Moe : Fifty.

  Larry : Forty-three!

  Moe : Fifty!

  Larry : Forty-three!

  Moe : Fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, (mouth begins to move much faster) fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty...

  Curly : Sooold American!

• Moe : Pardon us, madame, we're census takers. What's your name?

  Larry : And your address?

  Curly : What's more important, what's your phone number? Nyuk, nyuk...

  [Woman hits them with her purse] 

• Moe : Boy, you got brains like Napoleon.

  Larry : Napoleon's dead.

  Moe : I know it.

• Moe : [not realizing he is getting replies from Larry]  Pardon me sir, but I'm taking census, where were you born?

  Larry : Lake Winnipesaukee.

  Moe : Lake Winnip-how many in the family?

  Larry : I was one of a litter of three.

  Moe : Now don't tell me you're the one they kept!

  Larry : Nah, I was the one they threw away!

• Larry : [after all three are unable to find anyone else to interview]  Where is everybody?

  Curly : Maybe it's The Fourth of July.

  Moe : The Fourth of July in October?

  Curly : You never can tell... look what they did to Thanksgiving!