No Census, No Feeling (1940)
Curly Howard: Curly
Quotes
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Moe : Now, calm yourself. We're census takers, madam. How old are you?
Larry : What address is this?
Lady having bridge party : One hundred and two.
Moe : You don't look a day over eighty.
Lady having bridge party : Young man, I'm twenty-nine.
Moe : Oh, yeah?
Lady having bridge party : Well, how do I look?
Moe : Oh, you look like a million.
Larry : Ah, she can't be that old. (Larry and Moe open her mouth and check her teeth.) Forty-three.
Moe : Fifty.
Larry : Forty-three!
Moe : Fifty!
Larry : Forty-three!
Moe : Fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, (mouth begins to move much faster) fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty...
Curly : Sooold American!
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Curly : Roses are red, and how do you do? Drink four of these and woo, woo, woo, woo!
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Curly : I'm gettin' sick and tired of this! How old are you?
Football player : Ninteen!
Curly : Now we're gettin' somewhere!
Football player : Eighty-three! Twenty-seven! Twenty-two!
Curly : Why don't you make up your mind?
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Moe : Boy, look at that. There must be a hundred thousand people in there. We'll make a fortune!
Curly : Woo-woo!
Moe : How much is four cents times a hundred thousand?
Curly : [With shock] Nyahhh...
[gives in, stands up straight and begins to type in the air with typewriter sound effects. Sweeps his head with the sound of the typewriter bar being pushed back. Finally pulls a strip of paper from his mouth. Reads paper]
Curly : A dollar and a half.
Moe : A dollar and a half?
Curly : That's without the tax!