- Field Marshal Herring: [Moe, playing pool, curls the cue ball back to where it stated] Oh! You used too much English.
- Hailstone the Dictator: Never speak that word in this house!
- Prank caller: Hello? Have you got anything on tonight?
- Field Marshal Herring: No, not at all.
- Prank caller: You'll catch cold.
- Hailstone the Dictator: Ah, who might you be, fair one?
- Princess Gilda: I am your new astrologer, the Seeress of Roebuck.
- Larry Pebble: Oh! Was your father the Seer of Roebuck?
- Princess Gilda: Oh, no! I was raised by Montgomery.
- Field Marshal Herring: Oh, Montgomery's Ward! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
- Hailstone the Dictator: [clearing his throat] You must help me get in touch with the stars.
- Larry Pebble: Yeah, me too. I'll take Lamarr.
- Field Marshal Herring: I'll take Lamour.
- Hailstone the Dictator: I'll take La Zonga with six lessons. Ha ha!
- Field Marshal Herring: Ooh, your army's on the march again. This morning, they took Paregoric.
- Hailstone the Dictator: Paregoric, eh? Good, good, good, good! Eh, go on!
- Field Marshal Herring: Then they took Pinochle with 1650 points... um, I mean prisoners, 84 tanks. Brooklyn: 7, New York: 3. It's Seabiscuit in the stretch, Gallahadion is coming up! It's Biscuit and Gallahadion, Gallahadion and Biscuit! Gallahadion wins!
- Hailstone the Dictator: Plotz!
- [the Stooges sit down at the dinner table]
- Hailstone the Dictator: Marshall Herring, our first move is to kick the stuffing out of Turkey!
- Larry Pebble: I'll wipe out Greece!
- Hailstone the Dictator: Wait a minute! Chizzelini tried it, and look what happened!
- Hailstone the Dictator: Quiet!
- [Hailstone hits Herring with a turkey drumstick]
- Field Marshal Herring: Ow! I want a piece of turkey!
- Larry Pebble: Me too!
- Hailstone the Dictator: Oh, so you want a piece of turkey?
- Field Marshal Herring: Yeah, give it to me now!
- Hailstone the Dictator: You got it!
- [Hailstone hits Herring with a drumstick on the chest]
- Hailstone the Dictator: [after knocking out all the Axis Partners]
- [Field Marshall Herring holding a globe]
- Hailstone the Dictator: I have vanquished them, I am the winner, the world belongs to me. Give it to me.
- Field Marshal Herring: No, it's mine!
- Hailstone the Dictator: Give me that world, Herring. Or I'll marinate you. Let me have it!
- [Herring smashes it to pieces on Hailstone's head]
- Hailstone the Dictator: My world... You nitwit, you shattered my world!
- [Hailstone and Minister of Propaganda chase Herring around the table Hailstone throws a gavel at Herring and misses]
- Field Marshal Herring: Don't do that!
- [Hailstone throws the explosive 13 ball that Princess Gilda put on the pool table, Herring catches it, walks up to Hailstone]
- Field Marshal Herring: Listen, you! I've taken enough of you. This is the last straw!
- [Throws the ball on the floor, all three are obscured by a massive explosion]
- Hailstone the Dictator: I want to know about my armies. Have we taken the dikes of Holland?
- Field Marshal Herring: Soitanly, and the Van Dykes of Amsterdam, and the Updykes of Rotterdam, and the Hunchback of Notre Dam!