- Moe: Now, let me see. The door goes on the right.
- [looking at his hands]
- Moe: Right.
- Curly: [stopping him] Wait a minute. The man said the door goes on the right.
- [he points to his own right, Moe's left]
- Moe: [holding up his fist] What's this?
- Curly: A fist.
- Moe: [bonking him on the head] Right or left?
- [Curly thinks]
- Moe: Oh, ignorant, eh?
- [bonking him again]
- Moe: Now, listen, grapehead. I'll explain it so even you can understand it. Now, here.
- [moving Curly to his side]
- Moe: Get over here. Now, when I say "go", we both point to the right. Go!
- [they point in opposite directions]
- Moe: Hey, porcupine. Come here. Point to the right for this chump, will you?
- [Larry points to his right, which, based on his position, is in a different direction]
- Curly: See?
- Moe: [slapping them both] Get busy.
- Moe: [whispering] It's that crook and he's wearin' a fur coat! Come on!
- [the Stooges come up and Moe gets the gorilla's attention by kicking him in the butt. The Stooges all point their guns at the gorilla]
- Moe: Stick 'em up, Ape Man! We gotcha covered!
- [the gorilla destroys the Stooges' guns]
- Moe: Hey, fellas! Look! No human is strong enough to bend a gun barrel like that!
- Curly: It's real! A real chimmanypanzee!
- Larry: That's no chimp, ya chump! That's a gorilla!
- Larry: That Dill sure had to cheapen the pickle.
- Curly: I'd like to get that ape-man by the throat. I'd tear his ears off, I'd...
- [pantomiming an eye-poking]
- Curly: ...gouge his eyes out.
- Moe: Shut up, Tarzan. You're all wet.
- Curly: [waving him off] Mmm!
- [he puts on his hat, unaware of a glass of water inside, which spills all over him]
- Curly: How did you know?
- Police Detective: The inspector wants to see you down at headquarters.
- Moe, Larry, Curly: [pointing at each other] I didn't do it, he did it.
- Larry: I saw him.
- Curly: I'll be a witness. He had the money right in his hand.
- Police Detective: Relax, you're not under arrest. The inspector has accepted your applications.
- Larry: You mean we're gonna be on the police force?
- Moe: Oh, boy. Free apples.
- Curly: I'll be a manhunter! A bloodhound!
- [he barks like a dog]
- Mr. Dill: Now, look here, commissioner, you've got to catch that ape-man.
- I. Doolittle - Police Commissioner: Just a minute, Mr. Dill. We're doing the best we can. As a matter of fact, we suspect he's not an ape-man but a real gorilla.
- Mr. Dill: Real gorilla, bah! Look here, commissioner, you've got to catch that ape-man.
- [he pounds the table; Curly, trying to eat a walnut, gets an idea and puts it nearby]
- Mr. Dill: [stressing the last word, he crushes it open obliviously] And if you don't, as head of the Citizens' League, I'll have to demand your resignation!
- [clearing it away, Curly lays three more in a row]
- Mr. Dill: I don't wanna make you any trouble, my friend, but this thing has gone far enough.
- [crushing them open in turn, again obliviously]
- Mr. Dill: As a matter of fact, it's gone too far. And something's gotta be done!
- I. Doolittle - Police Commissioner: But, Mr. Dill, give me a chance. We're trying. After all, policemen are only human beings. You know how the newspapers build these things up.
- [throwing the walnuts away, Curly eats the shells]