- Mugs: [to the quartet] And don't forget your crescendos and dim-u-endos. And I don't want no altercations in the lyrics.
- Glimpy: Hey, Mugs, why can't I sing in dat quartet? I used to sing in a quartet wit' six members. I can sing those fortissimos aloud too.
- Mugs: [reading the card on the wreath of flowers the boys brought in] "In loving memory to Louie the Lug from the gang. We didn't mean to shoot you, Louie, honest." Where did you get that?
- Stash: W-w-w on a street.
- Scruno: Yeah, o-on a truck.
- Benny: It fell off.
- Mugs: You know that's sacrelirious?
- Scruno: No kiddin'?
- Mugs: Take it back! You guys think I've no conscience. Can you imagine a thing like...? Hey, wait a minute. Come here. I don't suppose it would be any more sacrelirious if we brought it back AFTER the weddin'. Put it in the parlor.
- Jack: [dejected, sitting on a coach next to Betty, in a quarantined room, surrounded by the East Side Kids] What a honeymoon.
- Mugs: [to Glimpy] Y'always gotta do everything the hard way. Everybody else gets plain, ordinary, common measles. So, you gotta go out and dig up German measles.
- [Glimpy's face is covered in Swastikas]
- Glimpy: Who are you pickin' on me for? Did I know dem guys were Nazis?
- Mugs: You two fellas start to put up the wallpaper over dere, and Rocky and Danny you put up the coitains and drapes - and get 'em nice and cylindrical.
- Mugs: You really think the place looks pretty nice, huh?
- Jack: Oh, it's fine, Mugs.
- Glimpy: Yeah. It could look better with some of them pictures on the wall, those, uh, paintings, those moralls.
- Mugs: Not moralls, morales!
- Jack: Look, uh, you guys mean, uh, murals?
- Mugs: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. He threw me off, you know. He's dumb sometimes.
- Mugs: Well, can you picture dat? I must be havin' optical delusions.
- Lieutenant: What's the matter?
- Mugs: Well, there was a printin' press here ten minutes ago.
- Lieutenant: Ah, just got up and walked away, eh?
- Glimpy: Well, if ink can run, I guess a printing press can walk.
- Mugs: What's goin' on around here? You goin' goofy too? Don't answer that! Just go over and lie down next to Scruno.
- Dave (Rocky): What's funny, dear?
- Jack: Well, that's an old joke. I say, "Can you give us a room and a bath?" And he's supposed to say, "Well, I can give you a room; but, you'll have to take the bath yourself."
- [Betty laughs]
- Mugs: [to Jack] We was decoratin' that house.
- Glimpy: Yeah, we thought it was yours.
- Mugs: We found a printin' press with a lot of Nazi propaganda.
- Glimpy: Yeah, we thought it was yours.
- Mugs: So, we moved it over here.
- Glimpy: Yeah, then we found out that was yours.
- Mugs: So, we moved it back again.
- Jack: Nazi propaganda?
- Mugs: Sure!
- Jack: So, that's why they didn't want us to come out here. Why didn't you call the police?
- Glimpy: We thought it was yours!
- Jack: Is there a phone next door?
- Mugs: Yeah, but that ain't yours.
- Mugs: Remind me when we get back to town to give you the Iron Cross for bravery - right over the skull.
- Mugs: Rocky, M.F. - that's for you.
- Dave (Rocky): M.F.? What does that mean?
- Mugs: Well, I don't know. Look, it says M.F. here. What do I know from those Latin abbreviations.