Photos
Quotes
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Dennis Lindsay : Uncle Matt tells me you couldn't agree on the percentage we were to receive on handling your advertising. What do you think is a fair commission?
Lord Basil Epping : Commission? Oh, Rear Admiral! That's the rank I had in the last war.
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Dennis Lindsay : Can't we get down to business?
Lord Basil Epping : Oh, bother business! After all, business bothers me.
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George Sharpe : I suppose you'll be taking Lady Epping with you?
Lord Basil Epping : Oh, I say, would you take a ham sandwich to a banquet?
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Lord Basil Epping : Didn't you come down here to stalk the moose too?
Dennis Lindsay : No. Oh, yes, Lord Epping! Yes, in deed; but, can't we get this business out of the way first?
Lord Basil Epping : Right. Right. Let's dismiss it for all time. Now, don't bother me again about it, will you?
Dennis Lindsay : Oh, please, your Lordship.
Lord Basil Epping : Oh, hang it all!
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Dennis Lindsay : If you'll just sign right here, your Lordship.
George Sharpe : What's this? What's this? Business? I thought we were up here to go moose hunting. Aren't we?
Lord Basil Epping : Well, certainly. Certainly. There's a sportsman for you. A man after my own heart!
Dennis Lindsay : Yes, I see.
George Sharpe : Why, I didn't even bring a contract up here with me. Of course, I have one waiting at the office with some nice new clauses.
Lord Basil Epping : Yes, but, mooses don't have have clauses.
George Sharpe : That's right! Bears's has claw-es.
Lord Basil Epping : Yes, that's right. Bears's has claw-es.
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Uncle Matt Lindsay : I want to see the blessed event.
Carmelita Lindsay : All right, Uncle Matt. I show to you. Then we come back and make hoopie, yes?
Uncle Matt Lindsay : No.
Carmelita Lindsay : No?
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Yes.
Carmelita Lindsay : Oh, what?
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Uncle Matt Lindsay : Wait a minute Verbena. You don't mean to say the baby actually snapped at you?
Verbena (Carmelita's Maid) : Yes, sah. And the mama too.
Aunt Della Lindsay : I always new she was part animal. Come on, Matthew.
Verbena (Carmelita's Maid) : She's *all* animal.
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Miss Cummings (Sunshine Orphanage) : What can I do for you?
Carmelita Lindsay : We want a baby boy, whose only one week old, and he must be half Irish, half Mexican, and half the United States.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : A he?
Carmelita Lindsay : We want a boy, don't we?
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Not after I told them it was a she.
Carmelita Lindsay : Oh, I forgot! The boy must be a girl.
Miss Cummings (Sunshine Orphanage) : First, let me have some other particulars. Then, we'll discuss sex.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Huh?
Carmelita Lindsay : Huh?
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Lady Ada Epping : Did you hear a bell?
Lord Basil Epping : Oh, hundreds of them. Yes. Big Ben. Bow Bell. Saint James.
Lady Ada Epping : Here.
Lord Basil Epping : They are?
Lady Ada Epping : No.
Lord Basil Epping : Well, why did you say they were?
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Lord Basil Epping : Oh, how do you do?
Lady Ada Epping : Shhh.
Lord Basil Epping : What's the matter?
Lady Ada Epping : Come along, Basil.
Lord Basil Epping : Going bye-bye?
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Uncle Matt Lindsay : Shut up! We're supposed to keep quiet!
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Lord Basil Epping : Say, you do puff out of places.
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Miss Cummings (Sunshine Orphanage) : How long have you been married?
Carmelita Lindsay : Two years.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Seventeen years.
Miss Cummings (Sunshine Orphanage) : I mean, how long have you been married to one another?
Carmelita Lindsay : Oh, but we're not married to one another. He's got a wife and I've got a husband. And I want the baby, so...
Miss Cummings (Sunshine Orphanage) : Stop! I've heard enough. Please don't go into the sordid details.
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Carmelita Lindsay : Uncle Matt, you 'splain to her.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : I will sweetheart.
Miss Cummings (Sunshine Orphanage) : Sweetheart? Uncle? You ought to be ashamed. Get out!
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Wait a minute.
Miss Cummings (Sunshine Orphanage) : I certainly wouldn't trust the likes of a foundling into your care.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Let me explain this. It's pretty simple.
Miss Cummings (Sunshine Orphanage) : It's people like you who are responsible for institutions like this, in the first place! Now, get out!
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Uncle Matt Lindsay : [sees Lord Epping at the bar] The old boy seems to be drinking an early breakfast this morning.
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George Sharpe : Well, you can't fool all the people all the time. Can you?
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Oh, no. Just some of the time.
Carmelita Lindsay : And there is no fool like an old fool.
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Mrs. Pettibone : I'm Mrs. Pettibone.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : You have?
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Lady Ada Epping : Are you quite sure you didn't forget something?
Lord Basil Epping : Something?
Lady Ada Epping : Somehow you look so - incomplete.
Lord Basil Epping : Incomplete? Ada! Have you ever found me wanting in anything?
Lady Ada Epping : Frankly, I have.
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Lady Ada Epping : It's time for lunch, you know, Basil.
Lord Basil Epping : Oh, hang it all. Very well, Ada. Very well. You know that solids give me indigestion.
Lady Ada Epping : Oh, nonsense.
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Lady Ada Epping : You should be glad to join me for lunch.
Lord Basil Epping : Lunch? Lunch. Why don't you learn to like Sherry?
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Uncle Matt Lindsay : I tell you, this is the wrong color!
Carmelita Lindsay : It makes no difference.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Why?
Carmelita Lindsay : It will be all right when its dead!
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Yes, it will be all right when its - dead? What does that have to do with the color?
Carmelita Lindsay : When it's dead, it's dyed. No?
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Lady Ada Epping : You can't go aboard the plane in those trousers!
Lord Basil Epping : Well, I can't go aboard without them.
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Carmelita Lindsay : Yes!
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Carmelita Lindsay : Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : No!
Carmelita Lindsay : Yes!
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George Sharpe : Now, you want a drink, huh?
Lord Basil Epping : Oh, yes, yes. Absolutely. Always have a few spots before lunch, you know. Never eat on an empty stomach.
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Lord Basil Epping : Let's take a look at the delightful little pumpkin.
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George Sharpe : You certainly got rid of that cold in a hurry.
Lord Basil Epping : Cold? What cold?
George Sharpe : Lord Epping, just a few minutes ago, remember, you left here to see the House Physician - with a cold.
Lord Basil Epping : Why I didn't know the House Physician had a cold.
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Lord Basil Epping : You named him after me?
Carmelita Lindsay : Uh-huh. You are his keepsake.
Lord Basil Epping : Yes, a little keepsake. Keep? It should be namesake, of course.
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Uncle Matt Lindsay : [disguised as Lord Epping] You know, you're not only noisy, but, you're very nosy.
Aunt Della Lindsay : Lord Epping, my husband just slammed this door at my face!
Uncle Matt Lindsay : I can't blame him for that. He must be awfully tired looking at it.
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Lady Ada Epping : Come in here, I want you to help me.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : [disguised as Lord Epping] Help you? In there?
Lady Ada Epping : Of course. I can't do it alone.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Can't do what alone?
Lady Ada Epping : I want you to help me dress.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Oh! Dress?
Lady Ada Epping : Yes, I want to try on the costume for the Masquerade Ball tonight. The back would be nothing but snaps. Come on in and snap me up.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : I'm very sorry, I've got something to do.
Lady Ada Epping : Basil, I want you to help me. Basil, I'll be with you as soon as I slip off this robe.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Yes, do that. Huh?
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Uncle Matt Lindsay : [disguised as Lord Epping] How do you do?
Lord Basil Epping : Oh, how do you do? I say, you're face is familiar.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : So is yours.
[exits]
Lady Ada Epping : [from the other room] Basil, stop talking to yourself.
Lord Basil Epping : Yes, yes. Frightful bad habit I've got myself into. I must watch that.
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Uncle Matt Lindsay : [disguised as Lord Epping] I'll return immediately. You know, I have a few important things to do.
Lady Ada Epping : Such as?
Uncle Matt Lindsay : And that too.
Lady Ada Epping : What?
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Oh, I say, you're rather inquisitive, aren't you? None of your business.
Lady Ada Epping : Oh!
Uncle Matt Lindsay : Double O. Cheerio!
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Lady Ada Epping : Oh! Basil! Oh! Oh.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : [disguised as Lord Epping] I say. What's the matter?
Lady Ada Epping : I'm all out of breath.
Uncle Matt Lindsay : That isn't all you're out of.
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Lord Basil Epping : Who's that man who just left the room?
Lady Ada Epping : Basil, you know perfectly well, there's been no one in this room except *you*.
Lord Basil Epping : Me? Oh, of course, yes, that's who it was. Thank you, Ada. Thank you. Thank you.
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Lord Basil Epping : I've had a horrible experience. It's taken everything out of me.
Carmelita Lindsay : You better go and get some more.
Lord Basil Epping : That's a good idea. I have a bottle in my suite.
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Sheriff Fred Walters : [drawing his gun] Look, do you want to get drilled?
Lord Basil Epping : Drilled? You mean: columns right, left turn, right turn?
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Lord Basil Epping : I'm miffed at you!