Gents Without Cents (1944)

Moe Howard: Moe

Quotes 

• [After Curly says Niagara Falls] 

  Moe : Niagara Falls! Slowly I turn... step by step... inch by inch...

• Flo : Who are you, and what are you doing in here?

  Larry : Well... we came up here to break your neck.

  Flo , Mary , Shirley : [threateningly]  Oh, yeah?

  Curly : Wait a minute! That's before we saw you.

  Moe : You see, we live in the room below. We was rehearsing our act, but you were dancing and...

  Curly : [pointing to a spot on his head]  The chandelier hit me in the head.

  Flo : Oh, what an awful lump.

  Curly : That's no lump, that's my head.

• Curly : [Larry bumps into Curly]  Oof! Pardon me, pal.

  Larry : Did you call me pal?

  Curly : Nyaah-ahh!

  Larry : It's been a long time since I heard the word "pal".

  Curly : You too? Haven't you got any friends, either?

  Larry : That's what I was coming to, the dirty rat! He tried to take her away from me! Ah, but he couldn't get away with it, so he trailed me.

  Curly : To Pittsburgh?

  Larry : Yes!

  Curly : Aah-aah-aah! Then you went to Miami, New Orleans, and Dallas?

  Larry : Yes, yes! But how did you know?

  Curly : You'd be surprised. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk...

  Curly : [knocks on the deck floor]  And then he caught you in Niagara Falls.

  Larry : Niagara Falls!

  [Curly makes a nervous turkey gobble sound] 

  Larry : Slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch...

  Curly : Oh no, not that!

  Larry : I picked him up! I smacked him! I hit him! I bonked him! I tore his shirt, and then I knocked him down! What have I done? Blood, the judge, blood! You!

  [Moe arrives onstage] 

  Moe : Ah, there you are, Larry!

  Larry : Why you...

  Moe : Why...

  Larry , Moe : [Moe and Larry shake hands]  Hiya, pal!

  Moe : Heh-heh-heh, I almost caught up with you in Pittsburgh!

  Curly : Go ahead, tell him where you found him.

  Larry : Forget it, it's past history!

  Curly : Why, you cowards! You're afraid to say "Niagara Falls"!

  Larry , Moe : Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch...

  [Moe and Larry chase Curly offstage] 

• Curly : Hiya, pal.

  Moe : You call me pal? Why. I haven't heard that word for years. You know bub, I was once a tramp like you.

  Curly : Oh, congratulations!

  Moe : Ahh, but it wasn't always thus. I can look back to the days of yore when I was a very happy, married man. Then one day, that rat came and destroyed forever all the happiness I had ever known. I'll never forget that day; I just came home from the graveyard shift, and there was the note on the pillow.

  Curly : What did it say?

  Moe : Oh, it was one of those cold-blooded notes: "Dear Moe, I am running away with Larry." I was obsessed with the idea that I must find them; the trail led me to Pittsburgh. I found that I had missed them by three days when I got there, and I swore right there in Pittsburgh that I'd find them and have my revenge. And now on went the chase: Miami, Dallas, New Orleans, and then I came face to face with the rat that had ruined my life. It was in Niagara Falls.

  Moe : [turns around, ominously approaches Curly]  Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch, I walked up to him and I smashed him! I hit him! i bonked him! I bopped him! I socked him! I mashed his face and I knocked him down!

  Curly : Whoa, take it easy bud, take it easy.

  Moe : Excuse me kid, it's that word "Niagara Falls". Every time I hear it, it tears me apart.

  Curly : Oh, it don't do me any good, either. Ungrateful, that's what it is. How do you like a guy like that? I say 'Hello, pal' sort of friendly, and just because I say "Niagara Falls".

  Moe : Niagara Falls!

  Curly : Woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo!

  Moe : Slowly I turn!

  Curly : Please don't!

  Moe : And step by step, inch by inch, I smacked him! I bopped him! I hit him! I bashed him! I beat him! I tore him and I knocked him down!

  Curly : Take it easy, pal. Please, take it easy!

  Moe : Ohh, it's that woman; I'll kill her, and him!

  Curly : Blood?

  Moe : Yes! Rivers of blood! Pools of blood! Ha-ha-ha-ha! The blood! Ha-ha-ha-ha!