- [the Stooges are looking for something to pry open a locked door]
- Larry Fine: [holding a crowbar] You think this'll open it?
- Moe Howard: [taking crowbar] Swell. Where'd you get it?
- Larry Fine: In the house.
- Moe Howard: Oh...
- [Moe turns around and realizes the door is open]
- Moe Howard: In the house?
- Larry Fine: Yeah. Can you use it?
- Moe Howard: And how.
- [Moe bonks Larry on the head with the crowbar]
- Police Officer Jackson: [the police officer hears a sound coming from a trash can] Who's in that can?
- Shemp Howard: Just garbage!
- [Slap]
- Shemp Howard: Oh!
- Captain Mullins: [the captain tries the lie detector on Shemp] Now then, I gotta a couple of questions I wanna ask you!
- Shemp Howard: Me?
- Moe Howard: Yes, and so do I. Did you or did not take that quarter out of my shoe last night?
- Shemp Howard: On my honor, Moe I didn't do it.
- [the alarm goes off]
- Larry Fine: What will it be, sir?
- Customer: I'll take the short ribs.
- Larry Fine: I think we got some delicious chicken soup.
- Customer: Just short ribs.
- Larry Fine: I know but you haven't tried our chicken soup I know because I...
- Customer: [Grabs Larry by the collar] Short ribs!
- Customer: Short ribs. Chicken soup comin' up!
- Moe Howard: It was swell of you to tell the cops we worked here, Ms. Harmon.
- Larry Fine: Yeah, it it wasn't for you, we'd be sent up for life.
- Shemp Howard: You sure got us out of a jam.
- Gladys Harmon: Oh, that's all right, boys. I'm sort of in a jam myself.
- Moe Howard: Yeah? What's the trouble?
- Gladys Harmon: Oh, trying to make a go of this restaurant. I can't afford any help. And most of my customers sign their checks instead of paying.
- Moe Howard: You mean they signed all these?
- Gladys Harmon: Mm-hmm.
- Moe Howard: Why, the dirty chiselers.
- Larry Fine: Who are they?
- Moe Howard: [flipping through] Larry Fine, Larry Fine, La...
- [slapping the bald part of his head]
- Moe Howard: Why, you nitwit!
- Shemp Howard: You got a lot of crust, you have.
- Moe Howard: I wonder whose this is.
- [flipping through]
- Moe Howard: Shemp Howard, Shemp Howard, Shemp...
- [slapping him]
- Moe Howard: What's the matter with you?
- Shemp Howard: I'm coming right back.
- Moe Howard: Hey, this guy must have had a tapeworm.
- [flipping through]
- Moe Howard: Moe Howard, Moe Howard, Moe...
- [seeing their expressions, he slaps them both]
- Moe Howard: What are you guys looking at? Get out of here.
- Shemp Howard: Oh, boy, twelve o'clock. See you later, fellas.
- Moe Howard: Wait a minute. Where do you think you're going?
- Shemp Howard: Out to lunch.
- Moe Howard: A wise guy, huh?
- [slapping him]
- Moe Howard: Listen, if the customers can stand to eat your cooking, so can you. Sit down.
- Shemp Howard: Hey, Moe! Hey, Moe!
- Moe Howard: What do you want?
- Shemp Howard: Moe!
- Moe Howard: What is it?
- Shemp Howard: I had a piece of pipe in my hand. It disappeared right out of my hands.
- Moe Howard: Maybe it's still in your hand.
- Shemp Howard: [showing his empty hands] No!
- [Moe slaps his hands upward, causing Shemp to hit himself in the face]