Douglas D. Coppin: Soldier
Quotes
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Soldier : Which one of you is Cedric the blacksmith?
Moe : Not me. We're three troubadours on the way to the court of King Arthur.
Soldier : Troubadours?
Shemp : Yeah, sing and dancing, like this. A one, a two, a three.
Shemp , Moe , Larry : [singing] So, we stuck our little tootsies in the water/And we ducked under the waves, we dip, ha ha.
Soldier : [slapping them] If you're troubadours, why the armor?
Shemp : Well, listen, sarge, did you ever see a troubadour get hit in the kisser with a nice, ripe tomato? Look, you see a tomato coming...
[shutting the mask of his helmet]
Shemp : ...wham! You close the door.
[opening it again]
Shemp : When the critics are all through, then you open it up again.
Moe : And the way we sing, sometimes they throw rocks.
Soldier : I can believe that.
-
Soldier : If you see Cedric the smith, report the news to the Black Prince and you'll be well-rewarded. He's sworn to have Cedric's head.
Larry : What does he want Cedric's head for? Ain't he got one of his own?
Shemp : You dope. Two heads are better than one.
Larry : Two heads are better!
[they laugh; Moe joins them sarcastically, then slaps them]
Moe : [doing the "beheading" gesture] You idiots. They're gonna give him a haircut down to here.
Larry : I'd hate to be in his shoes.
Shemp : I'd hate to be in his collar.
Moe : I'd hate to be him.
