You Bet Your Life (1950–1961)

Groucho Marx: Self - Host, Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Groucho : Why do you have so many children?

  Female Contestant : Well, I love my husband very much.

  Groucho : Hey, I enjoy a good cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

• Groucho : If we got together as an act, what would it be called?

  Contestant : It would be Gonzales-Gonzales and Marx.

  Groucho : [to audience]  Do you believe that? Two men in the act, and I get third billing!

• Groucho : May I kiss your wife?

  Contestant : That would have to be over my dead body.

  Groucho : Have it your way. Fenneman, get the gun!

• Female Contestant : I met this gentleman in Laguna Beach...

  Groucho : There *are* no gentlemen in Laguna Beach.

  Female Contestant : Well, this gentleman is now abroad.

  Groucho : [pause while the audience titters]  Couldn't be Christine, could it?

• Contestant : [Groucho has just asked a question]  Well, I believe in doing it the old-fashioned way.

  Groucho : [Groucho looks down and smiles. The audience begins to giggle. Groucho then looks up]  You know I must have some reputation. There isn't anything anyone can say on this stage that won't evoke some kind of a dirty laugh from the audience...

  [trying to keep from laughing] 

  Groucho : What do you mean, 'the old fashioned-way'?

  [loses all seriousness, doubles over laughing] 

• Announcer : Our next contestants are Marika Aba...

  Groucho : And a happy new year.