Watch the Birdie (1950)

Richard Rober: Mr. Hugh Shanway

Quotes 

• Mr. Hugh Shanway : Naturally, Mr. Farns, the bank will want my report before granting the completion loan; I imagine that money's rather important to you.

  Grantland D. Farns : Important? Without that money, we can't finish this project. You know that as well as we do, and a bad report from you might force Miss Corlane to sell out, probably at a big sacrifice.

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : You do work for Miss Corlane, don't you?

  Grantland D. Farns : Well, Mr. Shanway, I guess I'm like every other smart man in the world: I really work for me.

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : [horn honks]  Isn't that your boss now?

  Grantland D. Farns : [car pulls up]  You finish looking around, I'll see you later, buy you a drink.

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : A drink might be a good idea.

  Grantland D. Farns : We have to drink a toast to my favorite subject: money.

• Grantland D. Farns : Now, here's an example: supposing the bank thought that some of the lumber we used was green and unseasoned.

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : Just for the sake of argument, making no promises, put that into words.

  Grantland D. Farns : Well, you can get yourself $10,000 cash by having your report show green lumber, bad concrete; anything that will delay the bank from making the final loan.

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : Ten thousand?

  Grantland D. Farns : Ten, and ten more when Miss Corlane loses the place to some friends of mine

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : I can't say you didn't put it into words.

  Grantland D. Farns : I'll put it into money anytime you say.

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : No time like this afternoon.

  [Farns and Shanway walk away from the site, unaware that a camera has just filmed their conversation] 

• Mrs. Shanway : [from the film]  It is my privilege to turn the first spadeful of earth

  [the video portion of the film abruptly changes from Mrs. Shanway to a turkey with Mrs. Shanway's voice due to a film error] 

  Mrs. Shanway : of the second unit of Lucky Vista...

  Mrs. Shanway : Why, that's my speech! That horrible turkey is making my speech!

  Rusty Cammeron : Well, Mrs. Shanway, it's not the film's fault, it's- it's that projector.

  Movie Projectionist : Nothing wrong with my projector!

  Rusty Cammeron : Why, there must be, we didn't shoot anything like...

  Mrs. Shanway : [the film continues]  In honored memory of that estimable, that foresighted, that public spirited industrialist, the late lamented Cornelius -

  [the audio switches to a turkey gobbling] 

  Mrs. Shanway : [Miss Lucky Vista quietly laughs to herself]  Oh! That's the most humiliating thing I've ever seen! You stop this picture at once!

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : Me? I didn't have anything to do with it!

• Miss Lucky Vista : [Miss Lucky Vista runs into Mr. Shanway's arms]  Oh, why Mr. Shanway, why I had no idea you were so strong.

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't the prettiest girl I ever saw.

  Miss Lucky Vista : You shouldn't say that, you're a married man.

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : Let's forget about the old battle-ax.

  Mrs. Shanway : Ohh! Ohh!

  Lucia Corlane : Please turn it off.

  [the film ends and the lights go on] 

  Mrs. Shanway : Hugh Shanway, you worm! You viper!

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : But honey, it...

  Mrs. Shanway : "Old battle-ax", huh? You know very well I'm only 29!

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : Honey, use some sense, that film's all mixed up. You know you didn't talk like a turkey to those people.

  Mrs. Shanway : You didn't talk like a married man to that skin tomato!

  Mr. Hugh Shanway : Oh honey, that dialogue was from another scene.

  Mrs. Shanway : And as for you trying to steal my husband, I ought to have you arrested for petty larceny!

  Miss Lucky Vista : Well what is she -

  [Mrs. Shanway pushes Miss Lucky Vista down into a chair and leaves] 

  Miss Lucky Vista : I don't know why she's so jealous of me, I'm not jealous of her!