Here Come the Girls (1953)

Bob Hope: Stanley Snodgrass

Quotes 

• Stanley Snodgrass : My ministers do not control me, O Princess of magnificent beauty. Only I make the decisions that are... continued on next girl.

• Stanley Snodgrass : How can my public discover me if Fraser keeps kickin' me out of his shows? In the chorus, you've danced behind a lot of big stars, Daisy, and from the back, don't I have as much as any of them?

  Daisy Crockett : More, Stanley.

• Stanley Snodgrass : Failing is the only thing I've ever been a success at.

• [Stanley is literally thrown out of his Broadway show] 

  Daisy Crockett : [noting Stanley still in costume]  You should have changed into your own clothes.

  Stanley Snodgrass : In mid-air?

• Albert Snodgrass : [to Stanley]  I am NOT your daddy. I'm your mother's husband, and I refuse to be responsible for any mistakes but my own.

  Stanley Snodgrass : [to his mother, after thinking it over]  I think he insulted one of us.

• Daisy Crockett : Will I see you tomorrow, Stanley?

  Stanley Snodgrass : Oh, don't come to the bottom of the river just for that.

• Stanley Snodgrass : Logan, I told you to take the rest of the night off.

  Dennis Logan : A gentleman's gentleman NEVER takes the night off, sir.

  Stanley Snodgrass : Yes, but does a gentleman's gentleman stay when the gentleman wants the gentleman's gentleman to leave the gentleman with the lady?

  Dennis Logan : A gentleman is never alone with a lady, sir.

  Stanley Snodgrass : [sighs]  You're now working for a cad. By the way, the money's the same. Go.

• Stanley Snodgrass : Anything I can't stand it's peeking through a keyhole and gettin' the busy signal.

• Irene Bailey : Anything on fire?

  Stanley Snodgrass : And how. Oh, that, yeah. That's a gentleman's perfume. That's my own blend, my dear. It's called Blue Snodgrass. You have to have a license to use it. Does it do somethin' to you?

  Irene Bailey : Yes! But if we open a window, I think I will be all right.

• Irene Bailey : Oh, please, Stanley. One toast with our producer.

  Stanley Snodgrass : All right--one. But remember, I can count.

• Stanley Snodgrass : And what happened to my blindfolded violinist?

  Harry Fraser : Uh, they're leading him upstairs now.

• Hackenschmidt - Cabbie : That's all right, Stanley. Just remember, you're helping me clean stables Sunday.

  Stanley Snodgrass : I'll remember, if the wind is right.

• Daisy Crockett : [helping him up]  Are you hurt, Stanley?

  Stanley Snodgrass : Only my pride...

  Stanley Snodgrass : [rubbing his bottom]  ... but it goes pretty deep.

• Stanley Snodgrass : Oh, please, turn off those mice!

• Stanley Snodgrass : Ah, I wish I was a girl so I could fight over me.

• Allen Trent : That's right, Stanley. She wanted to replace me with you right after the first performance.

  Stanley Snodgrass : What a coincidence. So did I.

• Daisy Crockett : Stanley, if you go out on that stage tonight, you'll be murdered by Jack the Slasher.

  Stanley Snodgrass : Well, that's ridiculous. I never even met Jack the Slasher.

  Mrs. Emily Snodgrass : I wouldn't let my boy associate with such a person.