- Lilli Vanessi: Do you really think *I* could play the shrew?
- Fred Graham: You'd make a perfect shrew!
- Fred Graham: You can't eat before a performance. It gives you indigestion.
- Lilli Vanessi: It's my stomach, thank you. Bring it in, Suzanne!
- Fred Graham: You'll not burp during my love scenes. Take it away.
- Lilli Vanessi: Suzanne, don't you dare.
- Suzanne: Let's make up our mind, shall we?
- Lois Lane: How am I doing, sweetie? I mean, Mr. Graham.
- Fred Graham: Very nice. Go to your dressing room and relax until curtain time. Let your mind go blank.
- Lois Lane: Whatever thou sayest.
- Lois Lane: [singing] Won't you turn that new leaf over, So your baby can be your slave? Oh, why can't you behave?
- Lois Lane: I just dashed over between shows at the Copa. I hope you don't mind my legs.
- Cole Porter: On the contrary.
- Lois Lane: [singing] It's too darn hot, It's too darn hot, I'd like to coo with my baby tonight, And pitch the woo with my baby tonight...
- Fred Graham: [phone rings] Well, pick it up. It's probably that cowboy.
- Lilli Vanessi: He is not a cowboy. He's a cattle baron.
- Fred Graham: Cattle baron, huh? What's his crest? A hamburger smothered with onions?
- Lois Lane: This is our big chance. Do you want to work nightclubs all your life?
- Bill Calhoun: What's wrong with nightclubs?
- Lois Lane: Nothing, if you like smoke, noise and drunks.
- Bill Calhoun: You thought they were great till you met this Hamlet.
- Lois Lane: Mr. Graham is a gentleman and a scholar. He's merely - culturing me.
- Cole Porter: Well, Fred, this is sort of a musical version of "The Taming of the Shrew," Shakespeare, you know.
- Fred Graham: Who are you?
- Lippy: Hey, fine-looking fellow.
- Slug: Clean-cut.
- Fred Graham: What are you doing backstage?
- Lippy: What a figure!
- Slug: What a profill.
- Fred Graham: [singing] Let us drink, Liebchen mein
- Lilli Vanessi: In the moonlight divine
- Fred Graham, Lilli Vanessi: To the joy of our dream come true Wunderbar! Wunderbar!
- Lilli Vanessi: That was the season we played the Barter Theatre in Virginia - and they gave you a ham.
- Baptista: Oh, if I could only find a man who would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and bed her - and rid my house of her!
- Lilli Vanessi: I'm not nervous now and I'm not going to whoops. And I'll never call you a louse in public again. Never.
- Fred Graham: You will, my sweet. You will.
- Katherine: [singing] Oh I hate men. If thou shouldst wed a businessman, be wary, oh, be wary, He'll tell you he's detained in town on business necessary, His bus'ness is the bus'ness with his pretty secretary...
- Lucentio: What happy wind blows you to Padua from old Verona?
- Petruchio: Such wind as scatters young men through the world to seek their fortunes. And you?
- Lucentio: I came to study.
- Petruchio: I am glad that you thus combine your resolve to suck the sweets of sweet philosophy - the mathematics and the botany. Fall to them as your stomach serves. No profit grows where is no pleasure taken. In brief, sir, study. As for me...
- [singing]
- Petruchio: I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua, If wealthily then happily in Padua. If my wife has a bag of gold, Do I care if the bag be old? I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua...
- Fred Graham: Keep on acting the way you're doing, Miss Vanessi, and I'll give you the paddling of your life, and on-stage.
- Petruchio: Sunday comes apace and we will have rings and things in fine array. And kiss me, Kate.
- [Kate slaps Petruchio]
- Fred Graham: All right, Miss Vanessi. You asked for it and you're going to get it.
- [proceeds to rapidly spanking Miss Vanessi, aka 'Katherine', on stage, in front of the audience]
- Lilli Vanessi: Fred, what are you doing? Stop it! Stop it!
- Lilli Vanessi: I can't sit down. I said, I can't sit down!
- [Suzanne enters starts to put the ice bag on Lili's forehead]
- Lilli Vanessi: That is not where it hurts.
- Petruchio: [singing] And sweet Lucretia, so young and gay-ee? What scandalous doin's in the ruins of Pompeii!
- Petruchio: Carouse full-measure. Be mad, be merry, or go hang yourselves. But for my bonny Kate, she must with me. I will be master of what is mine own. She is my goods, my chattels, my horse, my ox, my anything.
- Suzanne: [singing] If a custom-tailored vet, Asks me out for something wet, When the vet begins to pet, I shout "Hooray!"
- Petruchio: Katherine, I - I charge thee, tell these headstrong women what duties they owe their lords and husbands.
- Katherine: I am ashamed that women are so simple to offer war where they should kneel for peace. Or seek to rule, supremacy and sway when they are bound to serve, love - and obey. Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth unapt to toil and trouble in the world - but that our soft conditions and our hearts should well agree with our external parts? So hold your temper, wives, and - and meekly put your hand beneath your lord and husband's foot. In token of which duty, if he please my hand is ready. Ready may it do him ease.