Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961) User Reviews

There is no joy anymore

[zmaturin · 1/10 · 16 December 2002]

Remember "Prince of Space"? MST3K # 816? Okay. This is basically a remake of that. Instead of Prince of Space, though, we get Space Chief, another effeminent, hopping hero. Instead of the chicken-men of Krankor, we get mute, bullet-headed robots who have trouble walking and fall down at the tiniest hint of danger. And instead of two annoying, gravely voiced, tiny-shorts-wearing kids we get SIX annoying, gravely voiced, tiny-shorts-wearing kids. Slow the whole thing down, add lots of scenes of Japanese people talking in poorly lit rooms, and actual war footage instead of special effects, and you've got one of the worse movies ever made. I know that phrase is over-used and has little or no impact anymore, but this movie really is almost unbearable. It's amazing! It's joyless, depressing, AND technically inept!

Enjoy the Hitler building.

"Maybe the Japanese thought they were working in another medium...like fabric sculpture..."

[lemon_magic · 2/10 · 3 September 2005]

Under the Webster's dictionary definition of "train wreck", there is a picture of "Iron Sharp/Space Chief". And the third definition says, "3. An event which exerts upon the observer the appalling, morbid fascination of a movie such as "Invasion Of The Neptune Men.""

Well, not really. But this film is endlessly fascinating in its gormlessness. It's basically the same film as "Prince Of Space" - there's a willowy bachelor in a leotard, cape,and spastic head gear, who has fabulous secret technology and a humble secret civilian identity, and he saves Earth from invaders while irritating, screechy voiced children cheer his every move. The only real difference is that "Neptune Men" is even duller, cheaper, and less coherent, has six screeching children instead of two, and the aliens have even less charisma than the Chicken Men of Kran-kor. Oh, and Space Chief flies a rocket powered Chevy with fins instead of a Norelco Nose Hair Trimmer. And he never actually goes into space.

It also resembles 'Prince Of Space" in that someone obviously took several episodes of a goofy Japanese children's show,slammed them together and tried to pass the resulting structural mess as a 'movie' called "Invasion Of The Neptune Men."

Which brings up the question, "Exactly how many children's' TV shows about wispy bachelors in leotards and capes who singlehandedly defeat alien invasions did Japan MAKE in those days?" Are there even more abominations like that out there in obscurity, waiting to confound our gaijin sensibilities with their Nippon-osity?? One shudders to think of the horrors that await! Indeed, "Fugitive Alien" may only be an omen of things to come.

Oh wait, there is one other obvious difference in IOTNM: a plot device called the "electron barrier", a city sized force field that protects the Japanese cities from airborne attack. And the Japanese manage to also whip up some advanced surface-to-air missile systems. (Stuff that Japan wouldn't have been allowed to have under the terms of their surrender in WW II).And Space Chief spends the last 20 minutes of the movie shooting down Neptune ships in an endless dogfight. The parallels to the events of the air war over Japan in WW II are as plain on the noses that aren't on the Neptune Men's faces: Someone wanted to indulge themselves with a fantasy where the air war over Japan had a different outcome.

Anyway, this is really horrible. Made even more sloppily and carelessly than "Prince Of Space", it features several plot cul-de-sacs that desperately needed to be edited out of the final product, stock footage by the metric ton, and endless scenes of children in short pants running their lungs out to bombastic Russian Cossack music. They also shriek bizarre imprecations that defy any explanation other than, "Well, it must be a Japanese thing". Or maybe "Japanese Tourettes' Syndrome."

Also of 'interest': 90 percent of the budget for the show was apparently expended to create 10-15 seconds of special effects for the climactic air battle scene, and the movie loops this footage more times than I could easily count to pad out the film. I mean, I ran out of fingers trying to tally the number of times Space Chief shot down the same three ships!

On its own merits, the movie deserves a 'zero', but for sheer 'golden turkey' entertainment value and tracking the miscues, gaffes, misjudgments and unintentionally hilarious speeches...AND as an excuse to make fun of Japan, I bump it up to two stars.

Space Chef rides again!

[Droopy!!! · 1/10 · 14 August 2000]

Gather round the campfire, children, and listen to the story of the great Space Chief!! Who sucked. He rode around in a bumpy car that, when lit on fire, sent him into space. But enough about me, let's talk about the children!! They were the real heroes here and the next time some crazy dj-aliens with records stuck to their heads come through the electro-barrier, I'm hoping those kids'll be around to get into level 5 security areas and figure that baby out all on their own. Cause goshdarnit, they've done it before.

You'll just want to throw up your hands and say "I just don't know"

[Robot Rancher · 5/10 · 2 February 2002]

I had the rare privilege of seeing this movie in three of its incarnations: the first being on MST3k, the second being a dubbed US version on tape, and the third being a very rare uncut laserdisk version of the film in the original Japanese. And after seeing this film in all three of its mediums, I must say that it still sucks no matter how you look at it. Everything in this film is just....wrong. The acting, the directing, the kids in little shorts, and of course let us not forget the stock footage featuring the famous "Hitler Building". But if you thought that the US dubbed version was bad (which is what most people have probably seen), well then you'll probably go blind watching the original uncut Japanese version. At least whichever American company that bought the rights from TOEI to feature this film in America had the good sense to cut out the little sing-a-long Mr. Tabana and his children do at the end of the film, praising the bravery of Iron Sharp (a.k.a. Space Chief, or Chef, or whatever) in bad harmony. Too bad they didnt show that on MST3K.

All in all, the movie does have a good point, that being its so bad, its almost funny. Other than that, if your looking for a more serious Japanese Sci-Fi film, then Prince of Space might be a better choice.

I get the Neptune part

[InzyWimzy · 5/10 · 20 August 2004]

Ah, japanese cinema. And we are treated to an early performance by Sonny Chiba! Too bad the helmet obstructs the view. I believe this dubbed version I saw definitely turns on the goofy meter with terrible high squealed voices reminiscent of an Alvin and the Chipmunks outtakes session followed by high pitched ear piercingly crass sound effects and lots of weird stuff like music playing backwards, creepy demonic alien warnings, and the hokiest kung fu battle EVER. Still, this is a strange strange movie and although you want to resist slamming the screen with sledge hammer, you wonder what can occur next or the highly effectiveness of an electro barrier. If you hate flicks where smug kids are always right and run around fields with impunity, you will not enjoy this Invasion. Watch Tokyo get bombarded and a rather dubious building front from a past era (I won't even spoil it since you get more of a kick seeing it by surprise).

This MST one brings pain and you actually can share the misery that the guys on the Satellite of Love endured...and they usually watched this four or five times!! Goofy, fun, chalk board scratchingly bad, and a gamut of emotions are associated with this one. Still, way better than Mars Attacks.

A tragic waste of the human spirit...

[lurk3000 · 22 September 2002]

Wow! This movie (I use the term loosely) really, really sucked. Thankfully I saw it with Mike and the 'bots...and they could barely make it through this abortion. I could barely make it through. Waaaaaay too much stock footage, waaaaay to many annoying kids. What made "Prince of Space" at least mildly amusing was the phantom of Krankor. At least he had a personality. The neptune suppositories down even talk.

Silly, frenetic fun

[jamesrupert2014 · 5/10 · 21 March 2018]

A lot happens in just over an hour! A group of kids investigate a mysterious 'satellite', discover a spaceship, are threatened by pointy metallic aliens but are rescued by a caped hero in a flying car, whom they christen "Space Chief" (in the English version, "Iron Sharp" in the Japanese version, played by future martial-arts film star Sonny Chiba). Shortly thereafter strange radio waves are detected emanating from Earth that disrupt power transmission and nuclear reactors begin exploding. Scientists develop electrobarrier (a "dome of electrons") to protect our cities, but after a failed missile attack, and despite Space Chief's best efforts, the aliens infiltrate and blow up the barrier's power station. The invaders continue to press the attack by manipulating the weather, but again are thwarted by the resurrected electrobarrier. The alien mothership (which is trapped within the barrier) then launches a number of saucers that destroy industrial sites and buildings (including The National Diet Building) before being shot down by Space Chief in his flying car. In the meantime, Earth has developed new "electron-minus alpha missiles" with the capability of destroying the Neptunians, but will they be enough to save us?!? Panned by critics and lampooned by MST3K, "Invasion of the Neptune Men" is an inane but (IMO) entertaining way to pass an hour. I watched an English dubbed version in which the kids talked like the 'Bowery Boys' and included over-the-top music that sounded like something from a 1930's western. The special effects ranged from quite good for era and budget (the saucers were imaginative and the scenes of them attacking Earth were excellent*) to ridiculous (Space Chief's flying car looked like something from a soap-box derby). I liked the alien mother-ship (especially the 'spacy' sound effects) and was willing to suspend my disbelief when the pointy robotic invaders were on screen. Decades ago, I watched a game show ("Eye Bet", 1971) in which contestants watched film clips and were then questioned about what they had seen. I never forgot the clip of an acrobatic hero in tights and a cape kicking robot butt, so was pleasantly surprised the first time I watched Space Chief take on the Neptunians. Prime stuff if you are a retro-tokusatsu fan, or just looking for some goofy entertainment, or just too wasted to change the channel. *Some of these scenes may have been 'borrowed ' from previous productions.

Likeable, yet diabolical

[Red-Barracuda · 3/10 · 3 November 2021]

This Japanese sci-fi movie is about an invasion of nefarious aliens from the planet Neptune, who come to Earth to blow things up. They are thwarted by a superhero called Space Chief and a group of children. This one is what you would expect from a 60's kids movie from Japan, i.e. General inanity all the way. The finale is lengthy and involves the evil aliens going around destroying all manner of buildings. Space Chief is a superhero who we learn absolutely nothing about but who flies around in a space Cadillac equipped with lasers. The children are as in your face as they always are in these old Japanese movies, except these ones seem to have been dubbed into English by adults who are pretending to be kids, the result is...curious. Overall, it's a simultaneously charming and fairly appalling effort; director Koji Ota was never allowed to make another feature film again.

Not the same as PRINCE OF SPACE

[monoceros4 · 2/10 · 23 July 2009]

The superficial similarity is there: invaders come to conquer earth and alien-in-human-guise fights them off, earning the admiration of unpleasant children. Beyond that two movies are not very much alike.

I can't be sure but I'm partly convinced that PRINCE OF SPACE was meant as a comedy. There's not a single person in the movie with even a shred of competence or dignity with the possible exception of the Prince himself, and even he makes some really dumb decisions. The aliens are devoid of menace, the scientists are helpless babies, and the children are selfish little snots good only at getting in the Prince's way. All these things stand in contrast to INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN. The aliens are not goofy and, in the scene where they disguise themselves as human soldiers, they are even a bit menacing. The scientists put up strong resistance against the aliens even if, in the end, they need Space Chief to bail them out. The Chief isn't a swaggering buffoon--no "hahahaha your weapons are useless" nonsense from him--and his child fans get hardly any scenes.

It's almost like PRINCE OF SPACE is a parody of the story that INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN plays straight. NEPTUNE MEN feels like it's trying to be a serious sci-fi movie...which is maybe why it's such a crashing bore compared to PRINCE OF SPACE.

It was a philosophical allegory on self deception and the nature of reality and perception.

[lord_grendel_harliquin · 1/10 · 22 December 2001]

The Invasion of the Neptune Men wasn't just an action movie, but a deep, and surreal tale of love, redemption, war, peace and the nature of our place in the universe. Beautiful in its own way, comparable to Shakspere and Milton in it's storyline. Evil is destroyed, and hope remains in the hands of the one true savior, Space Chief. Check out the cameo of Hitler.

Brought to you by the League of Psychotic Children

[harricklomax · 1/10 · 8 December 2004]

This is a really horrible movie. It's low budget and just badly done in every way, but that is overcome by the criminally awful story and the complete lack of acting. The story focuses on a group of nameless and totally annoying children who, apparently, advise the ruling council of Japan on all matters of national security and can go where ever they want at any time. They (and maybe the rest of Japan, but that's never clearly stated) are attacked by a group of mute guys in a big rocket who dress up as huge metallic arrowheads. And then a thin and totally incompetent guy with a fin on his hat shows up and jumps in the air a lot, they fall over, and the world is saved. Oh, before that, there is the longest and least eventful air battle in cinema history.

This made a pretty good episode of MST3K, but even Mike and the Bots found the air battle near the end intolerably tedious. They gave up even trying to make fun of it at some points and just did little skits int he theater. Horrible movie, good MST3K ep. If there's one thing that will turn you against Japan, it's this. "Invasion of the Neptune Men"! Enjoy!

Well-Made, Fun and Highly Enjoyable

[LJ27 · 9/10 · 7 May 2006]

A lot of people slammed this movie and call it one of the worst. First of all, if you are pre-disposed not to like Japanese sci-fi films because of the sometimes obvious model work, then this film won't change your mind. I was curious about it after reading about it for many years in books and magazines. I finally saw it released on DVD from Dark Sky and I found it to be one of the most enjoyable Japanese sci-fi films I have ever seen. I say this on the basis of the special effects which I found to be excellent for the period in which this film was made. The sets are impressive. The matte and model work is as good as anything being done by an American studio in that era. The movie moves at a quick pace and I watched it two or three times in a row. Kind of like a smaller scale version of BATTLE IN OUTER SPACE. I have paid a lot more money to see films that entertained me a lot less than this one did. I'd choose this over STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH because INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN is more fun to watch.

They Took Out The Hitler Building!

[Mister-6 · 7/10 · 3 February 2001]

Aliens in bullet-head helmets, young boys running around in short shorts, army soldiers made up like Ru-Paul, Sonny Chiba (!) at his most un-heroic and Thomas the Tank Engine as the alien spaceship - is this any way to make a sci-fi movie?

It is if you've made this one. "Uchu Kaisoku-sen" (or "Invasion of the Neptune Men", as I know it) is a movie I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, it has a plot that feels like they left a few pages out of the script and replaced it with LOTS of stock footage. On the other hand, this is also a movie that will leave you rolling in the aisles (or your living room floor), gasping for breath at the stupid (dubbed) dialogue, fakey "special" FX, small disc ships that look like evil crab cakes and large groups of Japanese people running around all over the place - with no Godzilla in sight.

And that Space Chef - excuse me, Space CHIEF - what kind of a mook traipses around in white leotards, cape and a helmet with a corrective sun visor, trying to subdue the bad guys with karate kicks and chops that my two year-old daughter could out-maneuver with ease? To think that this was Sonny Chiba in that spandex is a head-scratcher; we all gotta start somewhere, I suppose.

You can watch this either way: alone or with Mike and the robots. Doesn't matter 'cause you'll get entertainment value either way. Derisive laughter is derisive laughter, no matter how you take it. Though I still cackle when I think of how the MST3K crew reacted when they blew up the Hitler building ("WHAT?!!") or Servo's song dedicated to the stock footage ("da da da-da da da...EAT IT, MOVIE!!!).

Anyway, you watch a movie like this on a Saturday afternoon - after the cartoons and before the pro-bowler's tour. Perfect way to waste a couple of hours: laughing hysterically.

Seven stars (yeah, that's right - SEVEN) for "Uchu Kaisoku-sen". Ten stars, as always, for the MST3K version.

And, as always, "NE C'EST PAS"!

How am I supposed to hate a race of people who blow up a Hitler Building?

[solitary_refinement · 1/10 · 31 May 2004]

In the end, did "Space Chief" do anything to help "Japan" (or at least "Mini-Tech-Com-Corp")? I guess he helped in that he blew that hunk of metal off of the space ship that gave them the Rogies and Panties they needed to blow the Neptune Men up. But, then again, his good deed paled in comparison to the fact that, if he kept his butt at Lego-Land, they could have deployed their Rogies and Panties that much sooner and maybe the Neptune Men wouldn't have blown "Japan" back to the stone age.

One question I keep asking is: If it was the electro-barrier that saved "Japan" from the cold, what happened to the places without an electro-barrier? Maybe that's what "The Day After Tomorrow" is really about...

I find myself torn: I feel like this movie needs to get more votes so it can be in its proper place: the bottom of the bottom 100, but I do not want to lead people to this movie either. A puzzlement indeed.

Prince of Space...Chief

[Amazing Colossal Puma Man · 10 January 1999]

All right, what the #$^# could ANYBODY be thinking that made this movie. It's actually worse than "Prince of Space." The dubbing on the kids is far more annoying than Krankor's laugh. Oh yeah, the reason I'm comparing these two is because they're the SAME movie!

This movie isn't all bad, though. It does have some nice cameos, such as the one made by the Fürher himself, Adolf Hitler. Plus it introduces us to stop-short-from-ten-feet-away fighting.

Well, I'm going to seek revenge on the idiots who made this movie. See you later.

For all you Sonny Chiba fans, this film conclusively proves Chiba is not infallible!

[planktonrules · 1/10 · 25 November 2007]

By any sane standard, this is a terrible film, though some of the rottenness of the film is due to a horrid dub into English (renamed "Invasion of the Neptune Men"). But bad dubbing aside, the viewer can tell that even in its original Japanese form the movie was a total turkey. So bad, in fact, that it's a great film to watch with friends so you can take pleasure laughing at its ineptness.

The closest thing you can find to a star in this film is the famous Sonny Chiba, who made some incredibly good martial arts films in the 1970s and was also in the recent KILL BILL films. However, here in one of his earliest roles, the guy is given the impossible task of playing "Space Chief"--a silly super-hero in tights and a helmet who takes on the dreaded Neptunians! Although the film seems to be set in the early 1960s, Space Chief fires a nifty ray gun and drives what looks like a drunk hover-car. With just his ray gun and crappy car that wobbles incessantly, Space Chief is able to get the upper hand because the invaders are so gosh-darn lame--complete with uniforms with pointy metal helmets. When they take off the helmets, it gets even worse, as the Neptune invaders appear to be guys wearing lipstick and makeup. It can't be all that hard to beat up an army of cross-dressers!

While the cheesy toy cities (like those seen in Godzilla films) are pretty bad and the hero is pretty silly, the worst part about this film is that it is permeated with the most nauseating 1960s Japanese film cliché--the "clever kids" who are much smarter than everyone else and who the adults won't believe. These kids are smarter than Einstein, Steven Hawking and Edison put together and they quickly figure out the problem. I'm sure this was plot device was used because the film was marketed to kids, but frankly if you've seen this schtick before in such insipid films as GODZILLA VS. THE SMOG MONSTER, JOHNNY SOKKO AND HIS FLYING ROBOT and GAMERA, then there is no logical reason you'd want to see it again. Watching this supposedly cute tykes (that were instead annoying little know-it-alls) was more than bad--it was downright awful and made me grind my teeth!

While some of the special effects weren't THAT bad and were a few steps above PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, at other times they were dreadful. Oddly, however, there is one scene that briefly appears in the film that I am at a total loss to understand. You see a building with Japanese writing on it explode towards the end. However, and here's the inexplicable part, there's a giant cutout of Adolph Hitler on the building that, in scale, would be at least 9 stories high. What???!!! If anyone DOES know why this was inserted, let me know--it really was tacky and confused the life out of me! Couldn't they have found some other stock footage to use? Did they think people would see Hitler and NOT recognize him!??!?! This might just be the worst and most offensive use of stock footage in film history! Could it have been used because, to many Japanese, all Westerners look alike?!

This movie is a waste of money.

[jundgruul · 1/10 · 4 November 2015]

Da da da da da eat it movie! This movie is quite possibly the worst in the world. Where to begin? You could start with the virtually non-existent special effects. Or the total lack of acting. Or the stupid-dumb plot. Or the total lack of any emotion whatsoever. this movie's only remotely redeeming quality is that it has been made fun of by Mystery Science Theater 3000...But even they were hard pressed to make jokes about this total piece of garbage. If you could give it zero stars... I would. if Sharknado, Piranhaconda, and the Justin Bieber biography movie got together and created their own unique blend of demon, perhaps this film would be the result.

A David Lynchian Excercise Into Aliens Invading Japan

[georgebobolink · 1/10 · 4 May 2006]

I think the most you can say about this movie is that it becomes no more comprehensible in English than it would be if watched in Japanese.

I have seen this movie more than a dozen times. Why? Well, it's a damned good Mystery Science Theater episode, but, as per diem, the best MST3k episodes are the worst movies. This one really takes that diem and runs with it; the cast is full of indistinguishable characters who bumble about while vague aliens invade.

And that's it. That's my summary of this dreck. Aliens invade. A guy named Space Chief shows up who is really a muffiny haired scientist (I think, it's hard to tell) and fights them off with laser guns and vaguely saves the day. Vague is a good word for this movie; you never really get the sense you're seeing something definitive happen, since five minutes later, the characters say the exact opposite of what you saw happened. It's very David Lynchian in that manner.

There is not an aspect to this movie that doesn't fall flat on its face. The awful dubbing, the moronic plot, the bad music, the reuse of old war footage, the ability to take black and white and make it look ugly and murky... it's all here, and it's all an insult to your senses.

If you find a copy of this MiSTEd, dive in. Otherwise, unless you're looking to top Crow and Servo or if you are really that desperate for Japanese science fiction (and I do mean desperate), avoid.

Even WITHOUT MST3K, you'll laugh!

[Thanos6 · 1/10 · 4 February 1999]

I saw this movie on MST3K (for the layperson, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"), where they had a rollicking good time riffing it. Even without the riffs, however, this movie is hilarious. Unfortunately, it wasn't supposed to be. Basically, this is "Prince of Space" without the fun. There's not even Krankor's laugh! If you want a good laugh, watch this! (And don't miss the shot of the Hitler Building!)

Very Early Sonny Chiba

[bensonmum2 · 2/10 · 5 May 2008]

To be honest, Invasion of the Neptune Men is about as bad a movie as I've seen. Maybe it's the cut of the movie I've seen or maybe something is lost in the translation from Japanese or maybe it's meant for a different age group, but whatever, it's bad. (Note: I haven't rated the movie a 1/10 because although it's bad, it's not offensively bad.) Instead of getting into the myriad of problems, I want to focus on why I've now seen The Invasion of the Neptune Men at least four times. I can think of two reasons off the top of my head to explain why I continue to re-watch Invasion of the Neptune Men.

One, (and I admit I'm pushing it here) the chance to see an early Sonny Chiba. I'm not an expert on Chiba, but what I've seen, I really like. From his work in The Street Fighter, Golgo 13, and up to and including Kill Bill, Chiba is the MAN. So it's really cool to get the chance to go back and watch him in what is really his second movie. He's barely recognizable as the lame hero, Space Chief.

Two, Invasion of the Neptune Men is one of my very favorite episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000. While I may only rate the movie a 2/10, I give this episode a 5/5 on my MST3K rating scale. Some of the riffs are laugh out loud funny no matter how many times I've heard them. The bits about Space Chef, the Hitler building, and the kids in their shorts are hysterical. As I said, I've seen this episode at least four times and can probably re-watch it many more without getting tired of it.

Undoubtedly bad, but very funny in it's silliness

[a-twetman · 4/10 · 20 November 2013]

This is one seriously silly Japanese space movie. It is Undoubtedly awful when judged as one would normally judge a movie, but it's so ridiculous it's actually kind of enjoyable. Here are a few of the exceedingly silly events that happen in the movie:

-Some Japanese kids, poorly dubbed into speaking English discover a space ship and some cone head Neptune men who try to kill them. Space Chief, a guy wearing tights and a stupid helmet lands his rocket powered golf cart, and starts jumping around in a silly fashion, cone head guys fall over, and run away.

-People start noticing strange things and alert the scientists, the scientists talk science jargon about science, then do some science...SCIENCE! Politicians however do politics, feel skeptical about scientist warnings.

-Jump cut to cone heads watching TV broadcast about alien invasion, apparently jump cut covers transition from general skepticism to belief. Suddenly the cone heads attack in their space ship, conveniently, the scientists have put together an "electro barrier" to stop them.

-The cone heads attack, shoot flaming farts, the electro barrier deflects flaming fart rays, hilarious action sequence ensues, with cone heads falling over due to electro barrier. Defeated by this ridiculous barrier thing, the cone heads wimp out and go away.*

-The ever present bunch of little kids from the start of the movie run around chattering incessantly, they stumble on a space probe thingie that contains a threatening message from the aliens.

-The aliens attack and there is a scene of lots of silly looking running around in panic as people try to escape, however, the Aliens infiltrate japan, disguised as soldiers and almost manage to kill the bunch of annoying little kids.

-Suddenly Space Chief is back in the movie, he shoots a couple of the cone heads, chases after two other into a building then promptly explodes(?). This causes lots of general running about in a big panic.

At this point the movie suddenly changes tone and becomes somewhat serious. The government make an announcement that the word is under attack, and that people need to take shelter, which of course causes some proper panic. This is followed by a slightly less silly scene of the cone heads attacking earth with proper explosions and everything. Then Space Chief is back, this time actually doing some space battle (or rather lower atmosphere battle) flying around in his rocket golf cart thing, shooting the alien ships.

After this sequence has gone on for a while the big moment comes, the moment when your jaw just drops and you can't help but utter a big WHAT! There is billboard of Hitler doing a seig heil. Unmotivated Hitler, just like that.

The movie then goes on like nothing happened, recycling the same scenes of the battle between the cone heads and Space Chief, until it suddenly stops. Cue the scientists preparing "Alpha Electron Rockets", there is a tense moment as they count down, then Kablamo, no more cone heads, the end.

*Somewhere around this point in the movie, there is a lot of talk about something called a Roji Panty Complex, I have no idea what that is or why it is mentioned.

Space Chief must battle aliens while children run all over the place in a frenzy!

[Aaron1375 · 1/10 · 24 December 2016]

This 'film' I believe was a serial...basically, this movie is a collection of episodes and not an actual movie. The reason I believe this is that I actually saw this thing listed on television to watch, but it was only in a thirty minute slot and there was another one slotted to begin after it. However, I do not think you are missing anything in this one like the Sandy Frank collections which are entire series. My guess is that this is like four episodes, possibly of a Space Chief series and this set was the start of said show. That being said, it is completely horrible! Probably the worst film that Mystery Science Theater did as far as Japanese films are concerned. Sure, there were a couple that could give this one a run for its money, but in the end I do think this one has the fewest redeeming qualities of the ones they did. The two Alien Fugitive movies while not great had some decent effects and some entertaining aspects. Mighty Jack and Time of Apes also had their moments. There were a couple of the Gamera films that I actually classify as pretty good. Even Prince of Space which was another of the films featuring a dude who runs around attacking his very ineffective enemies was better than this one!

The story has a group of boys who like running all over the place in a frenzy. They spot something strange landing and go to investigate and discover a spaceship that contains a race of slow moving aliens who promptly begin to try and strangle the boys! Well, a flying car comes out of nowhere and within it is Space Chief and he easily beats back the spacemen. Do not get to used to seeing Space Chief as he disappears for a rather good portion of the film as scientist must erect an electric barrier to foil the aliens plans. The aliens try to counter by freezing everyone, but that portion of the film seems rather pointless in retrospect. Then Space Chief flies around trying to blast the enemies out of the sky, but he doesn't really win before leaving and then they launch missiles against the Neptune Men...not a very memorable film.

This was a rather good episode of MST3K, but I did not really care for them acting like this film was such a back breaker. Granted, how many jokes can you make about a car flying through the air blasting ships in the same loop again and again? I did like the bump where Tom Servo gets ill with Rogi Panty complex and yes that is a thing mentioned in the film. I also liked the jokes aimed at the kids who were pretty much there all the time throughout the film running here and there and everywhere!

So this film is probably not the worst film that they have ever riffed on MST3K, but I do think it is the worst Japanese film they had ever riffed. The ones Joel did were not all bad, with a couple of them being films I actually enjoyed. The film may have been simply a collection though as you can sort of see fades in areas like when the kids wave goodbye to Space Chief when he saves them from being choked to death by the Neptune Men. The aliens just have no character and never seem all that threatening. They move slowly and even when they are in the guise of soldiers any threat they may pose is undercut by the fact they are wearing makeup! So yeah, this film is rather bad, but those kids are good at running!

A lot better than MST3K gave it credit for

[dnevins-14051 · 10/10 · 3 November 2022]

I saw this first on MST3K, but there is a clearer version of the original, with English subtitles, called "Iron Sharp," at the Internet Archive.

Surprisingly, it's terrific!

First off, the opening credits image is an erupting volcano, not the art shown in the version used by Best Brains.

Secondly, it's clear at the start that the kids are dreaming this up after science class. Once you get that, the movie is MUCH more enjoyable.

Even the running. The kids, of course, but then the reporters, and finally the scientists and soldiers -- all running around like panicked children (the power room explosion/Dr. Tanigawa's being attacked): adults wouldn't act like that anywhere except in youngsters' imagination.

I don't think Mr. Tachibana is really meant to be Iron Sharp/Space Chief; the two are linked in the boys' minds. And since their imagination is running the story ("Level 5 clearance," as MST3K put it), it looks like the two characters are the same.

Space Chief/Iron Sharp actually says, when they ask who he is (I'm quoting from memory), "I think you know my name better than I do." Big clue, that: and that scene ends with them naming him (in English, another surprise).

The movie also addresses some serious issues of the day (in the 60s, I was about the same age as those children). For instance, the aliens almost start WWIII, and only the kids and Dr. Tanigawa know it. Then there's the nuclear explosion -- here followed by pictures of the destroyed town -- as well as duality about the first signs of the coming age (big power lines, for example, and the microwave tower).

Yes, the Hitler building is still in there. It makes more sense in this version: they're breaking with the past.

Oh, I just like this a lot. It's deeper than expected. You might want to check the subtitled version out.

Unlike the OG English-version "Prince of Space," also at archive.org, there is quite a bit of additional footage in this Internet Archive file, including an ending that balances the early scene where the boys first imagine Iron Sharp (and is much different in mood from what you would expect if the director had really intended that the devastating "Crispix" flyer attack, etc., was real).

Finally, there is an underlying theme, expressed by one of the kids at the end, that Japan shouldn't let the US and USSR get ahead of them in space exploration.

And IRL they didn't.

I'd guess this movie inspired a lot of young people in the 1960s to embrace the new technology and helped get the Japanese miracle going during the rest of the century.

Pipe welders from Neptune threaten the world

[MartianOctocretr5 · 6/10 · 4 December 2007]

Some unemployed welders from Neptune arrive on Earth one day in a giant plastic thing that vaguely resembles a space craft, and attack a bunch of school kids all wearing black shorts, white shirts, and ties. They also have the uncanny ability to cry out for help, even though the movement of their lips never seem to match the words they utter. A guy wearing grey sweat clothes, a cape, and dark space goggles shows up, and kung-fu's the slow-moving pipe-welders into a hasty retreat.

The excitement of Neptune Men is only beginning. These silent automatons, led by a guy who wears an "angel-halo" thing on his welding mask, are here to (ready for this???) take over the world!!! They make attacks, and sometimes the super hero guy comes out of nowhere to help, other times he's nowhere to be found. However, the kids in the shorts are always there to scream at the invaders, wherever they may be at any given moment, and to cheer whenever they get the snot beaten out of them. Oh, and look for the scene where aliens strafe a building in what is suspiciously old footage from World War II: you'll know it when you see it; truly a masterful moment in film-making history.

There's a genius scientist who invents a special weapon, and a few other military guys, also a love-interest couple. Everyone acts under the advisement of the kids in shorts. Can these ruthless creatures from the eight planet be stopped? It all depends on whether or not the super hero guy is available on the day of the main attack, I guess.

The Worst Movie Ever Made

[pinkhaa478 · 1/10 · 7 September 2005]

There are tons of bad movies but try watching Invasion of the Neptune Men it's so bad it makes my head hurt thinking about it. I t was so bad! The MST3000 cast couldn't even stand it thats how bad it was. I mean how many times could you watch the same crap being blown up, I mean it was funny when they blew up the Hitler statue once but five times is repetitive and stupid. The dubbing was like hearing a nail being scrapped against a chalkboard for eighty minutes! There was no hero space chief(really Prince of Space) was absent for the whole movie (along with his lame chops) and the villains are dumb and absent minded. Turning clocks back to conquer the earth! The so called invasion that lasted for about twenty to thirty minutes was so painful with about five minutes of stock footage continually repeating. I can withstand a lot of crap but this broke me and I questioned the point in living and came to the conclusion that there is no God since God would not have let this movie exist, it's worse than Manos or Monter A-Go-Go which is the only accomplishment this film has made. You cannot even call this a film I truly believe it was really designed as a torture devise(as in A Clockwork orange) for captured Chinese and North Korean communists. So in conclusion until you've seen "Neptune Men" the other movies people mentioned are definitely bad movies but they could be laughed at get some amusement out of them (Gigli, Battlefield, Got Served, and all the Billy Jack's) but these is absolute pain and I now know what movie is playing in Hell. It is one and only one movie, "The Invasion of the Neptune Men".

Ps- Interesting side note the actor who played Space Chief was the great Sonny Chiba. although this is way before his excellent martial arts movies in the seventies and his legendary role on TV...Hantorri Haznzo.