Kisses for My President (1964)

Fred MacMurray: Thad McCloud

Quotes 

• Thaddeus McCloud : I'm looking forward to some jolly times when I get to know your buzzers better.

• Thaddeus McCloud : What is he crazy? The only thing I know about foreign relations is my uncle who lives up in Canada.

• Thaddeus McCloud : This must be the first lady's bedroom.

  Leslie McCloud : It must be.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Leslie, you don't mean you're actually going to try to shove me in here?

  Leslie McCloud : Oh, you have your very own private dressing room.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, if you think I gave up my golf club membership and prospering business so I could sleep in something like this!

• Leslie McCloud : And to the right, the President's Bedroom. It isn't very feminine.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Maybe you - maybe you should appeal to Congress for some... curtains. Make it your first official act and the women of America would be proud that they picked a President who knows first things come first.

• Thaddeus McCloud : A man needs an office; especially, if he has nothing to do.

• Doris Reid Weaver : Do I detect a wounded male ego?

  Thaddeus McCloud : Not wounded. Deceased.

• Thaddeus McCloud : You are my President and I must treat you as such.

  [kiss] 

  Leslie McCloud : I didn't know that was standard treatment for Presidents.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Oh, yeah. Yeah.

  [takes Leslie over to the bed] 

  Leslie McCloud : Darling, if you'll wait just one minute I can get into something comfortable for you.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Times a-wastin' and I don't trust those two telephones.

  [kiss] 

• Leslie McCloud : What are you reading?

  Thaddeus McCloud : It's a - you wouldn't be interested. It's Theodore White's "The Making of a President."

• Raphael Valdez Jr. : [at a strip club]  I like her very much! Your country, most of the women are very bold. What is her name?

  Thaddeus McCloud : The sign says her name is Nana Peel.

  Raphael Valdez Jr. : Nana Peel? That's a ridiculous name. But it's, very suggestive. No doubt, very good for business.

• Thaddeus McCloud : I'm going nuts!

  Doris Reid Weaver : Thad, why in heaven's name did you let Leslie run for the Presidency?

  Thaddeus McCloud : Because I never thought she'd make it!

• Doris Reid Weaver : Here, smell my earlobe.

  Thaddeus McCloud : That smells good. A little like me, but, a lot better.

  Doris Reid Weaver : It's the same perfume, except that when it blends with my personal body chemistry it - it's a different fragrance, than when it blends with yours.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Oh. I guess maybe my personal body chemistry is martini.

• Leslie McCloud : [Thad spanks Leslie's behind]  Don't get fresh! I'll have you drafted.

  Thaddeus McCloud : You can't have me drafted, I'm too old. But, I'm not too old to get fresh!

• Leslie McCloud : Maybe we should do away with those dull, formal receptions and have intimate affairs.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Yeah, that's what I like. Intimate affairs.

• Thaddeus McCloud : "Leslie" can be either a man's name or a woman's name.

  Raphael Valdez Jr. : Yes, but it can be very confusing.

• Peter McCloud : Dad, how come we have to have ushers in our new house - like at the movies?

  Thaddeus McCloud : Because your mother went out and got herself elected President. That's how come. And we're lucky we have ushers; because, there'll be thousands of people traipsing in and out of here all day long and we wouldn't want to get caught in the shower, would we?

• Jackson : This is the Oval Room, sometimes called the President's Study. To your right is the President's Bedroom. Beyond that, the First Lady's Bedroom and Dressing Room.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Thank you.

  Leslie McCloud : Thank you, Mr. Jackson.

• Thaddeus McCloud : As I recall, those two children of ours were born in wedlock.

  Leslie McCloud : Oh, darling, I'm tired. I want to go to bed.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, come on!

  Leslie McCloud : Oh, I've got so much reading to do.

• Joseph : Tell me what the family might like for dinner and where you wish it served.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Joseph, that's a little out of my line. Who usually plans the menu.

  Joseph : The First Lady, sir.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Oh, so you want me to do it.

  Joseph : Well, sir, the President is very busy.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, I guess I do have a job after all.

• Thaddeus McCloud : You scared?

  Leslie McCloud : A little.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, don't be sweetheart. You'll do just fine.

  Leslie McCloud : Oh, Thad, I hope so.

  Thaddeus McCloud : You will! Believe me. After all, you have a better background than some of the previous tenants. A daughter of an Ambassador, a niece of a Senator, former judge, wife, mother, and a graduate of Radcliffe. What other President could make that statement?

  Leslie McCloud : Thad, you have the most wonderful talent for making me feel good.

• Thaddeus McCloud : What's up?

  Leslie McCloud : I'm sorry, darling. Classified information.

  [blows Thad a kiss and leaves] 

• Thaddeus McCloud : Leslie, do you realize that this is the first time we've been alone in three months? I mean, really alone? All those cities, all those speeches. Three months seems like three years.

  Leslie McCloud : I know, darling.

  Thaddeus McCloud : You know something, you're the prettiest President we've ever had.

  [pulls her down onto the bed] 

  Leslie McCloud : Oh, darling, I - I have to meet with the Secretary of Labor first thing in the morning and I - I must read this report.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Oh, come on. The kids are asleep, the voters have gone home, and the press is at rest. Let's not share the magic of this moment with the Department of Labor.

  [goes in for a kiss as the phone rings] 

• Thaddeus McCloud : Do I get to plan all the meals, even the big dinners?

  Joseph : Well, sir, I make suggestions; but, you make the decisions.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Goodie!

• Peter McCloud : How come I gotta go to school and you get to hang around the house all day long doing nothin'?

  Thaddeus McCloud : That is a fair question. Well, suppose you own an electronics research company which receives quite a few government orders. And all at once 40 million woman ganged up on you and elected your wife President of the United States.

  Peter McCloud : So?

  Thaddeus McCloud : So, as a matter of ethics you sell the company. Is that clear?

  Peter McCloud : No!

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, why isn't it?

  Peter McCloud : I never heard of ethics.

• Thaddeus McCloud : I'm practically a stranger in town. Why don't you make some plans for me too. Nothing, bawdy, you understand; but, I'm not against having a little fun.

• Gloria McCloud : Think what this will do to me, father! I mean, here I am, a strange, new girl starting at a strange new school and this Fuzz is hanging around to scare the guys off!

  Thaddeus McCloud : Fuzz?

• Thaddeus McCloud : Doris, you're just as beautiful as ever. Of course, you ought to be with that string of beauty parlors all over the world.

  Doris Reid Weaver : Salons, darling.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Oh, I'm sorry.

  Doris Reid Weaver : You look as virile as ever!

• Doris Reid Weaver : How sweet of you to remember me after all these years.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Are you kidding? How could I ever forget the torrid love of my madcap youth!

• Leslie McCloud : Excuse me. I must get back to my office.

  Thaddeus McCloud : And I must repair to my boudoir to make ready for the feast and the hunting.

  Leslie McCloud : Goodbye, sweet nut.

• Rizzutti - Mechanic : Mr. McCloud, my wife she voted for your wife.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Oh, that's very nice. I'll be sure and tell her.

  Rizzutti - Mechanic : And now that your wife is the President, my wife is a pain in the neck! I should ship her back to the old country where she will learn again who's the boss, huh?

• Thaddeus McCloud : I'm a freak. I'm the first First Lady with a background in electronics and they don't know what to do with me. *I* don't know what to do with me.

• Doris Reid Weaver : The men's line hasn't been doing too well lately. Doris Reid Products has sort of a - a feminine connotation and men just naturally shy away from it. Now, it'd be a different story with you as Vice President in charge of the men's division.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Vice President?

  Doris Reid Weaver : You'd give the products a whole new image. A real he-man, two-fisted, lady-killer image!

• Thaddeus McCloud : You know, I already have a slogan: If you want to feel like a man, smell like a man.

• Press Secretary Harrington : After Valdez left the nightclub, he wound up in the apartment of Nana Peel.

  Leslie McCloud : Nana Peel? Who is Nana Peel?

  Thaddeus McCloud : She's a stripper.

  Press Secretary Harrington : Apparently they became very noisy because neighbors called the police.

• Leslie McCloud : Hello, little boy.

  [feeling Thad's chest under his pajama top] 

  Thaddeus McCloud : Hello, cuddles.

• Doris Reid Weaver : The fragrance even varies on - different parts of the body.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Is that so?

  Doris Reid Weaver : Here, smell in the hollow of my neck.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Oh, yeah, that - that - that's the best yet.

  Doris Reid Weaver : Oh, darling, remember when we were young and foolish. I feel exactly that way now.

• Leslie McCloud : How'd you like to fly to Norfolk?

  Thaddeus McCloud : Why Norfolk?

  Leslie McCloud : Where the Presidential yacht has just been overhauled.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Yacht?

  Leslie McCloud : For an overnight cruise on Chesapeake Bay?

  Thaddeus McCloud : I don't believe it. Propositioned by the Chief of State!

• Leslie McCloud : I was rather rough on you this morning, wasn't I?

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, to put it gently: yeah!

• Thaddeus McCloud : O'Connor don't look at me that way.

  Secret Service Agent John O'Connor : Oh, sorry, sir. I didn't know I had a particular look.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, you did. A non-alcoholic mother-in-law look.

• Doris Reid Weaver : I've been waiting to hear from you about my job offer.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, Doris, I keep blowing hot and cold on the idea. I don't know.

  Doris Reid Weaver : I just have to catch you while you're hot.

• Leslie McCloud : Darling, I'm sorry.

  [puts her arms around Thad] 

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, there are times when a man just a...

  Leslie McCloud : A man has to what?

  [long kiss] 

  Thaddeus McCloud : When a man has to assert himself. It's been a long time.

  [pulls Leslie down onto the bed] 

  Leslie McCloud : Thad! Between meetings?

  Thaddeus McCloud : If this is life in the White House, so be it.

  [kiss] 

• Thaddeus McCloud : Me? On television? In front of 50 million people?

• Leslie McCloud : I couldn't believe my ears this morning when I heard Peter actually threatening the school principal. He's turned into the world's worst bully - protected by his secret service agents.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, I'll take care of that young man.

  Leslie McCloud : No, darling, I've already spanked him.

• Leslie McCloud : Oh, Thad, do you realize the ridiculous position you'll put us both in if you take that job?

  Thaddeus McCloud : Speaking of ridiculous positions, were you ever concerned about what you did to me? I was a proud husband and a good father before you turned me into the First Lady or whatever I'm supposed to be.

• Leslie McCloud : You always told me you and Doris were a riot together. What's the name of that game?

  Thaddeus McCloud : It isn't any game. It was strictly a professional demonstration.

  Leslie McCloud : Whose profession? Yours or hers?

• Thaddeus McCloud : This firm in which Sen. Walsh was a partner, is registered with the Justice Department as an agent on the payroll of a foreign government.

  Sen. Walsh : Object. This is libel!

  Thaddeus McCloud : The government of Mr. Valdez, to be exact. Sent Sen. Walsh accuses the President of being prejudiced against Mr. Valdez, may I suggest that Sen. Walsh is who seems to be prejudiced, highly prejudiced, for him.

  Sen. Walsh : That's libel! That is libel, sir! That's libel! That is libel! It's libel! It's libel! It's libel!

• Thaddeus McCloud : Doris has offered me a job and she was showing...

  Leslie McCloud : Offered you a job?

  Thaddeus McCloud : Yes!

  Leslie McCloud : With the Doris Reid Beauty Salon? Are they going to change your name to Lucky Pierre?

• Leslie McCloud : You haven't said one word to me about her. I still wouldn't have known if you hadn't have come home smelling like a rose water factory.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Oh, that. Well, you see, Doris was a - showing me how the same perfume changes its scent when its put on different parts of the body.

  Leslie McCloud : Oh, that sounds like good clean fun. What different parts?

• Thaddeus McCloud : [At Doris Weaver's party, after downing several shot glasses of a new drink to his taste -- 140-proof green Chartreuse, to the astonishment of the waiters]  I feel as though there were a civil war going on inside me, and both sides are losing.

• Gloria McCloud : Oh, father! As long as I'm going to be miserable, please put me in a private school for girls where I won't see what I'm missing.

  Thaddeus McCloud : Gloria, you mother and I decided that you should both continue going to public school. There'll be no special privileges just because you happen to be the president's children.

  Gloria McCloud : Special privileges. I mean, am I supposed to give up my whole life for my country?

• Thaddeus McCloud : Tell me, whatever happened to the President?

  Leslie McCloud : I left her downstairs.

  Thaddeus McCloud : I never had any luck with her anyway.

• Thaddeus McCloud : I wouldn't want this to get around, but I love you, madam President.

• Doris Reid Weaver : Look, Thad, why don't you stop by the house, real soon, for cocktails and a... nice, long chat?

  Thaddeus McCloud : Well, thanks, Doris. That, uh, that'll be fine.

  Doris Reid Weaver : Good.

  [Walking away] 

  Doris Reid Weaver : Oh, and, uh, bring the president if you like. Bye."