The Hollywood Squares (Daytime) (1965–1980)

Cliff Arquette: Charley Weaver - Panelist, Charley Weaver, Charley Weaver - Center Square

Quotes 

• Peter Marshall : You're a 71-year-old man who has lost interest in sex. Does your doctor have anything to help you?

  Charley Weaver : No, but his nurse does.

• Peter Marshall : Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?

  Charley Weaver : Dennis Weaver. That's why they asked the question.

• Peter Marshall : According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. What should people from California be prepared for?

  Charley Weaver : The people from Florida and the people from the Midwest.

• Peter Marshall : According to the nursery rhyme, "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she didn't know what to do". What did she give her children to eat?

  Charley Weaver : She lived in a shoe? Filet of sole!

• Peter Marshall : Why do people refer to ships as "she?"

  Charley Weaver : Because both have round bottoms.

• Peter Marshall : Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?

  Charley Weaver : A divorcee.

• Peter Marshall : Charley, how many balls are on a pool table in a standard game of 8-ball?

  Charley Weaver : How many men are on the table?

• Peter Marshall : Arthur Hailey had a very successful movie and novel called "Hotel". He has a new best seller about another stopover point. What is it called?

  Charley Weaver : Service Station.

• Peter Marshall : What do most dentists say you should do with your dentures when you go to bed?

  Charley Weaver : Out at the home, we throw them into the center of the room and have a swap party.