Eli Wallach: Tuco
Photos
Quotes
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[Tuco is in a bubble bath. The One Armed Man enters the room]
One Armed Man : I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.
[Tuco kills him with the gun he has hidden in the foam]
Tuco : When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
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Tuco : [in the cave where his friends Pedro, Chico and Ramon are hiding] If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?
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[last lines]
Tuco : [shouting] Hey, Blond! You know what you are? Just a dirty son-of-a-b-!
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Blondie : I'll keep the money and you can have the rope.
Tuco : You filthy, double-crossing bastard! Of all the stinking, dirty tricks...
Blondie : The way back to town is only 70 miles. You know, if you save your breath, I feel a man like you could manage it. Adiós.
Tuco : You-you-you filthy bastard! Come here! Come here! Take -cut this rope off! Get off that horse. Get off that horse! You filthy coward! If I ever catch you, l'll rip your heart out and eat it! I'll skin you alive! I'll hang you up by your thumbs. You thief! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Blondie : [clicks his tongue] Such ingratitude, after all the times I've saved your life.
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Tuco : [thinking the cavalry they've met are Confederate] Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! HURRAH! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... what's his name?
Blondie : Lee.
Tuco : Lee! LEE! Ha ha! God is with us because he hates the Yanks too. HURRAH!
Blondie : [spits] God's not on our side because he hates *idiots* also.
[the commander of the cavalry patrol they've met reveals his blue uniform]
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Tuco : There are two kinds of spurs, my friend. Those that come in by the door; those that come in by the window.
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Tuco : I never hurt anybody!
Officer : ...wanted in 14 counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices, the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money, and, contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards...
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Tuco : [to his brother the priest] While I'm waiting for the Lord to remember me, I, Tuco Ramirez, brother of "Brother" Ramirez will tell you something! You think you're better than I am... where we came from, if one did not want to die in poverty, one became a priest or a bandit! You chose your way, I chose mine. *Mine* was harder! You talk about Mother and Father... you forget that when you left to become a priest *I* stayed behind! I must have been ten, twelve, I don't remember which, but *I stayed*! I tried, but it was no good! Now I'm going to tell you something... you became a priest because you were too much of a coward to do what *I* do!
[Pablo strikes Tuco across the face. Tuco retaliates with a right hook that sends Pablo crashing into various items. Tuco heads for the doorway]
Father Pablo Ramirez : Tuco...
[Tuco pauses at the doorway, then, without turning around, gives a dismissive wave and exits. Pablo stares ruefully after him]
Father Pablo Ramirez : Please forgive me, brother.
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Tuco : I'm very happy you are working with me! And we're together again.
[pause]
Tuco : I get dressed, I kill him and be right back.
Blondie : Listen, I forgot to mention... He's not alone. There's five of 'em.
Tuco : Five?
Blondie : Yeah, five of 'em.
Tuco : So, that's why you came to Tuco.
[pause]
Tuco : It doesn't matter, I'll kill them all.
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Tuco : [to Corporal Wallace] I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise. And sometimes they never get up.
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Tuco : There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting.
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[a dying man has information Tuco wants]
Tuco : Don't die, I'll get you water. Stay there. Don't move, I'll get you water. Don't die until later.
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Tuco : You never had a rope around your neck. Well, I'm going to tell you something. When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the Devil bite your ass.
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Tuco : You want to know who you are? Huh? You want to know whose son you are? You don't, I do, everybody does. You're the son of a thousand fathers, all bastards like you. And your mother? Your mother - you bastard! Your mother, it's better not to talk of her. I never hurt anybody!
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Tuco : I'm looking for the owner of that horse. He's tall, blonde, he smokes a cigar, and he's a pig!
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[as they set out across the desert]
Tuco : What was it you told me the last time? Ah, yes..."If you save your breath I feel a man like you can manage it." And if you won't manage it, you'll die... only slowly. *Very* slowly, old friend.
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Blondie : You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. We cut down my percentage - uh, cigar? - liable to interfere with my aim.
Tuco : But if you miss you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco. Nothing!
[Chuckles, bites cigar]
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Tuco : [tied up and laying on the porch of the sheriff's office, after being dumped there by Blondie as he walks in to collect his bounty money... then, the sheriff walk out] Who the hell is that? One bastard goes in, another comes out!
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Tuco : [trying to read a grave that is marked "Unknown"] Unk-... unk-... there's no name on it.
Blondie : [showing him the stone the name was supposed to be written on stone] There's no name here, either. See, that's what Bill Carson told me... it was the grave marked "Unknown" right beside Arch Stanton.
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One-armed Union soldier : [Wallace and Tuco are at the train station, handcuffed together] Hey, corporal, afraid he'll get lost? Where's the Rebel going?
Cpl. Wallace : To Hell, with a rope around his neck and a price on his head.
Tuco : Yeah... three thousand dollars, friend. That's a lot of money for a head.
[He flips the soldier's empty sleeve]
Tuco : I bet they didn't even pay you a penny for your arm.
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Jackson : [trying to tell in which grave the gold is hidden] There's no number... there's a name... it's written...
[chokes and gasps a couple of times, then]
Jackson : Water!
Tuco : You talk first, I'll give you water later! Sad Hill Cemetery, okay, in the grave okay! But it must have a name or a number on it! There must be a thousand, five thousand!
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Tuco : Hey! Hey everybody look! He's giving him the filthy money! Judas! You sold my hide! But you won't enjoy any of that money, not a penny. If there's justice, that money will go to the undertakers! Every penny of it, huh.
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Tuco : I would like to piss, it's rough. I've been shaking up in this train nearly ten hours now.
Cpl. Wallace : You smell like a pig already. Let's try not to make things any worse.
[He shoves Tuco to the carriage door]
Cpl. Wallace : Get going.
[Tuco stands at the edge of the carriage and pauses]
Tuco : I can't while you're watching me.
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Tuco : Ah, my belly's full. Nice guy, my brother. I didn't tell you my brother was in charge here? Everything. Like the Pope, almost. He's in charge in Rome. Yeah, yeah, my brother, he say to me, "Stay, brother, don't go home. We never see each other. Here, there's plenty to eat and drink. Bring your friend, too." Whenever we see each other, he never lets me go. It's always the same story. My brother, he's crazy about me.
[His tone becomes wistful]
Tuco : That's so... even a tramp like me, no matter what happens, I know there's a brother somewhere who'll never refuse me... a bowl of soup.
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Tuco : [to Corporal Wallace] I told you once, friend, if I ever get you down, you're going to need a lot of help to get back up again!
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Tuco : [Sitting by the dry, dehydrated Blondie's bedside, desperately begging him to tell him what name is on the grave the gold is buried in] I... I must tell you the truth, Blondie. In my place, you would do the same thing. It's all over for you now. There's nothing anyone can do any more.
[Covers his face to stifle a fake sob]
Tuco : Oh, God, forgive me! It's my fault!
[He beats the sides of his head in mock despair and frustration]
Tuco : Mine, mine, mine, mine! I'll tell you one thing, Blondie. If I knew that my last hour had come, I swear, in my place... in your place I would do the same thing. I would tell about the gold. Yes, yes, I would. I would tell the name on the grave. What good is the money if you're dead? I know the name of the cemetery. But you know how many graves there are there? Please. Blondie, please. Have a little... coffee? Please, tell me the name. On... on the grave. If I get my hands on the 200,000 dollars, I'll always honour your memory. I swear, I'll always honour your memory.
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Tuco : What about our parents?
Father Pablo Ramirez : Only now do you think of them? To begin after nine years...
Tuco : [startled] Nine years?
[tries to laugh it off]
Tuco : So it's nine years. Nine years!
Father Pablo Ramirez : Our mother has been dead a long time now.
[the smile fades from Tuco's face]
Father Pablo Ramirez : Our father died a few days ago. That's why I was away. He asked for you to be there... but there was only me.
[Tuco is hit hard by the news. Pablo studies him]
Father Pablo Ramirez : And you... outside of evil, what else have you managed to do? It seems to me you once had a wife somewhere.
Tuco : [pulls himself together and turns to face Pablo, his eyes still brimming with tears] Not one, lots of them! One here, one there, wherever I found them!
[almost snarls]
Tuco : Go on, preach me a sermon, Pablo!
Father Pablo Ramirez : What good would that be?
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[Tuco spits on the ground as he's carried into town. His hands are tied behind on his back, and he's slung over Blondie's horse like a rug]
Tuco : ¡Hijo de una puta que te parió! You'll pay for this! I hope you end up in a graveyard, with the cholera and the rabies and the plague! Cut me loose! Cut me loose, you filthy bastard! Put me down! I hope your mother ends up in a two-dollar whorehouse! Cut me loose! Cut me loose!
[Blondie arrives at the Sheriff's office]
Tuco : Let me go, and I'll pardon you. Let me go! I think I feel sick. The blood is bursting through my...
[Blondie pulls Tuco off the horse and holds him against an awning beam]
Tuco : I'm dry, Blondie. Water...
[He spits in Blondie's face and laughs giddily. Blondie slaps him]
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Blondie : [watching the soldiers fighting on the bridge] I have a feeling it's really gonna be a good, long battle.
Tuco : Blondie, the money's on the other side of the river.
Blondie : Oh? Where?
Tuco : Amigo, I said on the other side, and that's enough. But while the Confederates are there we can't get across.
Blondie : What would happen if somebody were to blow up that bridge?
Tuco : Yeah. Then these idiots would go somewhere else to fight.
Blondie : [lighting his match] Maybe.
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Angel Eyes : [to Wallace] Be sure these two get good treatment.
Tuco : [innocently] Hey, Blondie. Did you hear that? Good treatment.
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Tuco : If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?
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Angel Eyes : Why are you going under the name Bill Carson now?
Tuco : One name is as good as another. Not wise to use your own name. Like you! I'll bet they don't call you Angel Eyes! Sergeant Angel Eyes!
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Alcoholic Union Captain : We have two attacks a day.
Tuco : [appalled] Two attacks a day?
Alcoholic Union Captain : Sure, the Rebs have decided that damn bridge is the key to this whole area. Stupid, useless bridge. Flyspeck on headquarters' maps. And headquarters has declared we must take that ridiculous flyspeck even if all of us are killed. Otherwise, the key will get rusty and just be a spot on the wall.
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Tuco : I got a good sense of where I'm going. Tuco has taken you this far. I will take you all the way to...
[He and Blondie are suddenly surrounded by Union soldiers carrying bayonets]
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Tuco : Even the armies are afraid to march through there. Sibley's men are retreating up there. Canby's men are coming here. But no one will set foot in this hell, except you and me.
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Tuco : I'm looking for the owner of that horse. He's tall, blond, he smokes a cigar, and he's a pig! Where is he now?
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Tuco : Carson, Carson, yeah, yeah. Glad to meet you, Carson. I'm Lincoln's grandfather. What was that you said about the dollars?
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Tuco : I don't know, soon as I hit the desert I'm thirsty. Burns, huh? They say people with fair skin can't take too much.
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Tuco : To hell with all you sheriffs and deputies and all who gave birth to you!
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Pistolero Recruited by Tuco in the Cave : People are saying you got killed in Albuquerque.
Tuco : And people talk bull shit.
[Pistoleros laugh]
Tuco : I'm alive you bastards and I always will be!
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Tuco : Potatoes. You've got to be poor to eat potatoes. Really poor. I'm rich, but I'm lonely. The world is divided into two parts: those who have friends and those who are lonely like poor Tuco.
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Angel Eyes : Like a little music with your meal, Tuco?
Tuco : Music? Yes. Very good for the digestion.
