David Frost Presents (TV Series)
How to Irritate People (1969)
John Cleese: Self, Dad, Pepperpot, Boyfriend, Teddy, Man at Party, Son, Bored Pilot, Silly Job Interviewer, Presenter, Julian Trevelyan
Photos
Quotes
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John Cleese : This ruthless concentration on one's self is a successful irritant widely practiced by women. A friend of mine once demonstrated this to me at a large party. He stood in the middle of the room and said very loudly, "The trouble with women is that they always take things personally." Four women immediately replied, "Well I Don't."
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Flight Attendant : Hang on, there's someone going into the washroom. Wait, he's in, he's in.
Flight Attendant , Bored Pilot , Bored Pilot : Five, four, three, two, one.
Bored Pilot : Please return to your seats and fasten you safety belts immediately.
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Teddy : What animal makes the noise, "meow?"
Mrs.Maurice : A car?
Teddy : Nearly! Ca... ca... ca...
Mrs.Maurice : Ca... ca... bus?
Teddy : No. Ca... ca...
Mrs.Maurice : Aeroplane?
Teddy : No, no! Ca... ca... ca...
Mrs.Maurice : Ca... ca... ca... MOTOR TORPEDO BOAT!
Teddy : NO, NO, NO! Ha, ha, ha... bad luck, Mrs. Morris, jolly good try. No, Mrs. Morris, what ANIMAAAAAAL... ha, ha... makes the noise "meow?"
Mrs.Maurice : Oh, that's easy. A cat.
Teddy : A what?
Mrs.Maurice : A cat!
Teddy : Then why did you say "motor torpedo boat?"
Mrs.Maurice : I'M 943!
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Bored Pilot : Please find the emergency spill in the washroom at the back and release it!
Bored Pilot : But do not unfasten your safety belt!
Flight Attendant : That's got 'em back to their seats.
Bored Pilot : The emergency spill must be released!
Bored Pilot : But do not leave your seats!
Bored Pilot : Do not panic!
Bored Pilot : Tea will be served.
Bored Pilot : Inflate your lifejackets!
Bored Pilot : And extinguish all cigarettes!
Bored Pilot : Please remove the luggage from the racks above your heads and please it on the other side of the aircraft.
Bored Pilot : Except for hand luggage...
Bored Pilot : Which you should sit on!
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John Cleese : Why would you want to watch this? It's a costume thing.
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John Cleese : [on the Pepperpots] These ladies are effective, but they're not very subtle. It's quite clear what they're up to. It's rather like, for example, going to a football game and cheering for a team that isn't playing, or wearing fancy dress at a funeral, or setting fire to Julie Andrews. It's irritating, but its obvious. It's much more satisfying if you can irritate someone by pretending to be considerate.
