The Magic Christian (1969)
Peter Sellers: Sir Guy Grand
Photos
Quotes
-
Youngman Grand, Esq. : Dad, do you think words corrupt?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : I don't know, let's try. Agnes?
Dame Agnes Grand : [looks up from the television] Yes?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : Nipple.
Dame Agnes Grand : Shh!
[turns back to the television]
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [watches her a moment] Well, there's no immediate physical change.
-
Ginger Horton : Ah! My Second World War Nazi atrocity book came at last.
[turns to Youngman, dog in her lap, and browses the book]
Ginger Horton : Do you know what Bitsy and I do? We sit down and imagine all those atrocities being done to sex criminals. - Yes, sex criminals and the like. And that Dr Thorndike!
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [overhearing] What's that, Ginge? Bill Thorndike a sexy criminal?
Ginger Horton : The man you sent me to. He behaved VERY strangely.
-
Traffic warden #27 : What's your game, Mister?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [riffling a wad of bills under the warden's nose, to persuade him to eat a parking ticket] Grand is the name, and, uh - money is the game. Would you care to play?
-
Sir John : [Oxford has just purposely rammed Cambridge, at the annual Boat Race] It would never have happened in my day!
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : Nor mine!
Youngman Grand, Esq. : Well, it's happenin' in mine!
-
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [on being told a Rembrandt might fetch £10,000 at auction] In that case my final offer is thirty.
Mr. Dougdale : [stunned] Thirty - thousand - pounds? Shit! I beg your pardon, I do beg your pardon.
-
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [as he and Youngman admire a painting] I like school of Rembrandt.
Youngman Grand, Esq. : St. Rembrandt's High.
-
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [voiceover, as a £10 note appears onscreen] Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people. We'll be using quite a bit of it in the next two hours... luckily I have enough for ALL of us.
-
Hamlet : [Laurence Harvey, onstage] "To be..."
Youngman Grand, Esq. : [loud enough to be heard, turning to Sir Guy] I've seen it.
Hamlet : "Or not to be... that is the question."
Youngman Grand, Esq. : Shakespeare, right?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [whispers, eyes toward the stage] Right, and double right.
-
Youngman Grand, Esq. : You're certainly puttin' everybody on today, Dad.
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : Well, you know, Youngman, sometimes it's not enough merely to teach. One has to punish as well. A little bit of the old pause.
Youngman Grand, Esq. : Cause for pause?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : Yes.
-
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [a police car drives up to Grand's car] Could be routine, or... mere damnable harassment.
-
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [Laurence Harvey performs a strip tease while playing Hamlet] This chap's taking licence in my view?
-
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE : [speaking with the Oxford crew, before the annual Boat Race] We have come here, in fact, to make you a very interesting offer...
Youngman Grand, Esq. : ...of money.
Oxford crew : [as the whole crew laughs] I think... I think they're trying to bribe us!
Oxford coach : [giving a matter-of-fact look] They ARE.