The Partridge Family (1970–1974)
Dave Madden: Reuben Kincaid, Reuben Clarence Kincaid
Photos
Quotes
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Danny : You can't blame me. I'm just a kid.
Reuben Kincaid : No, you're not. You're a midget in a kid suit.
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Reuben Kincaid : Danny, if you'd like to go to the beach with me, I'll let you swim in the riptide.
Danny : Riptides are dangerous.
Reuben Kincaid : Aw, who told you that?
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Reuben Kincaid : Danny, if you're ever thinking of running away from home, do it.
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Reuben Kincaid : Free speech is great, until it's someone else speaking.
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Christopher "Chris" Partridge #2 : C'mon, let's play a game, Mr. Kincaid.
Tracy Partridge : Yeah, let's play a game.
Reuben Kincaid : Okay, okay. Let's play a game called "Lost."
Danny : How do you play?
Reuben Kincaid : Well, I'll hide my eyes and you three kids run away from home - far and fast - and keep running until you're lost.
Tracy Partridge : Then what?
Reuben Kincaid : In three weeks, I'll come look for you. If I find you, I lose.
Tracy Partridge : What if you *don't* find us?
Reuben Kincaid : Well, then I win.
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Danny : You know we think a lot alike.
Reuben Kincaid : I know and sometimes it scares me.
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Reuben Kincaid : [to Shirley] ... There is a good side to Danny getting his tonsils taken out: He may not be able to talk for days.
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Reuben Kincaid : Why couldn't I take a nice SAFE job? Like milking cobras!
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Reuben Kincaid : What do eleven-year-olds do on a date?
Keith : I don't know. They can't neck, Danny doesn't have one.
Reuben Kincaid : Wish I'd said that.
Keith : Mmmm. Glad I did.
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Reuben Kincaid : ...You can read about it when I write my memoirs, "The Thrilling Adventures of Reuben Kincaid"!
Laurie Partridge : It'll be a thin book.
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Shirley Renfrew Partridge : Reuben, why is it you always manage to drop in when I bake an apple pie?
Tracy Partridge : He gives me a dime to tell him.
Reuben Kincaid : I hate to not-eat-and-run, but I gotta go.
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Shirley Renfrew Partridge : Whatever gave you the idea you could operate your own Lonely Hearts Club?
Danny : I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. What you said is, "Reuben needs a wife."
Reuben Kincaid : I need a *what*?
Tracy Partridge : I told them to get you a goldfish, but they wouldn't listen.
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Reuben Kincaid : ...Shirley, trust me.
Danny : That's asking too much.
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Danny : ...You know, we think a lot alike.
Reuben Kincaid : I know. And sometimes it scares me.
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Reuben Kincaid : ...Good day.
Danny : It was until now.
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Reuben Kincaid : ...You know, Shirley, I was thinking...
Danny : In Mr. Kincaid's case, that can be dangerous.
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Reuben Kincaid : ...The army hasn't admitted making a mistake since 1952.
Danny : What happened in 1952?
Reuben Kincaid : They drafted me.
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Reuben Kincaid : ...You know, we'll laugh about this in five or ten years - whenever we get out of prison.
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Shirley Renfrew Partridge : ...I appreciate your volunteering to take the kids to the beach, but it just doesn't sound like you.
Keith : I've been thinking: since I'm the eldest male, I have a lot of influence on them. Besides, I'm old enough to accept my responsibilities and give them the kind of leadership they need.
Reuben Kincaid : Keith, have you been talking to a Marine recruiter?
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Reuben Kincaid : ...Tell me, did your mother ever tell you not to play in traffic?
Danny : Of course.
Reuben Kincaid : Too bad.
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Reuben Kincaid : ...I just can't believe it! Keith Partridge flunking sex education! Well, he and I finally have something in common.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge : Reuben, they didn't teach sex education when you went to high school.
Reuben Kincaid : Yeah, I know. But I flunked it anyway.
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Reuben Kincaid : Kincaid's Law: A dry client equals a broke manager.
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Reuben Kincaid : ...You have my word as a gentleman.
Danny : Thanks, but I'd rather have someone watching you.
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Reuben Kincaid : Hey, kid. You want to be among friends?
Danny : Yeah!
Reuben Kincaid : Go stand in front of a bug light.
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Reuben Kincaid : I don't know. You people have a live record date in two days and all I get is, "Rueben, he just walked in the door".
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Reuben Kincaid : [Reuben's car is stuck in deep sand on an American Indian Reservation. A group of men in full Indian dress and war paint appear on horseback] I don't suppose you gentlemen are from the Auto Club...?
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Reuben Kincaid : Now that I understand, I wish I didn't understand.
