- Lt. Garber: [looking for the inspector] Inspector Daniels?
- Inspector Daniels: [identifying himself] Daniels.
- Lt. Garber: [realizing that Inspector Daniels is Black] Oh, I, uh, thought you were, uh, like a shorter guy or... I don't know what I thought.
- Caz Dolowicz: Oh, come on. If I've got to watch my language just because they let a few broads in, I'm going to quit. How the hell can you run a goddamn railroad without swearing?
- Lt. Rico Patrone: What's up, Z?
- Lt. Garber: You won't believe it.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: You know me, I'll believe anything.
- Lt. Garber: A train has been hijacked.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: I don't believe it.
- Lt. Garber: [Speaking to the wounded male undercover officer with long hair, face down on the tracks] We'll have an ambulance here in no time, miss.
- Mr. Blue: Ladies and gentlemen, it might interest you to know that the City of New York has agreed to pay for your release.
- [Hostages cheer]
- Old Man: Excuse me, sir. Would you mind telling us now how much you're getting?
- Mr. Blue: Why is that of interest to you, sir?
- Old Man: Well, a person likes to know his worth.
- Mr. Blue: One million dollars.
- Old Man: That's not so terrific.
- Mr. Green: Look, I got my rights! This is my home! I just want a little peace and quiet. Now, just do me a favor, willya? Get the hell out of here!
- Lt. Garber: Sorry if we bothered you, Mr. Longman. C'mon, Rico.
- [Mr. Green sneezes]
- Lt. Garber: Gesundheit.
- [beat, then Garber reopens the door, to glare knowingly at Mr. Longman, who, he's now certain is 'Mr. Green']
- Mr. Blue: Excuse me, do you people still execute in this state?
- Lt. Garber: What? Oh, execute. No, not at the moment.
- Mr. Blue: Pity.
- [he then steps on the 3rd rail - electrocuting himself]
- Lt. Garber: These are the assignment desks, one for each of the lines. This is the BMT, the IRT. Here's the IND. There's our artist in residence. And right through here's our operations lieutenant, Enrico Patrone, who on weekends works for the mafia.
- Mr. Blue: It is 2:24, Lieutenant, you've got 49 minutes.
- Lt. Garber: Be reasonable, will you? We're trying to cooperate with you but we can't do anything if you don't give us enough time to work with.
- Mr. Blue: 49 minutes.
- Lt. Garber: We're dealing with City Hall, for God's sake, you know what a mess of red tape that is?
- Mr. Blue: 49 minutes.
- Lt. Garber: Look, fella, we know how to tell time as well as you do, but we're not gonna get anywhere if all you do is repeat forty-nine minutes!
- Mr. Blue: Forty-*eight* minutes.
- Lt. Garber: Yeah, all right, we'll get back to you as soon as we can.
- [after shutting off the mic]
- Lt. Garber: Son of a bitch.
- Mrs. Jenkins: Grand Central Tower calling Command Center.
- Lt. Garber: Yeah, this is Command Center.
- Mrs. Jenkins: She's moving.
- Lt. Garber: Who's moving?
- Mrs. Jenkins: Pelham One Two Three.
- Lt. Garber: What? Since when?
- Mrs. Jenkins: Just started.
- Lt. Garber: Hold on, I'll put you on tie-in.
- Lt. Garber: Rico, she's moving.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Who's moving?
- Lt. Garber: Who d'ya think? Pelham.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: It's too soon, we're not set up yet.
- Lt. Garber: Which is probably why they did it. You heard from Daniels yet?
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Yeah, he's in a squad car on Park Avenue South.
- Lt. Garber: Inspector Daniels, she's moving, sir.
- Inspector Daniels: Who's moving?
- Lt. Garber: What's the matter with everybody? How many hijacked trains we got around here, anyway?
- Mr. Blue: Will you go back and mind the passengers, please? I do not want Mr. Brown and Mr. Grey left alone with them.
- Mr. Green: Don't you trust them?
- Mr. Blue: I trust Mr. Brown, I do not trust Mr. Grey. I think he's an enormous, arrogant pain in the ass who could turn out to be trouble. I also think that he is mad. Why do you think they threw him out of the Mafia?
- Mr. Green: Oh, terrific.
- Patrolman Miskowsky: This is a million dollars?
- Patrolman O'Keefe: It's what it buys, Albert, not what it weighs.
- Mayor: Warren, suppose the hijackers start shooting at me?
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: Will you stop? They have no reason to shoot at you.
- Mayor: Why? Do you think they're from out of town?
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: Get dressed, Al. I'll do the jokes.
- Mr. Green: What's your name, motorman?
- Denny Doyle: Uh, Denny Doyle.
- Mr. Green: Ever get written up?
- Denny Doyle: Uh, yes, sir. Once.
- Mr. Green: What for?
- Denny Doyle: Running a red signal. How about you?
- Mr. Green: Twice. Once on the Canarsie...
- Mr. Blue: That's right, Mr. Green. Tell Mr. Doyle all about yourself, will you?
- Lt. Garber: Did you get that list of motormen who were discharged for cause I asked you to get?
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Yeah: 78 names.
- Lt. Garber: 78?
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Yeah, but it's not that bad. Eight are dead, 22 were rehired, 11 are in jail, 26 moved away, one's in a mental institution, and another's a member of the New York Police Department.
- Lt. Garber: That's our man right there.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Sorry to disappoint you, Zachary, but he was accounted for.
- Mayor: Warren, I've thought it over. I know what we're going to do.
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: You tell me.
- Mayor: We're going to let 'em keep the goddamn subway train. Hell, we've got plenty of them; we'll never even miss it.
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: How about the 18 hostages, Al? Are we going to miss them?
- Mayor: Warren, goddammit, this city hasn't got a million dollars!
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: Then you better empty out one of your Swiss bank accounts because there's no other way out.
- Mayor: Don't we get even to think about it?
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: There's no time.
- Mayor: All right. I still want the full picture. Get me the police commissioner, the chairman of the Transit Authority, and that putz we've got for a Comptroller.
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: They're on their way over. But it's no good running to them, Al. You're the man. The buck stops with you.
- Mayor: Oh, shit!
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: God help us.
- Mayor: Shit! Piss! Fuck!
- Lt. Garber: Rico, you want to make yourself useful? Get personnel and tell them to get together a list of all motormen discharged for cause during the past five to ten years.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: What are you looking for?
- Lt. Garber: Somebody down there knows how to drive a train. You don't pick that up watching Sesame Street. Tell them we want it today.
- Correll: I don't give a rat's ass for your fucking instructions. I'm not lifting a finger to help the killers of Caz Dolowicz.
- Correll: [Grabbed by the shirt by Lt.Garber] Hey, Jesus!
- Lt. Garber: Now you listen to me, you dumb son of a bitch. You don't do what I tell you, you'll be having *dinner* tonight with Caz Dolowicz!
- Mr. Gray: [whistling] Hold it right there, cowboy!
- Caz Dolowicz: Who the fuck are you?
- Mr. Gray: Well you'll find out if you take one more step!
- Caz Dolowicz: I'm warnin' you, mister, that's city property you're fooling around with! Why didn't you go grab a goddamn airplane like everybody else?
- Mr. Gray: 'Cause we're afraid of flyin'! Now get back!
- Caz Dolowicz: The hell with you, I'm comin' on board!
- Mr. Gray: I warned ya, stupid!
- [shoots Dolowicz]
- Denny Doyle: You're still in switching. Why don't you peg it up to series? You're green all the way.
- Mr. Green: Nah, we're in no hurry.
- [Mr. Green sneezes]
- Denny Doyle: Cold sounds pretty bad.
- Mr. Green: I don't know. I woke up in the middle of the night.
- [bright flash followed by a loud 'bang']
- Mr. Green: Sheesh.
- Mr. Blue: What happened?
- Mr. Green: Must have bucked.
- Mr. Blue: You told me you could drive this thing.
- Mr. Green: It wasn't me.
- Denny Doyle: No, it was the train. She bucks all the time, especially in that switching. She's a dog.
- Mr. Blue: Now, then, ladies and gentlemen, do you see this gun? It fires 750 rounds of 9-millimeter ammunition per minute. In other words, if all of you simultaneously were to rush me, not a single one of you would get any closer than you are right now. I do hope I've made myself understood.
- Caz Dolowicz: When did the power go? Hey, conductor, when did the power go?
- Conductor: Who wants to know?
- Caz Dolowicz: Me! The supervisor of the Grand Central Tower wants to know!
- Conductor: Oh yes, sir, a couple of minutes ago. Hey, what happened down there? A man go under?
- Caz Dolowicz: Who wants to know?
- Patrolman James: [reporting a shooting over the radio] They just shot him with a machine gun.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Is he dead?
- Patrolman James: Wouldn't *you* be, Lieutenant?
- Correll: Christ, to hear you plead with that chickenshit makes me ashamed to be an American.
- Lt. Garber: Go away, will you, Frank? Go play with your trains.
- Lt. Garber: Frank, how much longer before the track's clear all the way to South Ferry?
- Correll: You mean before this railroad is so totally fucked up it'll take a computer to put it back together?
- Lt. Garber: Yes, Frank, that's what I meant.
- Correll: About five or six minutes. I got a snag over at Brooklyn Bridge.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: This is Lieutenant Patrone, operations... Where are you now?
- Patrolman James: 28th Street southbound... Hey look, Lieutenant, everything cooled out, I mean nothing happening... Now what's going on?
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Look, don't react to this, but a train's been hijacked!
- Patrolman James: Holy shit!
- Lt. Rico Patrone: For God's sake, don't say anything!
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: Hallelujah! Alright, fellas, you heard him. Phil, pass the word to the bad guys that we're coughing up. Sid, what bank do we do the most business with?
- Transit Authority Chairman: City National Trust. I'll give them a call.
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: I'll call. You'll take an hour trying to knock down the interest rate.
- Mr. Blue: What did they catch you doing?
- Mr. Green: Nothing. They framed me. The beakies needed a fall guy.
- Mr. Blue: The beakies?
- Mr. Green: Transit cops. Undercover guys. They got wind of a gang passing dope, you know, transporting from downtown uptown and giving it to a motorman, somebody picking it up in Harlem. They tried to pin the evidence on me but they didn't find anything.
- Mr. Blue: You were innocent?
- Mr. Green: Course I was innocent. Do you think I'd do a thing like that? What's the matter with you?
- Mr. Blue: Keep those children quiet!
- The Mother: I'm trying, I can't.
- Mr. Blue: Do you want me to try?
- The Mother: Oh my God, no!
- Lt. Garber: Hey Pelham; it might interest you to know I figured out how you're gonna do it.
- Mr. Blue: [Mr. Blue, sitting in the motorman's car, picks up the mic] Yes, it would interest me vey much .
- Lt. Garber: You're gonna make every man, woman and child in New York City close their eyes and count to a hundred, right?
- Mr. Blue: Officer, I suppose you couldn't use a quarter of a million dollars, could you?
- Lt. Garber: Quarter of a million? No, thanks. My accountant says I've accepted enough for this fiscal quarter.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Wait a minute. I just figured out how they're going to get away.
- Lt. Garber: I'm listening.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: They're going to fly the train to Cuba.
- Lt. Garber: You're a sick man, Rico.
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: All right, Al. You've heard from the Three Wise Men. Now what do you say?
- Mayor: What are THEY going to say, Warren?
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: "They" who?
- Mayor: Who? Everybody: the press, the man on the street.
- Mayor's wife: He means the voters.
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: You know what they're going to say. The Times is going to support you. The News is going to knock you. The Post will take both sides at the same time. The rich will support you, likewise the blacks, and the Puerto Ricans won't give a shit. So come on, Al, quit stalling!
- Mayor: Will you stop bullying everybody, Warren? This is supposed to be a democracy!
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: Wise up, for chrissake, we're trying to run a city, not a goddamn democracy! Al, quit farting around--we've got to pay!
- Mayor: Jessie, Jessie, what do you say?
- Mayor's wife: I know a million dollars sounds like a lot of money. But just think what you'll get in return.
- Mayor: What?
- Mayor's wife: 18 sure votes.
- Mayor: All right, all right. Warren, Warren, arrange for the payoff!
- Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: Hallelujah.
- Correll: Don't bug me, Garber. I've got problems.
- Lt. Garber: Oh, yeah? What's the matter?
- Correll: Oh, nothing: a train is down, its radio's dead, the power's off, and it's dumped its load. Aside from that, everything's ginger-peachy.
- Mr. Green: I'm taking your brake handle, and the reverse key,
- [sneezes]
- Mr. Green: . I want your cut-in key also.
- [Doyle hands them to Mr. Green]
- Mr. Green: That's it.
- Mr. Blue: You'll be hearing from Command Center in a minute or two. You won't answer; you'll ignore the call. Is that perfectly clear, My. Doyle?
- Denny Doyle: Oh yeah, yes, sir, they can call all they want to. I'm deaf.
- Patrolman O'Keefe: I always wanted to do this. Look, we're scaring the shit out of everybody.
- Patrolman Miskowsky: Yeah, including me.
- Lt. Garber: Hey, Frank, you know who went down to 28th Street from Grand Central?
- Correll: Yeah, Caz Dolowicz. Why?
- Lt. Garber: Sheesh. I knew him.
- Correll: What do you mean, you "knew" him?
- Lt. Garber: They just shot him.
- Correll: Dead?
- [Garber nods]
- Correll: Caz? 'Fat Caz'?
- Lt. Garber: Yep.
- Correll: Awww, shit!
- Inspector Daniels: Garber, I just had a terrible thought: suppose they're not on the train? What if they set the throttle and jumped off? While we're chasing the train, they're sneaking out of an emergency exit somewhere behind us.
- Lt. Garber: Ingenious thought, sir, except for one thing: it's impossible.
- Inspector Daniels: Why?
- Lt. Garber: Little gizmo known as a dead man's feature. It was built into the controller handle in case a motorman should ever drop dead. The controller handle has to have a man's hand pressing down on it hard at all times. Otherwise, the thing don't work. The train stops cold.
- Inspector Daniels: Uh-huh. I see.
- Lt. Garber: Nice try, though.
- Lt. Garber: Inspector Daniels? She's moving, sir.
- Inspector Daniels: Who's moving?
- Lt. Garber: What's the matter with everybody? How many hijacked trains have we got around here, anyway?