The Good Life (1975–1978)

Penelope Keith: Margo Leadbetter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Margo : [reading from a card]  "The Ooh-Aah bird is so-called because it lays square eggs." I don't understand that.

• Barbara : I suppose we must be rather a blot on the avenue's escutcheon.

  Margo : Yes, you are.

  Barbara : Oh.

  Margo : But you are very dear friends. And by now I have risen like a phoenix from the fires of your eccentricities.

  Tom : Ah, don't she talk lovely!

  Barbara : Yeah, very nice.

  Margo : You know what I mean. Nothing you can do now will shock me. It's quite simple.

  Tom : Yes. I see that. When's the boar-walker coming, Barbara?

  Barbara : Tomorrow.

  Margo : Boar-walker? What's a boar-walker?

  Tom : This chap we know is bringing his boar to serve Pinky.

  Margo : With what?

  [Tom smiles] 

  Margo : Oh, my God!

  Barbara : Margo, you're shocked!

  Margo : Where?

  Tom : Not in here, in the garden.

  Margo : But I shall be able to see it over the fence.

  Barbara : Only if you're looking.

• Margo : Road cleaning, I shall pay. Street lighting, I shall pay. Ground rent, I shall pay. But when it comes to the drain in front of my house, I shall not. Because it is blocked up and overflowing.

  Mr. Squires - Clerk : I shall make a note of that.

  Margo : You will do more than that, Mr. Squires. You will have a plumber on my door step at nine o'clock tomorrow morning with a plunger in his hand, or you will not get a penny.

  Mr. Squires - Clerk : Just who do you think you are, Mrs. Ledbetter?

  Margo : I am the silent majority.

• Margo : Why don't you just throw a bucket of mud on the floor?

  Jerry : Look, I've just cut my finger clipping your blasted hedge.

  Margo : Don't swear, Jerry. And don't bleed in the sink, I've just cleaned it.

• Jerry : I was just telephoning to find out if I can have my car today. Oh, Tuesday.

  [Margo grabs the phone from Jerry] 

  Margo : What do you mean Tuesday?

  [to Jerry] 

  Margo : Be quiet!

  [on telephone] 

  Margo : I don't care if the spare parts come from Mars. Go and collect them. "A bottle-neck in the lube bay." What does that mean in English? Well, say lubrication, then.

  Jerry : Margo!

  Margo : [to Jerry]  Be quiet, Jerry.

  [on telephone] 

  Margo : All right. Go and look at your wretched worksheet. No, you may not tinkle me back. I'll hold on.

• Margo : Did I hear a dinner gong?

  Tom : Not unless the chicken jumped out of the oven and banged one.

• Tom : Come on, Margo. Get your hat on.

  Margo : This is the "Daily Mirror".

  Jerry : Please, have the "Telegraph".

  Margo : Thank you.

• Tom : [calls through the letterbox]  Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

  Margo : Tom!

  [pauses] 

  Margo : *What* is that?

  Tom : It's two dustbins on a trolley.

  Margo : I can see it's two dustbins on a trolley and when I asked you the question it was a rhetorical one which does not need a direct answer as you knew very well in the first place.

  Tom : Oh. You make me hold my breath when you do those long sentences, Margo.

  Margo : What *is* it?

  Tom : It's two rhetorical dustbins on a rhetorical trolley.

  Margo : Then will you kindly remove them from my crazy paving before someone sees us.

  Tom : They'd have less chance of seeing us if we hide behind the dustbins.