Bizarre (1979–1986)

John Byner: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Morley Wolfe : If I may, sir, this is a very touchy question: God created man, and God created woman... what about the homosexual?

  Malcolm Cooper : Hey, man, don't look at me. I dress like this 'cause I have to!

• Bob Einstein : This kind of stuff is not good. It's offensive. It's the kind of stuff we do on Fridays, we do it on Saturday Night Live...

  John Byner : I thought we had a few laughs.

  Bob Einstein : No, it doesn't work, though.

  John Byner : It was working. The people were laughing.

  Bob Einstein : It wasn't working. That kind of stuff is tasteless.

  John Byner : Tasteless?

  Bob Einstein : That kind of stuff is not... we don't do that. It's not funny.

  John Byner : Well, hey, I apologize. You know, I believe in taste. Good quality. Taste.

  Bob Einstein : You're the one that always says, "let's do tasty stuff." And so we all try to do tasty stuff and then you do something like that.

  John Byner : Well, I apologize. I apologize to the audience. I apologize to you, okay?

  Bob Einstein : Okay. Let's just try to keep taste in our show as much as possible.

  John Byner : All right, all right.

  Bob Einstein : All right. Go back in the dressing room and change for the next number.

  John Byner : What am I doing?

  Bob Einstein : Uh... put on the pink body stocking, with the plunger on your head. You're going to play one of...

  John Byner : I forgot; what am I playing?

  Bob Einstein : One of Dolly Parton's tits.