Smokey and the Bandit II (1980)

Burt Reynolds: Bandit

Photos 

Quotes 

• Buford T. Justice : [Leaning against his car with his gun pointed at Bandit]  Well as you can see Bandit, I've got my piece in my hand.

  'Bandit' : You've got your WHAT in your hand?

• [Cledus is standing over the Bandit, who's on the floor, drunk] 

  'Bandit' : Cledus, you've gotten taller.

  Cledus Snow : Yes, and you've gotten drunker. This place looks like a shithouse!

  [Bandit points to the bathroom] 

  'Bandit' : You want a shithouse? It's in there.

• 'Bandit' : Excuse me sir, but your ass is on fire. I bet you can't wait to get back home to Canada and stick it in the snow.

• 'Bandit' : I didn't take Charlotte to Texas.

  Carrie : You didn't?

  'Bandit' : No.

  Carrie : What about Big Enos?

  'Bandit' : Let him get his own elephant.

  Carrie : What about the money?

  'Bandit' : I blew it. But we can still make it.

  Carrie : Have you got more than a dollar?

  'Bandit' : Yeah.

  Carrie : In cash?

  'Bandit' : Yeah.

  Carrie : Then that's good enough.

• Cledus Snow : [punches Bandit and knocks him down]  Doc, I thought I loved him too much to do that to him.

  'Bandit' : Obviously not.

• Cledus Snow : [Bandit is being chased by a lot of police and Cledus is heading straight for them in his truck]  Tell me, how many trucks do you see?

  'Bandit' : I see one, unless I've been drinking.

  Cledus Snow : [yells in the CB]  Okay, boys... do it, to it!

  Cledus Snow : [19 trucks emerge from behind Snowman's truck]  Well, I must be commode-hangin' drunk, coz I see about twenty trucks. Ha ha!

• 'Bandit' : Hi, Buford!

  Buford T. Justice : Hello, you handsome sombitch!

• 'Bandit' : [finding out Charlotte's pregnant]  Who did it?

  Cledus Snow : Don't look at me.

  Doc : Probably another elephant.

  'Bandit' : I know that, when did it happen?

  Doc : Long time ago.

• Doc : Sure, take her in the truck, make the baby go bada-bing, bada-boom, but I'll tell you this, I'm not going to be responsible.

  [walks off muttering Italian] 

  Cledus Snow : [to the Bandit]  Don't you understand English? He says you can't be shaking Charlotte around in that truck, she's gonna have a baby!

  'Bandit' : We're talking about $400,000, do you understand that? This is our last chance! $400,000!

  Cledus Snow : I understand $400,000 and I would like to get my share of $400,000, but I ain't gonna kill an elephant to get it.

• 'Bandit' : You know I could take you head off.

  Cledus Snow : And you know that's just what you' gonna have to do.

  'Bandit' : What is WRONG with you idiots? You act like she's human!

  [sees tears running down Charlotte's face, Doc starts crying, Cledus tears up] 

  'Bandit' : I'm sorry, Charlotte.

• Terry Bradshaw : [Bandit drives along the sideline and pulls up next to Terry Bradshaw]  Hi, Bandit. Hi, Frog.

  Carrie : Hi, Terry.

  'Bandit' : Hey, I need a favor.

  Terry Bradshaw : You always do.

  'Bandit' : Yeah. Uh, do you still got your ranch in Shreveport?

  Terry Bradshaw : You betcha.

  'Bandit' : [Points]  Now, I don't have to tell you who that is.

  Terry Bradshaw : [Sees Smokey's police car drive onto the football field]  Haha, Buford T. Justice.

  'Bandit' : Could you hold him up for a while?

  Terry Bradshaw : Oh, I'd be glad to. Hey Joe!

  'Mean' Joe Greene : Yeah?

  Terry Bradshaw : ...Tackle that car!

  [Joe nods and gets in front of Smokey's car as it pulls up] 

  'Bandit' : Thanks, Ter!

  Terry Bradshaw : You owe me, Bandit!

  [Bandit drives off] 

• 'Bandit' : I got to quit this soon, or I'm gonna end up looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

• 'Bandit' : I'm the only guy in the world who could drink up a Trans-Am.

  Carrie : Can you imagine Roy Rogers selling Trigger for a 6-pack?

  'Bandit' : No.

• 'Bandit' : [trying to get back on the road after Charlotte gives birth]  She's as strong as an ox.

  Doc : She IS strong as an ox, NOW she has to get strong as an elephant.

• Carrie : [Gets angry at Bo and storms out of club ,he follows]  That is it for you! You have had it! You're hooked! You're a fame junkie! They should give you intravenous feedings of People magazine and National Enquirer headlines!... And if you're a real good boy,they'll give you a Tonight Show enema!

  'Bandit' : [Confused by her attitude]  What is the matter?

  Carrie : [Ignores him and concludes before leaving]  ... and if you weren't so dumb,they'd put you on Cross-Wits!

• 'Bandit' : Well, that's about enough

  Cledus Snow : Well, how many is that?

  'Bandit' : One

  Cledus Snow : One? You did one yesterday

  'Bandit' : I know, it hurt