- Headmaster: One problem area, the showers. What'll happen with the showers?
- Phil Menzies: Oh, she'll bring her own soap.
- Madeline: Nicest part is just before you taste it. Your mouth goes all tingly. But that can't go on for ever.
- Eric: In another million years, there'll be no men, no women. There'll just be people. Just a whole world full of wankers.
- [talking to Charlie about Gregory, after seeing him first with Carol, then Margo and finally Susan]
- Andy: There's definitely something in the air tonight, Charlie. That's three women in a row he's had.