The Secret Policeman's Other Ball (I) (1982)
Rowan Atkinson: Self, Various Roles
Quotes
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The Crazy Interviewer : Good evening. Tonight, we're taking a look at Beekeeping, and here to tell us all about it, we have in the studio a man who's been keeping bees for over forty years. Mr. Reginald Prawnbaum. Good evening, Mr. Prawnbaum.
Reginald Prawnbaum : Good evening.
The Crazy Interviewer : Tell me. What first interested you in the bee world, Mr. Prawnbaum?
Reginald Prawnbaum : Well, um, even as a child, I used to...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : I'm sorry, shouldn't I have said that?
The Crazy Interviewer : No, of course you should have. Pay no attention, please. When I say "Ssshh", it's just a nervous mannerism I've picked up. If, uh, if I want you to be quiet, I will say "Sush". You were saying?
Reginald Prawnbaum : Oh, well, even as a child, I used to wander around...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : [Briefly pauses] Oh, sorry. In the fields near my home, watching the bees fly from flower to flower...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...and taking note of the flowers that they visited.
The Crazy Interviewer : Sush.
Reginald Prawnbaum : Was that wrong?
The Crazy Interviewer : I'm so sorry, did I say "Sush"? I meant "Ssshh". Do go on, it's most interesting.
Reginald Prawnbaum : And so, I have grown to love the little...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...creatures. I mean, nature really has produced a little masterpiece in the life...
The Crazy Interviewer : QUACK! Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid that's a reflex action too. I squawk whenever someone mentions the word "life"... QUACK! You see, even when I mention it myself. I should have told you. Please go on.
Reginald Prawnbaum : Oh, uh, very well. Well, the bees are divided into different categories.
The Crazy Interviewer : Sssssshhhhh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : Uh, the Queen Bee, whose lifespan...
The Crazy Interviewer : QUACK!
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...whose living expectancy is only one year.
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
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Reginald Prawnbaum : The worker bees, on the other hand, have a much longer...
The Crazy Interviewer : Sush!
Reginald Prawnbaum : Do you want me to stop?
The Crazy Interviewer : Yes, you were just about to say "life"... QUACK!
Reginald Prawnbaum : I wasn't!
The Crazy Interviewer : [Almost laughing] Well I'm so sorry. Please, continue.
Reginald Prawnbaum : As I was saying, the worker bees have a much longer life.
The Crazy Interviewer : QUACK!
Reginald Prawnbaum : I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It's just... you've got me rather rattled now!
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : Well, this is how the bee community works: the Queen Bee...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : [Slightly irritated] ... stays in the hive...
The Crazy Interviewer : Prrt!
Reginald Prawnbaum : Is that because I said "hive"?
The Crazy Interviewer : Pardon? Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : Did you make that noise because I said the word "hive"?
The Crazy Interviewer : Oh, no, no, no, no.
Reginald Prawnbaum : Well why did you make it then?
The Crazy Interviewer : I was just practising.
Reginald Prawnbaum : Practising?
The Crazy Interviewer : Practising for a word you're bound to say very soon. Do go on.
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Reginald Prawnbaum : [Rolling his eyes] While the worker bees...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...fly from flower to flower...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...collecting...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...the...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh.
[Long pause. Prawnbaum prepares to say the word, and notices the Interviewer preparing to make the noise again]
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...pollen.
The Crazy Interviewer : Prrt.
[Prawnbaum looks down, finally fed up]
Reginald Prawnbaum : I see. Pollen!
The Crazy Interviewer : Prrt!
Reginald Prawnbaum : Pollen! Pollen! Pollen!
The Crazy Interviewer : Prrt! Prrt! Prrt!
Reginald Prawnbaum : I mean this is the... the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life!
The Crazy Interviewer : QUACK!
Reginald Prawnbaum : I mean every time I say, I say "pollen"...
The Crazy Interviewer : Prrt!
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...or "hive"...
The Crazy Interviewer : Ssshh!
Reginald Prawnbaum : ...or "life"...
The Crazy Interviewer : QUACK!
Reginald Prawnbaum : I mean... How did you ever get the job of being an interviewer?
