Izzy & Moe (1985 TV Movie)

Art Carney: Moe Smith

Photos 

Quotes 

• Izzy Einstein : Moe, I've known you for more than 25 years. You're a fraud, a con, and a crook - same as I am. And in every crook, there's a Fed tryin' to get out. I'm going to help you get that Fed out, if it's the last thing I do.

  Moe Smith : Iz, you're not well. You need help - you need a lotta' help.

• Moe Smith : [During a shootout with bootleggers, his arm has been nicked by a bullet]  Somebody just put a hole in me... And worse than that, they just put a hole in my suit. First time in my life I spent more than 29 dollars on a suit.

  Izzy Einstein : [Slightly incredulous]  You spent 29 dollars on that suit?

  Moe Smith : Yes!

  Izzy Einstein : Huh! Not only have you been shot - but you've been robbed.

• Izzy Einstein : [He and Moe, disguised as sailors, are about to bust a speakeasy]  Have you got some spirits? I think an alcoholic beverage would be a great help for my friend.

  Bartender : [Starting to get suspicious]  Uh, you boys look a little... *old*. Where'd you get those ribbons?

  Izzy Einstein : [Indignantly]  Have you forgotten the Battle of 'Chemin de Fer'? Didn't you participate in the War to End all Wars? Well, we did!

  Moe Smith : Remember the 'Maine'?

  Bartender : 'Course I do.

  Izzy Einstein : [Pointing to Moe]  Well, he doesn't *have* to. He was ON it!